Self-destructive people: 10 characteristic traits

For someone to harm themselves seems like illogical behavior, typical of madness. However, it is about a negative impulse that we all carry inside to a greater or lesser extent and that comes to light in self-destructive people.

Sigmund Freud found that we all carry within us an impulse towards life and everything constructive, calling it the “life drive”, but also another opposite one that inclines towards death and destruction, which he called the “death drive”.

That would be one of the reasons because in all times and in all cultures wars have occurred. It is also the reason why many people develop self-destructive symptoms and behaviors. However, only in some cases do these behaviors become fixed and become permanent personality traits.

This usually occurs when there is a large component of repressed anger. In reality, these aggressive impulses are directed towards another, but for some reason it is impossible to express them. Sometimes because they focus on a loved person or because they fear the consequences of giving them a voice.

In those cases, the aggressiveness ends up turning on oneself. That’s when you learn to behave like your worst enemy. and self-destructive personalities are formed. These are ten traits that best identify them.

1. Negative ideas in self-destructive people

Self-destructive ideas understand all those thoughts intended to devalue a person, impede their advancement or detract from their achievements. In the mind of someone who is self-destructive, these thoughts arise almost automatically.

The conducive context for “self-fulfilling prophecies” is then given. : you won’t be able to, you won’t be able to, you won’t succeed. His strength is so great that, indeed, it ends up being like this. There also appears an approach in which the individual always emphasizes what he lacked, what was not perfect, what he is not, or does not have. All this is a powerful nutrient of self-destruction.

2. Passivity and forced incompetence

In this case Passivity has to do with stopping acting in the face of a situation or circumstance that causes harm.. It is recognized that it is something negative, but no measures are taken to stop or control its effect. It happens when, for example, we do not defend ourselves against abuse or aggression.

Forced incompetence is that inclination to highlight gaps or lack of skills. Before trying, they inflate all those personal limitations that make it difficult to do something. No efforts are made to overcome them, but rather they become a justification for not acting.

3. Eating disorders

The way we eat says a lot about what we think and feel about ourselves. Not eating is a way many people hurt themselves. They do not provide their bodies with the nutrients they require to stay healthy.

The same thing happens at the opposite end. Eating too much causes different health problems, in the short and long term. Sometimes an insatiable appetite appears. When filling it there is no satisfaction, but sadness, feelings of guilt and… desire to eat more.

4. Harm to others and self-pity

Self-destructive people often develop hostile or harmful attitudes toward others.. They create unnecessary conflicts or are inconsiderate, rude, envious, gossipy, etc. They see the other, fundamentally, as a source of confrontation. The others cause frustration in them, because the links are based on comparisons in which for “x” or “y” reason they always lose.

The usual thing is that after these conflicts they fall into deep episodes of self-pity.. They attack, but when they respond, they behave like victims of an unjust act. They insult, but when they are insulted they feel sorry for themselves. They do not admit that the fruit of their harvest is a fruit of what they sowed.

5. Self-harm and substance abuse

Self-harm is sometimes obvious and other times not so much. There are those who deliberately cause injuries: they cut or pull out their hair. They are also exposed to risky situations, which causes relatively frequent accidents. Other times this is done in a less obvious way: with a painful tattoo or piercing in a very sensitive place on the body.

There is also self-harm when substances that harm the body are abused.. The most obvious case is that of excessive drug consumption, such as alcohol. Addictions are highly self-destructive and in their extreme degree always lead to death.

6. Social suicide

Social suicide occurs when emotional ties with others are cut.. Generally it is a gradual process: first there is a reluctance to be with others and little by little this translates into progressive isolation.

Self-destructive people not only isolate themselves, but develop a series of behaviors that are irritating to others.. Sometimes they are excessively demanding or show contempt for others. They only see the negative in people. They feel that their behavior of rejecting others is justified.

7. Hiding emotions and refusing help

It is very difficult for self-destructive people to be honest with themselves.. They fail to recognize their feelings and emotions, but instead try, unconsciously, to keep them hidden. They make all sorts of rationalizations to justify their behavior and refuse to admit that they have a problem.

Hence it is also very difficult to help them.. If someone suggests that they visit a psychologist, they will see this as a sign of aggression and contempt. They could react aggressively if they receive advice or someone suggests that by changing certain behaviors they could be better off. Precisely what these people want is not to be well and if possible it is circumstances or others that keep them in that situation.

8. Physical and mental neglect

Self-destructive people often forget about their own body. They do not do any physical practice nor do they give importance to doing so. They have a negative opinion about their body and, of course, the physical pleasure involved, for example, in sexuality. Much less do they put effort into their personal grooming. The lack of care for their body is a manifestation of the little appreciation they feel for themselves.

They also do not put effort into solving the problems that are in their mind.. If they have insomnia, they accept it and resist taking action about it. If they experience emotional discomfort, they choose to victimize themselves, but not to seek a path that will allow them to solve it.

9. Unnecessary self-sacrifice

Life requires sacrifices in many circumstances. However, these are worth it when they are aimed at higher achievement. When they are a necessary step to achieve greater well-being. If they simply become a constant suffering that gives rise to a situation that does not progress, they correspond to self-destructive behavior.

There are those who assume that these continued self-sacrifices are proof of nobility, good character or altruism.. What is at its core is an act of self-sabotage. What this type of behavior covers is a renunciation of desires, dreams and achievements. A painful or unrewarding situation is maintained only to reduce the chances of being well.

10. Sabotage of relationships

Deep down, self-destructive people don’t feel worthy of love. In fact, their self-esteem is very lacking. Therefore, in some way, they do not tolerate a relationship in which everything is going well. Strange as it may seem, if they feel loved or appreciated, they will do everything in their power to put an end to it.. They feel better in the role of victims than in the role of lucky ones; They prefer elusive luck so they can complain about it.

Additionally, they are likely to become capricious or demanding. They try by all means to persuade the other person that it is not worth having a relationship with them, or that the affection they experience has no basis. Sabotaging positive relationships is a way to stay in a self-destructive position..

This type of behavior speaks of undigested experiences and difficulties in structuring self-image. Self-destructive people are, above all, victims of themselves. They are trapped in the mandate imposed by a person or a circumstance against which they could not defend themselves. This identity mark is given by traumatic situations. It is as if a person were trapped inside a mirror that reflects them in a distorted way.

It is true that those who have these traits show difficulties in their self-esteem. But beyond that, what there is is a difficulty in self-perception. Seeing yourself in a more constructive way involves challenging an authority figure or command. imparted. What lies behind this position is an unconscious fear of, for example, being happier than one’s father or mother. Or to prove that, for example, a religious “truth” is not so true. Whatever the case, it requires professional treatment.

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