Regardless of what made you lose confidence, you’ll be walking on eggshells until you get it back. The trust between the couple is an integral part of what holds them together for the rest of their lives.

Trust is something that is very easily lost. If you are going through this situation, most of the responsibility for solving everything rests on your shoulders. Be brave, admit your mistake and start working hard to make things as they were before.

Facing the problem:

1- Recognize that you lost the trust of your love for something you did (or didn’t do).

To do that or not was your choice. Whether it was an impulsive action or an intentional omission, their disrespect made you feel like the other person didn’t matter. Regardless of whether you had an affair, embezzled money from the joint account, did something against the other person, or tarnished their reputation, it all stems from your action or inaction.

2- Consider whether you really want to regain the other person’s trust.

The idea here is to go back to the previous level in your relationship, or at least try to start over. If you feel compelled to do this for yourself (without family pressure or social obligations), you should move forward, reassured that you will do everything for the right reasons. In these terms, it’s about restoring what you both had because that’s important to you.

3- Prepare to accept the blame for what you did.

There’s no way to regain someone’s trust if you spend all your time trying to shift the blame onto someone else. Don’t justify your behavior by saying that the other person was always “too busy”, too worried, too boring, shopaholic, etc. You would just be trying to take the load off your shoulders.

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The situation has nothing to do with whether or not she is meeting your expectations; you have destroyed her expectations, and you will need to rebuild the foundations of your relationship. Under no circumstances try to make it look like it was her fault. If you do, she will not consider her attempts to be genuine.

4- Deal with everything you’ve done wrong.

Whatever the problem, look for the solution needed to eliminate the reasons for lack of trust. This positive sign about your willingness to change things will not go unnoticed by the other person. If the problem is a romantic involvement with someone, stop it immediately!

5- Talk to the person.

Talk about what you did, accept your share of the blame, and describe what you are doing to restore her trust in you. This will require a lot of honesty and courage on your part, as well as a willingness to listen to what she has to say. She will likely have a lot to say, but even if you listen all the time, respect whatever her reaction is. Regardless of the way she is receiving it, listen and learn.

Regaining trust:

1- Expect various levels of distrust on the part of the other person.

She’ll always be wondering where you are, who you’re with, if you’re really doing what you said you were going to do, etc. Do what you can to preempt questions by providing information that can convince her that you are telling the truth. If you’re worried about where you’re going and who you’ll be with, invite her along.

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Be more open. Show your social media accounts, your friends list, etc. Show your phone’s contact list. Be willing to answer the phone around her. Don’t make her run after you.

2- Be considerate.

Be careful how you show your attention. While it may seem like a good idea to buy something nice as an initial apology, don’t think that this will completely solve the issue. The most important thing is to show your commitment, listen, explain clearly and carefully what you are doing or thinking, apologize and don’t offer any reason for the other person to harbor any mistrust.

3- Be sympathetic to the other person’s wishes.

She may feel that her behavior or actions have undermined opportunities to do something she believes is important; find ways to help her achieve her desires, or at least don’t be an obstacle. She may feel the need to take some time away from you.

4- Be sincere.

If you want to regain the other person’s trust, you must act accordingly. Actions speak louder than words, and she’ll be watching closely, waiting for slips, not sure of your sincerity. This may seem difficult to you, but it is a reality when trying to regain someone’s trust.

You’re in the spotlight, no matter how uncomfortable it is. You have something to prove, and she will be weighing your actions and trustworthiness all the time.

5- Make an effort.

Regaining lost trust takes time, effort, and solid evidence of change for the better. It is not something that can be done overnight. You will have to work hard. It can take days, weeks, months or years. You must persevere, in the mindset that your relationship is worth rescuing.

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6- Let time heal the wounds.

Just like you, the other person has been going through a range of emotions. In a few moments, this will become very clear. It may be easier to talk at times, and harder at others. All of this is normal and part of the healing process. It is important not to rush things, forcing the other person to make decisions about their feelings or desires for the future; if she feels pressured, the simplest option is to give up on you, for fear of being controlled or manipulated.

Space, time and love are the right ingredients for the couple to be able to start over.