sadness in children

No one is exempt from being sad, not even the little ones. The loss of someone, an unforeseen circumstance, a missed opportunity… Sadness in children is no exception. Therefore, we must be there when they need us. Educating them in emotional awareness and regulation is key so that they are then able to express how they feel.

The film Inside Out, translated as Intense-Mind (Latin America) and Inside Out (Spain), makes clear the importance of basic emotions in our lives. Specifically, recognize and express sadness. Because, like fear, joy or anger, Knowing how to channel discouragement is something we should be taught as children.

Help them understand what sadness is

When we encounter someone who seems sad, we often tend to run away in the opposite direction. It seems that we are afraid of getting infected and, therefore, we prefer to be close to those who always have a smile as their flag. But Sadness in children, as in adults, is an essential and necessary emotion. And without it, we could not get the idea of ​​what joy is.

Although during adulthood it is more common to feel this emotion due to the disagreements that may have happened to us in life, In children it is, to say the least, shocking. It is rare to find a 5-year-old sitting on a bench alone staring into space or delving into his inner life. His innocence, his precarious intellectual maturity, and his uniquely playful preoccupations are supposed to guarantee him unwavering joy. But it may not be so.

This does not mean that children do not have the right to feel bad. They have it and in fact, It is more common than we imagine, convenient at certain times and inevitable in many other cases. For example, they may feel melancholy because of the loss of a family member or their pet, because of a change of school, because of a small fight with a classmate…

Therefore, the best way to help them is to talk to them about sadness, teaching them to identify and understand it. We must make them see that it is preferable to recognize than hide. That we all feel this way sometimes and that it is good to embrace this emotion to calm it and let it go.

Ways to express sadness in children

Like adults, children can also express their emotional state in different ways. When they are having fun and are happy, it is normal for them to laugh, play and be happy. When they are afraid, they usually remain motionless and silent until the scare passes. But When they are sad, the way they express that emotion is not so clear.

Sometimes, they can perform opposite behaviors on the same day that mask their true state of mind.. Let’s look at examples of how sadness manifests itself in children:

Hypoactivity: they appear depressed, apathetic, indifferent, not very talkative, unappetizing, sleepyheads… They tend to cry frequently, even when there is no clear trigger.Hyperactivity: they eat too much, they are anxious, they don’t want to sleep, they are too talkative…

Thus, in order to detect when sadness dominates them, parents and guardians must be especially attentive to sudden changes in their behavior and emotional climate.

How to help you manage sadness

Once we have detected unusual or excessive behavior in the child, it is good to ask him why he is like this. Surely he doesn’t know how to say it or simply doesn’t want to and prefers to close himself in. But we already know that children, during their early stages of development, are like sponges.

Children learn from their parents’ emotional expressions., so they are your reference also in the emotional field. For this reason, it is advisable for parents to explain that everyone feels sad sometimes. That it is something normal and that dad, mom, grandmother or uncle feel it sometimes. But they must also explain to him that it is an emotion that ends up happening when you manage to understand it, face it and accept it.

Through photographs of faces, drawings or simply talking with them about sadness, their ability to recognize it can be strengthened. Once they know how to identify it, we can teach them how to deal with it through examples in which we ourselves simulate how to do it.

What doesn’t benefit you

Unfortunately, dissimulation is more fashionable than confrontation. From a young age we are taught to exchange a tear for a smile and to suppress sadness. But this does not make that emotion disappear, it only buries it in such a way that when it emerges, it does so with more force.

Mockery: the phrase “you are a crybaby” is tremendously negative when a child is shedding tears. The only thing it does is stop her emotional expressiveness, withdraw her and force her to hide it. It is a very negative way to ridicule her feelings.Hurry up: If we ask him how he feels and he does not answer, it is very common that we tend to urge him and demand that he do so. Now, he will only speak when he knows that he has our support, no matter how long it takes. It is important that we make you feel heard and supported at all times.Downplay: “That’s nothing, it’s nonsense. Dont be like that”. It doesn’t help either because for him the event that triggered it is very relevant. What should be done is to reduce the possible pain or sadness it causes and not minimize its impact.Scold or punish him: “If you keep whining, I’ll punish you.”. With this sentence we are only leaving him one way: to stop crying and endure his sadness. We return to point one. On the contrary, a hug will help you feel tremendously good and full of strength and energy.

As we see, the role of the people around you is essential for you to understand that you should not be afraid to be sad or to admit that you are sad. Sadness in children should not be overlooked.

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