Resilient families: when strong ties allow us to grow

Resilience in families forms a fabric capable of creating strong bonds with which to face any adversity. It is key, therefore, to sow those seeds of incombustible strength on sunny days so that they help us in times of storm.

Resilient families are characterized by having faced more than one difficulty. In this process, they have strengthened their alliances, have learned resources and accumulated reserves to face life not only with greater integrity, but also with more love, humility and hope. It is not always easy to stay united in the face of certain challenges of destiny, but there are those who achieve it together with their loved ones effectively.

Maybe the term ‘resilient families’ catches our attention; However, we are not facing a new concept or an innovative approach to resilience. We now know that the development of this competition It is given in many cases by our family environment. That primary scenario in which we grow is often key to building the roots of resilience.

On the other hand, there is a relevant aspect pointed out by experts in this matter such as doctors Roland Atkinson, Allan Martin and CR. Rankin, (2009). It would be very beneficial to train families in the components that make up this dimension. Resilience must be sown on sunny days in order for it to grow enough to help us on stormy days.. Therefore, we do not have to wait for adversity to cultivate this tool that is so necessary for our psychological well-being.

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the plane takes off against the wind, not with it.”

-Henry Ford-

Resilient families, what are they like?

Salvador Minuchin, psychiatrist, pediatrician and renowned expert in family therapy, conceived the family from a systemic perspective, where all its members relate and influence each other in a decisive way. Thus, The ability to face such specific realities, such as economic or health problems, will depend greatly on the personality and resources of its members. and the way they interact with each other.

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There are families, for example, incapable of providing effective support to their loved ones.. They are those social microcosms where there are no synergies or harmony, where there is no firm family unit and alliances fail when things go wrong. These types of realities may sound familiar to all of us and we undoubtedly know the consequences.

Thus, experts on the subject such as Dr. Fiona Walsh, from Boston University, explain to us in a study that One of the keys to guaranteeing the psychological well-being of human beings would undoubtedly be being able to teach and facilitate fathers and mothers., those pillars that build resilient families. Let’s get to know those components below.

Attachment and support

Every satisfactory relationship requires feeling the imprint of affection, security, healthy love that respects without harassing, that supports without conditions or blackmail.. In this way, the first pillar of resilient families is undoubtedly that of attachment and support, where all members give each other that warm but strong bond that will not allow anyone to fall. No matter what happens, that family nucleus will always remain united, supporting and nurturing emotionally.

Family values

‘In this family we believe in love and respect. We do not tolerate lies, we do not accept words that hurt and behaviors that despise. In this home we defend hugs and nice words. We respect opinions, even if they do not coincide with ours. We also value spending time together, speaking honestly, asking for help when requested, and supporting each other always and in any circumstance.…’. These ideas are simple examples of those values that must constitute the basis of every resilient family.

Cohesion and flexibility

An essential premise of resilient families is that the t everything is greater than the sum of its parts. What does this mean? Basically, in the family unit, it is not just that father or mother who holds all the power and authority that stands out. A family is an alliance based on interdependence, respect and unity, where everyone is equally valuable.

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At the same time, and no less important, we have the principle of flexibility. In happy families there are no rigid patterns, there are no molds that everyone must fit into to satisfy that ideal of the father or those desires of the mother. Each member has the right to grow, to choose, to build themselves. Because flexibility is synonymous with respect and freedom.

Communication in resilient families

Communication is that indispensable tool that pumps up every bond, that makes any alliance possible and the overcoming of every problem. A family that provides spaces for communication, empathetic listening, assertiveness and understanding can face almost any circumstance together. Few dimensions are so basic in our social fabric than knowing how to communicate and allowing others to communicate with openness and appreciation.

Shared time and family rituals

Another of the essential nutrients in resilient families is sharing time together.. It is true that it is not always possible to do it as much as we would like, but it is essential that each moment shared is of quality; hence the importance of rituals. With this last term we refer to those moments that we repeat every day and with which we nourish our alliances and affections.

Thus, and as an example, share with children those moments next to their bed where you can read them a book or simply talk to ask them about their dayis a ritual that strengthens the relationship, that improves trust and those bonds that always last.

To conclude, resilience in the family is shaped by those dimensions where love, respect and commitment to promote and guarantee the care of all members occur. Let’s remember, The whole is always greater than the sum of the parts and this should always define every family unit. Let’s keep it in mind.