The despair, the regret behind the depressive disorder

Those moments in which we feel desperate, anguished by not finding meaning in what surrounds us, angry with ourselves and those around us pay for it… The truth is that behind these distressing psychological realities very often hides the reverse of depression.

Desperation is the echo that emerges from the void. It is the rage at losing hope, it is the sadness transformed into that lament of someone who believes they have lost everything and no longer perceives light on the horizon or meaning in their present. Few psychological states can be as dangerous as that peak where the person no longer knows which path to take or which handholds are true.

We know that despair is a common human experience. Philosophers such as Søren Kierkegaard have spoken about it over time, defining it as a lack of spirit, meaning and challenge. Jean-Paul Sartre, for his part, even went so far as to say that in this dimension there is a frustrating inability to move forward.as well as an almost cowardly negativism that society itself often inoculates us with.

Now, from a psychological point of view, No one delved and unpacked human despair as well as Viktor Frankl. The father of logotherapy and survivor of several Nazi concentration camps, defined this concept through two very basic ideas: suffering and loss of meaning. These experiences are undoubtedly the most devastating for a person, but they can still (survive) them. We can all overcome them and face life with new and better resources.

“What we often call despair is just our painful hunger for hope.”

-George Eliot-

Psychological despair, a distressing emotion

If we took away from every person on this planet their purpose, the vision they have of themselves and the meaning they give to their own life, we would lead them to the most absolute despair. And so Although we often define this dimension as a mixture of sadness and lack of hope, it is worth noting that there is something deeper.

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It is empty and it is also falling into a mental state where one keeps asking unanswered questions. It is common, in fact, for questions to arise such as: but what is the meaning of this life? What am I doing in this world? What can I do now in this situation when nothing makes sense? These types of questions only feed the cycle of despair; undoubtedly leading the person to a corner of psychological darkness where they can become trapped.

Despair fueled by anxiety

Studies, such as the one carried out by Dr. Martin Bürgy, from the University of Stuttgart, Germany, tell us that Until recently, despair has been a phenomenon that was psychopathologically neglected by research. In some way, we left it to that philosophical universe to answer something that was more related to existential problems.

However, Cognitive psychology is clear that this concept has great clinical significance. Desperation can appear occasionally in our lives. We can feel it when at a given moment, everything seems to go against us and we feel temporarily blocked and even lost. However, in other cases, the situation becomes a little more complicated.It happens when we fall into those cycles of ruminative and obsessive thinking where we feed negativity and helplessness.. To these negative thoughts is added a complex network of emotions such as sadness, anguish, anger, frustration…

Thus, it is very common that at the beginning, despair appears as a result of anxiety itself. Nevertheless, If this situation continues over time, the person will almost inevitably drift towards a depressive disorder.

Desperation forces you to face yourself

Desperation taken to its extreme ends up generating extreme ideas in the person’s mind. Suicidal ideation is the result of this total loss of meaning and hope, undoubtedly the most dangerous part of these situations where it is crucial to have psychological help.

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Thus, it is common that Despair is that element almost always present in major depression and even in bipolar disorder. Very delicate situations that often require pharmacological treatment along with psychological therapy itself. However, as we noted at the beginning, these realities can be overcome with specialized help and commitment.

To do this, it is advisable to reflect on some questions.

The anger that lives in despair can help us

Anger remains an unknown emotion. It is energetic, powerful, vindictive and transformative if we channel it well.

Desperation is made of that rage of someone who doesn’t find meaning in anything. There is anger with the world and also with oneself. And that, although it surprises us, is good. Because the most dangerous thing is apathy, immobility, not feeling anything, experiencing emptiness and that everything doesn’t matter to us. On the other hand, if we put anger in our favor and generate changes, things will little by little find a new balance. You just have to channel the energy, so that the positive potential ends up melting into reality..

Face to face with yourself to start over

There are those who say that despair is the prison of our worst self. It is our darkest side, the one that wants us weak and lost. Carl Jung pointed out that the purpose of psychological therapy is transformation and above all, to achieve that individualization where the person finds their own vital meaning.

Desperation forces us to talk to ourselves, to see the worst of our being. Therefore, It is our obligation to accept that ‘shadow’ that Jung would say, to be able to transcend it later.. To reach that brighter and stronger side where you can find hope and security again. It is a journey not without difficulties, we are clear, but it is undoubtedly a path worth starting to leave suffering behind.