Pocketing: when your partner hides you from others

Currently, there are many new terms that are appearing related to new technologies and that are being noticed on social networks. Today we are going to deal with one of them, which although the name may seem something new, has been with us for longer than we think: the pocketing.

This term refers to when your partner hides you from others. For example, he doesn’t introduce you to his friends, he always finds an excuse when you suggest making plans with other people or if he meets someone he knows on the street he creates distance so as not to explain who you are. Now, why does he do it? what are your intentions?

Where does the word pocketing come from?

The word pocketing comes from English pockets and means ‘pocket’, adding -ing we have the meaning of the action, which would be “bagging or putting in the pocket“. Applied to relationships, it refers to when your partner hides you from the people in his or her circle or environment.

Those who practice pocketing They go beyond avoiding that dreaded moment of meeting your partner’s parents. As psychologist and life coach Ana Jovanovic explains: “Pocketing is a situation where a person you’re dating avoids or hesitates to introduce you to their friends, family, or other people they know, in person or on social media, even though you’ve been dating for a while. Your relationship seems non-existent in the public eye“.

In summary, On a public level, your relationship does not exist, it is hidden and is only visible when you are alone. Some attribute this to the fact that it is a way of creating space and distance in the relationship, which is why meetups are usually alone and of course outside of public or crowded places.

I like you, but I hide from you: What’s behind the pocketing?

There are many factors to take into account regarding the pocketing, since there is no clear reason why people practice it. However, some of them may be:

To have recently got out of a relationship and think that it is too quick to include you in the circle of dear and close people. The cause is probably the fear that it won’t work and that the breakup will be more painful later.Have a parallel relationship with another person.Fear of commitment. In this case, the person you are dating fears that the relationship will become more serious than they would like or for which they are not prepared. Another reason may be that their environment has a completely different image of them than the one you have. and that makes do not want to show all your “faces”.It can also be who likes to have a relationship secretly. Having the feeling of the risk of being discovered makes you feel good. Perhaps the cultural or religious reasons.Or you may be at a point in your life where don’t feel ready to tell the world that you have a partner.

Although we have given some reasons, the reasons for pocketing They will depend on the situation in which each person finds themselves.especially on an emotional level, and his personal history.

Signs to identify pocketing

It is important that we keep in mind that It is normal that in the first weeks – and even months – of dating someone, many people still do not feel comfortable introducing their partner. in his inner circle.

In this scenario, it is to be expected that they want to get to know the other person well, see if they are someone with whom they share enough things in common to have a serious relationship, and even that they do not want to bring the person into their close circle until they know if they are. someone they will be with long term.

Nevertheless, If you have been dating the person for several months, and you still haven’t met a single friend or family member, it is likely that they are making you pocketing.

Some signs that could help you detect this type of situation are the following:

Your partner never makes plans with you and other people.He makes excuses why you can’t meet his friends and family.You usually meet in secluded, discreet or intimate places. He doesn’t talk much about the people in his social circle.You don’t appear on their social networks. If you meet someone he knows, he usually doesn’t introduce you and even pushes you aside.Your friends and family have never heard of you. When situations arise to meet a family member or friend (for example, a birthday or family dinner), your partner always has an excuse or an explanation as to why it’s not yet a good time for you to go.

What to do if I am a victim of pocketing?

If at any time you have been able to observe these signs, Maybe it’s time to express your doubts about it, talk about the relationship you have. and know if you are both going in the same direction.

In this sense, Try to promote a dialogue between the two, where your partner feels comfortable and leads to an honest and sincere conversation.. Make it clear that you are curious why he hasn’t introduced you to his closest friends and ask him if this is going to happen sooner or later. If she gets defensive, take it as a sign to consider breaking up.

In addition, if the reasons that led him to do you pocketing They don’t justify their actions, then it’s time to let it go. Remember that no one deserves to feel bad in a relationship and that you deserve to be with a partner who knows how to value you in public and in private.

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