How to develop social skills in children

Developing correct social skills in children will not only help them build more positive relationships or interact much better with others. What we will put at your disposal is the authentic core of social and emotional learning, where empathy and assertiveness constitute two indisputable psychic tendons.

Let us now ask ourselves a simple question: ““How do our little ones really learn?” As multiple studies on social psychology tell us and even as Albert Bandura himself revealed to us with his experiments, Children develop most of their learning through observation, imitation and continuous interaction.

Of course, we call all these processes “sociability” and they in themselves form determining foundations in the child’s life.. Thus, depending on their quality and the experiences lived, the perceptions, constructed attributions and the assumed socio-emotional learning, healthy and effective social competencies will be shaped or, on the contrary, a series of deficiencies that usually occur. be very problematic already in pre-adolescence.

On the other hand, something that experts in child psychology often tell us is that Today’s social reality is much more complex for children than it once was for their parents.. The media, new technologies and the constantly changing rules of our society place our little ones in a terrain that is too big for them and for which they do not have a compass with which to position themselves.

The ways of relating and even meeting people have changed.social networks or messaging services are more dynamic, they offer new opportunities, they are faster, they lack filters, control mechanisms and at moments, of course, they are quite dangerous.

It is positive that the social development of children covers many areas, many areas and new scenarios. It is vital to put at their disposal those tools, sufficient and necessary, so that they can function effectively and healthily in an increasingly intricate social sphere; broader, but also valuable, at the end of the day. Hence the importance of learning social skills in children.

The development of social skills in children

One of the most effective strategies for teaching social skills in children is create a “social language” from very early stages. We are talking above all about a type of understandable, basic and effective language that even 2-year-olds will be able to understand.

Let us remember that this age is a decisive moment in the child’s growth. Now is when he begins to claim his early autonomy, to shape his character and to be much more receptive to everything that happens around him.

This social language that will favor the early development of social skills in children is based on the following dimensions:

Learn to practice active listening. We cannot speak while the other person is saying something, we must respect times. This is something that is difficult for them, because their self-control is still very limited. On the other hand, the best way to teach them is by example: if we do not interrupt them, they will learn not to interrupt us.Little ones must learn to show gratitude, know when and how to apologize, and include a “please.” in their demands. Let’s teach them, either implicitly or explicitly, the difference between a request and a demand. Appropriate social language also includes different “wisdoms”: giving ourselves positive reinforcement, knowing how to say “thank you,” knowing how to tolerate, knowing sharing, recognizing when others do something well and when I am the one who makes a mistake.

Help them form a positive image of themselves

Ensuring that from a young age our children learn to value themselves, love themselves and protect their rights and identity is investing in their quality of life and giving wings to their personal potential. However, how to achieve it? Sometimes we are so immersed in promoting curricular skills in them and ensuring that they are good in mathematics and skilled in English that We completely neglect the most essential thing: promoting a positive image of themselves.

Keys to promoting good self-esteem in children

Be their best model, be their best reference and a figure to imitate on a daily basis. Dedicate quality time to your children. It’s not just about being “present,” but about your presence being nourishing, nurturing, and inspiring.Offer them opportunities. The little one who feels competent builds correct self-esteem every day.Avoid labels at all costs, do not compare him with other children or with his siblings or with any other person. That child is unique, he is valuable and is capable of doing incredible things for himself. He always values ​​his efforts. Also, before resorting to mere punishment or negative criticism, teach them the correct way to do things.

Assertiveness, key to social relationships in children

Teach our children The art of assertiveness should be one of our highest priorities as parents or educators. This dimension is also related to self-esteem, but it goes a little further. It is the ability to know how to protect and claim my rights, it is understanding that whoever is in front of me also deserves the same respect as me. It is, after all, the healthiest substrate of our sociability and that bridge that would allow us to walk with confidence in any personal, school or work scenario.

Keys to developing assertiveness in our children

Must offer children adequate tools so that they learn to manage their emotions early. Only then will they realize that rage or anger, for example, must be previously controlled in order to express anger, disappointment or contradiction in a correct and intelligent way.

Support children’s initiatives. As long as these are permissible and safe, it is necessary that they feel comfortable when it comes to getting involved in new activities, new projects and new dreams. It is very healthy for our children and adolescents to perceive themselves as worthy and capable of having their own goals and objectives. Likewise, it does not matter if they later fail or make mistakes, this learning is key to promoting their assertiveness.It helps the child learn to be assertive from an early age in different scenarios. Allow him, for example, to be the one who buys that train ticket, he who together with you makes that purchase in the store. Encourage them to go play with those kids they don’t know at the park, to ask their teacher for help when they don’t understand something…Likewise, it is always useful to give them certain “scripts” on how to protest or defend themselves when something doesn’t seem fair to them. . A good way to achieve this is favoring democratic and constant dialogue in one’s own homewhere we all have the right to speak, to be heard and to be respected.

Learning to live together and enjoy social relationships

Few gifts are as valuable to a person as enjoying a childhood in the company of those first friends, those first adventure allies., one of those wonderful accomplices of mischief and fabulous discoveries. Promoting these early bonds and their quality is also our responsibility, thus promoting the development of social skills in children.

We must teach them models of respectful relationships, where cooperation, respect, empathy and complicity will help them build more positive bonds. Likewise, to know how to live in harmony with their peers and other people, They must identify and know how to react to those aspects that deteriorate coexistence. An example of this is undoubtedly aggressive language, contempt, offence, ridicule, ignoring others and criticizing. On the other hand, as parents or educators we must also support the friendships built by children. We must always be that person close to whom they can consult when a problem, a conflict, a doubt, a concern arises related to their friends.

Learning to resolve conflicts

Life is not always a straight line, it is not easy, sometimes it hurts and it is tremendously confusing. Something that we would undoubtedly like is to be able to remove one by one every difficulty, every problem and possible conflict that may appear in the lives of our little ones. However, if we did so we would not be educating a child to live in society, we would be modeling a person to live in an aseptic and unreal environment.

Since at some point in their lives they will come face to face with those contradictions so common in human beings where the seed of conflict arises, It is necessary that we give them strategies so that something good always emerges from this disagreement for all parties.. These would be some keys.

Help him develop good self-confidence. He must feel safe when expressing, acting, interacting with someone who disagrees with him. Let’s encourage an attitude of non-violence. Aggression, shouting or any type of expression that involves violence does not solve anything. On the contrary, it increases it. Let’s provide you with some simple guidelines so that you can begin to control your emotions. Likewise, Dimensions such as assertiveness, tolerance and good decision making are strategies that the child must consolidate over time. to feel more effective when it comes to resolving conflicts. On the other hand, skills such as a sense of humor or creativity are very effective tools for calming conflicts and taking them to much more enriching outlets.

To conclude, something we should also keep in mind about social skills in children is that we do not usually give excessive importance to this dimension during early childhood. However, when reaching the last grades of primary school and especially in adolescence, socialization problems, suffering and conflicts suddenly appear.

The correct development of social skills in children is not limited only to “offering strategies” like someone offering them vitamins, an instruction book or a gift that one does not know very well…