4 keys to raising emotionally strong, resilient and happy children

Is it difficult to raise happy children? In recent decades, and thanks to the change in roles in the figure of women, it is curious to see how A new phenomenon is emerging that could be described almost as “bad mother syndrome”. It is easy to understand and we are sure that more than one of our readers will identify with it.

Today’s woman not only aspires to have a good professional career, to have economic independence, a good partner who understands her, a social group of friends with whom she can identify. Within this complex circle, they are also found: the children. The most important thing in his life, but to those who, in some way, He has the clear feeling of not devoting as much time to them as he would like.

That’s when doubts arise Will I be doing it right?? What if I’m not serving them enough? What if I’m making a mistake? All of this sometimes leads them to suffer from what is known lately as the “bad mother syndrome.”

Today, “motherhood” has stopped focusing exclusively on the figure of women. The roles are more openly shared, and that, without a doubt, is very good, but somehow, the maternal figure continues to see herself as a vital axis in parenting. Hence the doubts, hence the concerns.

How can we raise happy children in the midst of this demanding society, in which we usually do not have as much time as we should? We give you a series of keys that can help youWhether you are a parent, educator, or a thinking mother, wronglythat she is not being a “good mother.”

1. To raise happy children, help them make decisions

You may not be able to dedicate as long as you would like. You have a certain work schedule and sometimes, you don’t get home in time to do homework with them or to go out for a walk. It doesn’t matter.

However, there is something you should avoid. Do not allow them to lock themselves in their rooms, do not let television, the computer or video games “take away” that little time that you can share in the best way: talking. Have a daily chat with them calmly and closely.. Know what their concerns are, their desires.

If they have a problem, don’t solve it for them, offer them strategies and advice so they can do it themselves. To raise happy children we must first make them responsible for their own affairs, giving them the means with which to face those small daily problems.

Help them and teach them that in life there are also failures and that everything must be learned. It is also necessary that they manage the important concept of “frustration”.

2. Offer them autonomy within limits

Education begins from the “zero” moment of birth, and remember, it is a matter of two. The two parents must agree on what educational guidelines must be applied, define what will be allowed, what schedules to establish, what to prohibit and what to negotiate.

Children should know from a very young age that at home, as in society, there are limits that we must respect., and the sooner they know it, the safer they will feel, because they will know what to expect at all times. Once the rules are established, we will offer rights, and all rights are negotiated and discussed.

It is also important that we offer children adequate autonomy. according to their ages. It is a way for them to feel capable and secure in themselves, always having our support and guidance at all times.

Autonomy is a key factor in the education of children. As the years go by, they will feel that they have their own thinking and will want to make their own decisions. It will be positive to let them be the ones to check if their decision is right or wrong. Many parents, for fear that their children will suffer, tend to be overprotective without realizing that they are diminishing their learning capacity.

3. Never try to compensate for the time you can’t spend with them

It is a mistake that many fathers and mothers make today.. By not being able to spend as much time with them as we would like, we end up falling into the easy resource of compensating them with a gift, with a toy, with that video game they always ask for, with that tablet, with that cell phone… It is a big mistake.

Children do not appreciate gifts as much as we think. And even more so if we use it as blackmail, because they, deep down, end up understanding the strategy very well. So, we must be clear: there is nothing to compensate. Parents work and it is normal, each one in the family has a function and a role, We don’t have to compensate them with “objects” for not being at home.

So don’t hesitate to do things together with them, play, talk, cook, take a walk… Close your phone and laugh with your children, without worrying about whether or not you are the “perfect” father or mother. It doesn’t matter, there are a thousand ways to be a good parent and they are all useful for raising happy children.

4. Emotional intelligence

Educating our children from a young age in emotional intelligence will, without a doubt, be a success. Let us remember that emotional intelligence, as Daniel Goleman describes “is the ability to recognize one’s own feelings and those of othersmotivate ourselves, to correctly manage emotions, both in ourselves and in our human relationships.”.

Mathematics, language, geography, music, physical education, etc. are taught at school. But there is no subject called “emotional intelligence.” Teaching our children to make healthy contact with their emotions and those of others will offer them the opportunity to enjoy good emotional health. In a society where we are bombarded with external stimuli, Changing the focus and learning to know yourself will be essential to grow in peace and harmony..

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