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Second chances are not suitable for all couples

One of the first thoughts that appear after a breakup is “what if I give him another chance?” However, this decision must be thought very carefully before making it, and here we will tell you why.

You probably know that couple who has broken up and gotten back together more than once. They try, but in the end those second chances they give themselves don’t seem to work. So much so, that second chances become third, fourth, fifth, until they end up giving up trying. Maybe trying again is not an option for them.

Second chances are not an alternative that can work for all couples, since It contains, at times, a lot of resentment. Unresolved problems or other circumstances that, no matter how much effort we put into them, we will not be able to overcome.

If there is a commitment to change, second chances can work.

Many times, giving yourself another chance works very well, it even improves the relationship.. But this is because the two people in the relationship have been able to take full advantage of the time they have been apart. Not all couples do this, which is why the most common thing is that later the relationship does not work equally well.

Second chances don’t usually work

Why don’t second chances usually work? For one simple reason, couples come back for the wrong reasons. These can range from need to the emptiness they feel for having spent so many years sharing their life with someone. All of this can mean that they suffer from emotional dependence, a problem that affects many people today.

If you return to your partner for wrong reasons, it is impossible for your relationship to move forward. You gave yourselves another chance because you felt alonebecause you found yourself unable to continue with your life after leaving him, because you couldn’t tolerate the sadness or get over the breakup.

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You miss your partner because you are not capable of being alone and this is negative. The problems that led you to the breakup will still be there, they will arise again and they will plunge you back into a toxic relationship where you will be anything but happy.

You need your partner because you are afraid of loneliness and that feeling of emptiness that attacks you when you extend your arms in bed and don’t touch anyone, when you are loaded with bags and no one takes you any, when no one hits and takes off your lips.

“Depending on the person you love is a way of burying yourself in life, an act of psychological self-mutilation where self-love, self-respect and the essence of oneself are offered and given away irrationally.”

-Walter Riso-

Maybe you have made the big mistake of leaving all your happiness in the hands of your partner. and now it’s taking its toll on you. You are not capable of starting your life alone, of seeing beyond your relationship. You believe that without that person your life has no future and no hope of moving forward. What you don’t know is that you can be happy alone, in fact, you have to spend time alone.

If you take advantage of the time you are without your partner, you can discover and see your relationship differently, from different perspectives. This way, you can check if you did the right thing, if you deserve a second chance or if the breakup was the most sensible thing for both of you.

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The better half does not exist

Couples who give each other second chances and these work are because they have known how to enjoy all that time they have been without their partner. They have taken it as an opportunity to reflect, to see everything from another angle and think things through very carefully before making the wrong decision.

These types of couples know that they are life partners, but that they are also individual beings and that their happiness does not depend on the other., but of themselves. Therefore, they are not afraid of being alone. They choose to share their life with the other person, not for the other person to be the breath of their lives.

But, in many relationships there is still the belief that the better half exists and this makes us long to be in a relationship. But, make no mistake, we need to be in a relationship, not fall in love. These are two very different things that cause us to sometimes believe that we are in love when in reality what we want is just someone by our side.

“Have you ever confused need with love?”

-Robert Fisher-

But, Second chances also depend on the previous problems that led to the breakup.. Let’s imagine that it is an infidelity. If the person cannot overcome this terrible disappointment, trying again would be wasting time. Without meaning to, he would reproach her partner for certain things, not trust her and doubt everything. This would not be positive for either of us.

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That’s why, Before giving yourself another chance it is important that you solve your problems. Breakdowns not only as a couple, but also as individuals. This way you can restart the relationship, without hard feelings and knowing that you are independent beings and that you are not together because you do not know how to be alone. Only in this way will second chances be successful.

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