People who fall in love are not like Barbie or Ken

Every year the industry imposes some beauty canons on us that makes millions of women go to war against themselves, trying to lose weight, to look taller, to enlarge their breasts, to look like the women on the covers of magazines. But those women are a trap.

Those models are not how we see them: all the images of beautiful women we know are digitally retouched to look whiter, blonder, more Barbie.

A woman with the body of a Barbie could not walk: her spine couldn’t support those long legs, that wasp waist and that size of breasts.

They are unreal women, and despite this, many of us believe that they are women who arouse the desire and love of any man. Even if it’s not like that.

Why do we want to be Barbie or Ken?

What is it that attracts us to another person? What is it that makes us fall in love with her? There are people who are very successful when it comes to flirting and, curiously, They are not always people who meet the standards of beauty of our patriarchal culture.

In the media we are bombarded with the idea that being ugly nobody is going to fall in love with us. They always play with our fear of rejection and being left alone. These messages go deep into our subconscious.

That is why aesthetic clinics, beauty centers, the cosmetics industry and plastic surgery earn so much money.

They introduce us to some models of unattainable beauty and they deceive us into believing that if we are like them we will awaken the desire of men and that with that desire will come the long-awaited love.

That’s why we bleach our skin or tan it, we curl our hair or straighten it, we wax our whole body, we torture ourselves with expensive treatments and painful, we have surgery on our nose, buttocks, breasts…

And we fight our body to eliminate love handles, stretch marks, cellulite, wrinkles and “blemishes”.

We make up our freckles, we spend huge amounts of money on clothes, shoes, accessories, cosmetics…

We spend a lot of time “getting pretty”, that is, in transforming ourselves to comply with the unwritten norms of fashion and beauty of the moment.

Those rules are changing but we are always their slaves.

Scrawny, pale, gaunt, sickly-looking supermodels sometimes come into fashion; other times curvy models have been in fashion. On other occasions short hair triumphs and others long hair, upturned or small buttocks…

the secret of people who fall in love

Sometimes life shows us that beauty is not everything. Sometimes we come across cases like that of Arnold Swachzenegger, that being married to Maria Shriver, a cultured and powerful woman, of great elegance and aristocratic demeanor belonging to the Kennedy family, He had an affair with the maid at his house.

Mildred was a Guatemalan woman, considered “ugly” and “fat”, without elegance or glamour. The press could not explain how that woman had had a child by the actor a week after his wife had given birth to the couple’s child.

they couldn’t understand how a man so rich, powerful, and muscular could have been attracted to her.

All the comments about Mildred’s beauty were loaded with racism, classism, and machismo.

There are many similar cases. I remember once reading a report about the celebrities and beautiful celebrities who have partners“ugly”: older women, fat women, peasant-looking men…

The journalist presented it as an eccentricity typical of Hollywood millionaires.

I couldn’t understand how could love have arisen between two people of such different beauty and how they were also long-lasting couples in which the non-famous member led his life so calmly, with his love handles, his wrinkles and his bodily defects.

They are people who do not have surgery or work out in gyms to be at the level of their partners, which greatly puzzles their fans: what do the handsome and beautiful see in such ordinary and even unattractive people?

What really drives us crazy

I believe that the key is in the personality and in the chemistry that is generated between two people when they meet, which is inexplicable.

I have felt attracted to people who do not meet the standards of western beauty, but I have always fallen in love with people full of life They give off a special energy. And I’ve noticed how I wasn’t the only one who felt that attraction.

I have often wondered why people like this are so successful.

One thing they all have in common it is his joy of living and also the confidence they have in themselves, how comfortable they feel with themselves and your confidence In themselves.

They are those kind of people who tell you a story and it leaves you stunned listening, They tell you a joke and you die laughing, they transmit their knowledge and experiences to you and you are fascinated.

People who have the capacity to fall in love to many others for their generosity in animating meetings or holding deep conversations in private spaces.

They are people who enjoy giving the best of themselves, who knows how to show his abilities and virtues, who shines with a special light that dazzles us and melts us inside.

It’s not just about her personality, but also about her. his way of being in the world, to interact with others, to move through space.

They are women and men who do not strive to like: it comes naturally they feel free to show themselves as they are because they like themselves.

It’s people who look you in the eye and smiles at you with the soul, people who are capable of transmitting their passion for life to you, people without complexes and without fear, people who have a good relationship with themselves and have a good level of self-esteem, seductive people who fill the atmosphere with magic with their charms.

It’s people who gives off a sense of inner peace and makes us feel at peace too: her energy is contagious.

Those women and those men who attract so much arouse a lot of positive emotions in others: have a special power and they know how to use it to give pleasure to those around them with their mere presence.

They can be fat, they can be short, they can be deaf, they can be lame, they can be the complete opposite of the 90’60’90 model. And, even so, they raise passions.

I think its power of attraction lies in its cability to communicate and to interact with others.

It is very difficult for us to fall in love with sad, insecure or bitter people: the normal thing is that we are attracted to happy people or with overwhelming energy.

We are also very attracted to those that are good people: empathetic, supportive, funny, generous, carers.

Do not doubt your seductive ability

Many times we look in others for that person we would like to be, but most of the time we fail to see our ability to attract others because we feel imperfect when comparing ourselves to “beautiful” people.

However, beautiful people do not do better in love than we do. They may arouse the admiration of the rest for their aesthetic appearance, but they may not arouse the necessary chemistry to fall in love with them.

Deep down, the subject of beauty is subjective: mutual attraction is determined by the chemistry that arises in the interaction and in the pheromones that we unconsciously exchange.

so i think lThe key to succeeding in dating lies in how calm and comfortable we are with ourselves and how free we feel to be who we really are, without complexes, without insecurities and without fear.

It’s hard to arouse passion in someone if we are ashamed of our bodies and our physical appearance: the art of courtship consists of showing sexy how do you feel inside and on the outside, in the positive energies, in the good vibes that we transmit when we feel good.

The dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin that awaken in us are contagious: the more generous we are, the easier it will be to seduce someone with our charms.