Not to run out of topics: 12 ways to start a conversation in different situations

Let him throw the first stone who has never gone through the fair skirt of being totally without a subject at some unexpected moment. Whether in the elevator, on a first date or even with people you already know, the famous silence can arrive without warning. How to get out of this? What to say?

In fact, you don’t have to be an expert in public speaking to strike up a conversation with someone. One of the only factors you should consider is whether the other person seems predisposed to talk, which can even be verified by their posture. Crossed arms and legs mean the person is uncomfortable. A smile and a more relaxed attitude can indicate that an approach is welcome.

Of course, not all people are the same, and a given subject can pay off more with one individual and less with another. This you learn that way: trial and error. The cool thing is to have good topics to make the conversation start and flow. Not sure how? Be ready! Check out the tips below and learn how to bring up the subject like a master.

12 topics that can yield a good conversation

To break the ice, to approach someone, to continue the conversation. Some approaches tend to work in most situations.

With a stranger in everyday life

Sometimes life brings situations where you need to spend time with strange people: at the bus stop, in a long line at the bakery, waiting for some service. Here are some topics you can raise with someone you don’t know – but who is being forced to live with (even if for a short period of time):

1. Talking about time: it may seem like the most cliché topic there is, but it always works. Comment on how the weather is hot / cold / muggy, and what you saw in the weather forecast that it is going to rain / it is for the weather to change / it looks like the weekend will be better.

2. Talking about something in the environment: Talking about what’s happening at the moment can work. If you are waiting to be seen somewhere, for example, it is worth commenting “How long does it take, huh? Is it always like this around here?” It might not generate the biggest conversation in the world, but at least it breaks the ice. If you are at the supermarket, you can comment on the price of a product, or ask where the person found the X deodorant that is in their cart.

3. Praise: be very calm when praising someone: not always the person will feel comfortable with the approach. The cool thing is to be honest and talk about something simple, like a t-shirt, shoes, hat. “How beautiful this shirt, where did you buy it?”. Going around commenting on someone else’s body is not cool.

With people you see often

It could be a friend, a co-worker, the girl you always see at the gym or even someone who has studied with you: even if you like the person, sometimes the subject seems to run away without looking back. In such cases, try:

4. Talking about something you saw on social media: nowadays everyone is connected, right? Then bring up something you remember seeing on the Facebook of the person you’re chatting with! Examples: “I saw on Facebook that you adopted a puppy! How are you?”, “I saw that you went to party X. How is it there?”.

5. Share something about your day: Although other people love to talk about themselves, you and your life can be a good topic to start the conversation. Comment on something cool or curious that happened in your day, about a nice restaurant you went to at lunchtime, or even the gym where you enrolled.

6. Asking from mutual friends: Inserting a third person into the conversation is a good strategy. “Have you seen So-and-so?”, “I’ve never spoken to Siclano again, have you?”, “I saw that you work with Beltrana. Do you talk a lot?”…

On a date or at the club

Matching on Tinder and setting up a first date is easy. It is difficult to know what to say to the person. The same can happen in the club or in the bar: what to say to the target of your interest? Some ideas:

7. Talk about music: Everyone has a favorite band or song. You can talk about the song you’re playing, a show that’s happening in the next few months, or even a cool band you’ve heard recently.

8. Talk about the location: using the very location you are in as a subject can pay off. If it’s too full or empty, if it’s too noisy… Asking if it’s the person’s first time there is also nice. Just don’t use the “do you come here often?”, which can seem a little corny.

9. Talk about yourself: Yes, people love to talk about themselves. Therefore, it is worth asking several questions: what is the person’s hobby, sign, favorite pizza flavor, movies, where will Carnival be, etc etc etc.

In the daily life of the relationship

Relationships have these things: the couple is so used to each other’s presence that it seems that even the dialogue is repeated over and over again. Don’t you have an issue with your love? Change that scenario! Your conversations can go far beyond how hot or cold the day is.

10. Ask about the person’s day: do you want something easier than a “how was your day?”.

11. Talk about the next few days/future: Making plans with people you care about is a delight. Talking about them can be great. From a simple pizzeria to visit on the weekend to a trip on the next weekend, talk about plans you have and your partner’s opinion about them.

12. Talk about something you know the person likes: Several months (or years) of living together make you know a lot about who you like. Bring up some of your love’s favorite topics. It can even be a simple photo on WhatsApp with the message “I saw this and thought of you ♥”.

Regardless of your approach, it’s important to remember that people aren’t always willing to talk. So don’t be annoying or pushy. Respect the will and space of the other.

Questions to resume the chat when the subject is over

The conversation was going great until it just… died? A good tip is to ask questions, encouraging the conversation to continue. The cool thing is to avoid questions that can be answered simply with a “yes” or “no”. Get inspired:

Fun questions:

• What would you do if you won the lottery?
• Which celebrity would you like to go to the club with?
• What would you take to a desert island?

Day-to-day questions:

• Where do you usually have lunch?
• What time do you go to sleep during the week?
• How do you go to work?

Questions about tastes/preferences:

• Do you like cats or dogs more?
• What did you think of movie X?
• What’s your favorite series?

Food and drink questions:

• What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
• Can you cook? What is your speciality?
• Which drink do you like best?

Another way to deal with awkward silences is to not worry about it so much. It is worth remembering that having a few moments of silence in a conversation is something super normal – after all, people need time to think about what to answer. So don’t despair to fill every silence with endless chatter.

It saw? There is no shortage of things in this world to talk about. And to ensure that you are always prepared for a good conversation, it is important to feed yourself daily with culture and information. Read books, magazines, blogs and websites that interest you – and even subjects that are not so much a part of your daily life. Go to the movies, spy on magazines that are on newsstands, check out which are the most listened to songs of the moment! That way, you’ll always have something cool to comment on – not to mention it will become much more interesting.