Never regret being a good person

Don’t regret being a good person. How many times have you thought that it’s not worth it to be someone good? That something always happens against you. That good gestures are not always accompanied by recognition. And not just recognition… but on many occasions you will have realized that your gestures have not even been perceived by the other.

When our gesture of kindness is not perceived by the environment, frustration and helplessness often become flesh in our body and in our feelings. Especially when this happens over time and with the people we love most. Nevertheless People who like to care for and make others feel good should not stop in this instinct of “love” and care for others. just because it is not perceived by others.

The “just world theory” makes explicit a cognitive bias that we all use in one way or another to process information. Many times we expect to receive what we give to others. As if it were an exact mathematical operation. We feed the thought that we will always get what we deserve when that is not the case. I wish this world were a fair ecosystem, with clear laws in advance that told us what to abide by. However, that is not the case.

The difficulty of being a good person in a world that is not fair

The world is not like that. The world surprises with its balance of forces and the scale of priorities of its inhabitants. Inhabitants who on many occasions put personal interest above “justice” or who display a special sensitivity for the errors and rudeness of others. Inhabitants who often punish (consciously or unconsciously) the goodness of others, when they do not venerate gestures that are born of evil or hatred.

In fact We tend to think that good people will be rewarded and bad people will be punished. There is no such law in life. Life surprises us with its coincidence and randomness. This erroneous idea generates many expectations that are far from reality. It is as if we take for granted what is going to happen to us.

Life is not fair in this regard. There are good people suffering and bad people emerging victorious in a sometimes confusing world. However, this does not imply that goodness is something meaningless, not valued, not valuable or not recognized. It is something devilishly necessary that gives a different quality to relationships.

Kindness always returns to oneself

Good people bring light and shine to relationships. Never regret being kind just because you often do not feel that your kindness is perceived and appreciated by others. There are always people who will value your gestures. So, The most important thing, as you can imagine, is not that others recognize what we are, but that you feel comfortable with your own way of loving life and others.

Being a good person is collecting the arrows that we shoot into the world with our delicate bow. The arrows we shoot always return to us states of peace and calm. To the extent that what we do is pure and without an interest in recognition from others, we will be able to feel good about our goodness and we will not regret it. Think that it has the power to comfort us even in the most hidden part of our being.

When what I do is because I am born this way, I am being fair to myself and to others. However, if we want to get something from the other we can always ask them. Maybe you recognize yourself in this example: There are people who, in order to obtain affection and attention from their partners, are very detailed with them. And when their partners don’t return the gesture, they get angry and blame the other for not being thoughtful.

Sometimes we disguise manipulation as excessive kindness

Many times manipulation is disguised as tender kindness and leads to misunderstandings, arguments and excessive expenditure of energy. which could end with a simple honest declaration of intent.

If I want the other person to be detail-oriented, I can ask them to do so, but I will have to accept that if they start to be detail-oriented, it may be forced and not natural. You want that?

Perhaps it is better for our mental health to accept that the other person, in all likelihood, is not going to show their gratitude exactly in the way or at the time we would like. Being a good person from that purity that implies that we do not mind receiving something “equally” valuable in return is an act of authenticity that we should not lose.

If you are doing this to get something in return, be honest with yourself and really consider how to act more genuinely without resorting to those small manipulations that end up generating so much damage in yourself and in the other. Also…never regret being a good person. Kindness always returns in the form of peace with oneself.