Family distancing: how it affects us having those we love far away

Family distancing, when the bond is healthy and enriching, has a great psychological impact. Having to be away from our parents, siblings, children or other significant figures is something that, sometimes, we are forced to do. Factors such as work or moving to other countries in search of opportunities have been, until not long ago, the main motivators.

However, Something that did not enter into our plans was that the current crisis would occur in the second decade of the year 2000. To the humanitarian disaster is added another no less relevant epidemic: that of sadness, heartbreak and the stress of having many of the people we love far away. This is a strange and unnatural pain that is difficult to understand and that, in many cases, opens up a new phenomenon for which we were not prepared.

Because the current distance is not explained only by kilometers. Sometimes, even though we have parents, grandparents or siblings nearby, we do not have physical access to them. How does this fact affect us? Is there any mechanism to better deal with this situation?

Consequences of family distancing

Family networks are woven based on customs and rituals that we like to maintain. Weekly meetings, endless meals followed by fun talks, the grandfather who falls asleep on the couch watching TV, the grandmother who tells stories to the grandchildren and secretly gives them sweets… These are simple dynamics loaded with deep emotional imprints.

Often, they even seem routine to us. Until, suddenly, one day we are missing them. For whatever reasons, those family rituals can end and then we miss them so much that the void they leave hurts excessively.. Family distancing, understood as the separation of a group of people with an enriching bond, has always occurred due, for example, to emigration or work reasons.

Now, today, we find ourselves facing a new, unstudied context. Social distancing is an intervention frequently used in infectious disease epidemics. To this day, very little is known about how this situation influences the family sphere. The few studies we have are still in their early research phases, but they already offer us data that is worth considering.

Stress and conflicts due to family distancing

The University of Pennsylvania, in collaboration with different health and social organizations, is currently carrying out an interesting project. The objective is to understand the impact of pandemics within families. At the moment, the data they are obtaining reveals several things to us.

The first is that The most affected population in this context are undoubtedly children and the elderly. Isolation is a great source of stress, especially for older adults who are alone.

On the other hand, Another interesting phenomenon appears and is the possible conflicts between siblings. This conflict is related precisely to the care of elderly parents. Thus, while some are strict and take care of protective measures at all times so as not to put them at risk, other brothers are more lax and arrange meals and closer meetings with them.

This is often the source of discussions and disagreements.

Mental health problems and worsening of chronic illnesses

Family distancing It is usually handled much better if we know, for example, when we will meet our loved ones normally again. In a context of health crisis there is no stipulated date.

Uncertainty and constant changes subject a good part of the members of that family unit to a series of very specific negative impacts:

Increased stress and anxiety.Increase in depressive symptoms. Difficulties sleeping. Alterations in eating.Worsening of chronic diseases.

What can we do to maintain the quality of the family relationship in situations of distancing?

Many of us already have experience with family distancing. Something as basic as leaving our town, city, community or even our country for work reasons, has caused us to go several months (or years) without seeing our loved ones. Now, in a context like the current one, other more complex elements are added.

In these situations it is advisable to take into account a series of keys.

Strategies to take care of family relationships from a distance

The first recommendation could not be more basic. The most essential thing is to safeguard the safety of ourselves and our loved ones. Based on this, it is good to keep the following in mind:

Being physically separated does not mean being emotionally distanced. The daily connection through the support that new technologies give us is essential. Likewise, there is another decisive element and it is the co-responsibility of some family members over others and also the ability to reach agreements. The daily concern of some about others does not only start from a “you need something?”. It is also necessary a “How do you feel today?”. Beyond material needs are emotional concerns. On the other hand, it is necessary that siblings, parents and children be able to agree on each action. Physical distance is sometimes a generator of misunderstandings and disagreements. Let us agree on the same guidelines to follow, above all, in the care of the most vulnerable.: children and elderly.

In conclusionit is also appropriate in these situations to nourish daily hope. Thinking that little by little distancing will give way to gradual approaches that will culminate in long hugs is something that, without a doubt, we all need to keep in mind.

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