My son doesn’t want to study: what to do?

It is not only important that children go to school, but also that they take advantage of their education to enrich themselves personally and build a good future. Therefore, when a child does not want to study, it is normal for their parents worry and conflicts at home become a constant. However, it is necessary to understand the reasons behind this lack of interest in order to help the child.

It is generally assumed that the minor is lazy, lazy or irresponsible. Thus, he is judged and criticized, he is punished or threatened trying to get him to comply with their schoolwork. Paradoxically, these attitudes tend to perpetuate the problem since what is needed is understanding and clear tools to take action from a different perspective. We will tell you more about it in the following lines.

Why doesn’t my son want to study?

You probably ask yourself this question every time you have to argue with your child to get him to do his homework, or when he arrives with a failed exam. Why doesn’t he want to study? Why doesn’t he understand that it is his duty? Normally, the reasons go beyond simple laziness or rebellion, so it is advisable to consider the following possibilities:

Lack of motivation

All children have an innate curiosity and a desire to explore the world and discover about it. Unfortunately, the educational system often overshadows this natural tendency. Perhaps your child is unable to write a one-page essay and, instead, can write five pages of a blog on a topic that he likes, and motivation is our main driving force.

Obviously, during the training period we have to learn about various topics and not all of them will catch our attention, but a change of focus can make a difference. Theoretical lessons, monotonous and disconnected from their applications in the real world generate disinterest.

Fear to fail

If your child doesn’t want to study, it may be because they fear they won’t be able to perform adequately. Sometimes, developmental delays or learning problems They make it difficult for children to understand the subject and complete their tasks.

But even if there is no disorder, low self-esteem or perfectionism They can lead minors to neglect their schoolwork. And “I don’t pass because I don’t study” may be easier to assume than “I put in all my effort and I still don’t achieve it.”

Conflicting personal situations

We cannot ignore the fact that personal circumstances affect our mood, and this regulates our predisposition and ability to comply and function on a daily basis.

So, a child who suffers bullying at school, who experiences a complicated situation at home or who presents anxiety or depressionyou will not find yourself in the position to start studying, since you will have to deal with your internal world first.

Inappropriate parenting style

Finally, it is possible that parenting style also has an effect on a child’s disinterest in studying. This aspect has various aspects:

A permissive parenting style will make the child feel that they only have rights and not responsibilities.Overprotection can make you feel inadequate to face challenges. The high demands on the part of parents can trigger the fear of failure that we talked about before.Authoritarianism can awaken rebellious and oppositional attitudes that manifest themselves in a refusal to study.

What to do if your child doesn’t want to study?

Now that you have in mind some of the possible causes, what can you do if your child doesn’t want to study? The following are some useful suggestions that will have to be adapted according to the specific case of each child:

Promotes intrinsic motivation. Instead of offering your child material or external rewards in exchange for studying, seek to enhance that innate curiosity and desire for personal improvement. To make the subjects more attractive, help him connect them with the real world, for example by visiting museums or gardens, watching movies or reading historical books, or doing practical experiments related to his subjects. Reward the process instead of the result. Try not to focus on the grade your child gets but on the effort that he has dedicated. This will take the pressure off and reduce the fear of failure, while encouraging you to persevere. Offer support. If your child has specific difficulties with a subject, it may be a good idea. offer you support and guidance while you do your homework, or even sign you up for an academy. This will help you understand the concepts better, seeing yourself capable will increase your self-esteem and this will increase your motivation. Of course, remember to offer this support calmly, without shouting or demands (we don’t want them to associate studying with unpleasant events).Don’t do for your child what he can do for himself.. Helping him with his studies does not mean doing it for him. Help him establish good study habits. That is, prepare a suitable place where he can do his schoolwork, establish a daily routine and make sure he learns study techniques that make the process easier and more effective.

If your child does not want to study, opt for support and not criticism

Although in desperation our first impulse is to blame, judge and criticize, we try to control it and be willing to listen. Try to understand your child’s motives without judging him, in order to be able to accompany him in the process.

Don’t label him as lazy, irresponsible or bad at studies, as this will perpetuate the situation and damage your self-esteem; Instead, help him make the necessary changes.

If you feel like you don’t know where to start, Don’t hesitate to seek professional support.. A psychologist specialized in children and adolescents can help you find the cause and offer tools to redirect the situation.

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