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Fear of sleeping alone: ​​causes and tips to overcome it

Knowing that there is no one behind your pillow or that you are alone at home while you sleep can be terrifying. If you identify, we explain why it is and what to do.

The fear of sleeping alone is a taboo that is rarely talked about, but it affects a significant number of people. Our society assumes that this type of fear is overcome by adulthood. However, in psychological consultations there are numerous patients who describe persistent anxiety at the idea of ​​having to go to bed without anyone else in the house.

It is possible that this type of concern becomes a phobia and completely alters the quality of life of those who suffer from it. If this is your case, We will tell you that it is a condition treatable in therapy. Often, behind this anguish hide unresolved traumas or irrational thoughts that need to be reformulated. We suggest you delve deeper into this topic.

“Fear is as deep as the mind allows.”

~Japanese proverb~

Fear of sleeping alone: ​​characteristics and causes

The fear of sleeping alone usually falls on a spectrum. There are those who feel somewhat uncomfortable without having someone on the other side of the pillow, but, even so, they can fall asleep. After, There are people who experience great anxiety at the thought of going to bed, knowing that there is no one with them. In this case, we could already sense the presence of a specific phobia.

It is important to take into account the general complexity that fears present. Research published in Learning & Memory points out that, many times, fears exceed real danger or the possibility of harm and this lays the foundations for phobias or pathological fears. This is a clear example of it. Below, we describe how it manifests itself.

Associated symptoms

There are still no studies associated with this type of clinical picture. Something like this could be due to a fact: Adults are afraid to talk about the current problem because they think it is a reality of childhood. However, the only way to address a fear is to talk about it and break the taboo. Let’s do it knowing its characteristics:

Fear of sleeping without someone at home or in the room. The anxiety felt makes it difficult for them to fall asleep. It is common to sleep very few hours each night. The time to go to bed is extended as much as possible. Once in bed, anxiety appears and tachycardia. If they go to the doctor it is because of insomnia problems. Most of these people resort to drugs to sleep. Social functioning can be affected by lack of sleep. Poor rest accumulated over time impacts on health. The mind imagines terrible events that can happen due to being alone. When you close your eyes you experience dizziness, tachycardia, discomfort, etc. Parasomnias appear, such as night terrors or sleep paralysis. Fear of dying while sleeping or of being robbed in the middle of the night.

There are many people who, after a breakup or the death of a spouse, experience a terrifying fear of having to sleep alone. It is a psychological phenomenon that is not talked about much.

What usually are the causes?

The fear of sleeping alone in many cases alters the psychosocial functioning of the person. As the Journal of Psychiatric Research points out, specific phobias are the most common anxiety disorders and, behind them, there is usually some cause. If you are experiencing this problem now, you will want to know what causes it; We detail it:

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Imagination and superstitions: This is a reality that we cannot rule out. Some adults are conditioned by unfounded fears that have their origin in cultural traditions or paranormal science.Traumas from the past: In fact, a significant part of the population carries with it adverse events that are not addressed. An unhappy childhood, experiences of bullying, attacks or painful experiences also lead to specific phobias.Vital changes: Have you just broken up with your partner? Did you lose a loved one? Have you recently moved out on your own? Did something adverse happen in your life? Stressful and painful events can lay the foundation for this fear.The weight of social isolation: not all solitudes are chosen. There are men and women who lack meaningful social interactions or a strong support network. This may make them feel very intensely afraid of sleeping alone at home.Depression: Do not leave aside the possibility that, behind the fear of sleeping alone, there is a depressive disorder. Feelings of loneliness and isolation tend to be accentuated at night, when going to bed is seen as very distressing.Sleep disorders: A study in Frontiers in Neurology highlights that suffering from some sleep disturbance, such as chronic insomnia, generates, in turn, neurocognitive disorders. Sometimes, the appearance of a specific phobia is the result of an unattended disturbance in nighttime rest.Somniphobia: This condition defines the irrational fear of the act of sleeping. People who suffer from it extend their bedtime and even experience distorted thoughts during the day about the idea of ​​having to go to bed at night. Sometimes, the anxiety of doing it alone is added to this specific phobia.

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How to address this fear?

The fear of sleeping alone creates a reality that is silent in our society. Many people experience this distress, but do not always take the step to ask for help. Instead, they choose to go to the family doctor in order to ask for a drug that will allow them to fall asleep quickly. This is not the best option. Therefore, we propose more effective alternatives:

Psychological therapy

When it comes to addressing this fear, there are two approaches: exposure therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). An article reviewed in F1000Research mentions the benefits of these two models and we detail them below:

Exposure therapy: It consists of two stages. In the first, the patient faces the thoughts or images that generate anxiety. Next, he must expose himself live, or through virtual reality, to the feared situation. In this case, sleeping alone.CBT for sleep disorders: This psychological model has a variant focused exclusively on this area. Its benefit lies in addressing the triggers of any problem linked to disturbances in night rest, knowing the origin and offering psychoeducational techniques to improve it.

Identify the origin

The fear of sleeping without company is often triggered by a life change. Breaking up an emotional relationship after several years brings about this reality. It is very difficult to fall asleep without that presence that was by your side for a certain time. Be that as it may, it is important to clarify the origin.

Once you need it, develop mechanisms to deal with that situation. Talking to your surroundings, asking a family member or friend to sleep at home some days, can help you. Likewise, the company of a pet acts as something cathartic on all levels.

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Positive visualization

Before going to bed, try to visualize relaxing and positive images. You can imagine a quiet and safe place or remember times when you felt comfortable and protected. It is also healthy to recreate in your mind goals, desires and projects that you want to achieve. This will give you motivation to quell feelings of loneliness.

Video calls before bed

Surely you have a friend or family member with whom you love to talk about countless everyday things. If going to bed makes you anxious, take the opportunity to make a video call with a loved one and relax. It is very likely that sleep will overcome you with a smile on your face and a greater feeling of security.

Relaxation techniques

Relaxation techniques, such as Deep breathing, meditation or yoga are great allies to reduce anxiety. Use the proposal that works best for you. The idea is to calm your mind and body so that a peaceful feeling of well-being and tranquility embraces you.

Sleeping alone, a fear that transcends childhood

The fear of sleeping alone is a common reality, but it lives in the sphere of silence and taboo. It is assumed that, upon reaching adulthood, there are fears that evaporate, such as the terror of the dark. Despite this, they prevail in many people. They are overwhelming emotional experiences that delimit the quality of life of those who face it.

If you suffer from this characteristic, encourage yourself to talk about it with those close to you. The people who love you will not hesitate to accompany you and relieve many of those irrational thoughts that sometimes assail you. On the other hand, If your well-being is increasingly affected by this reality, ask for professional help.

The process of facing fears is always challenging, but therapy will give you the right tools to achieve it. Thanks to her, You will rest peacefully in your bed again, without being invaded by anxiety and nightmares. You will regain control of your life.

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