Moving on and being genuinely happy is the best revenge

The best revenge is the one that is not carried out. The best revenge is to smile at hatred, quell anger and show others that we can be happy. Because there is no better strategy than to act calmly and wisely by moving forward, with a firm gaze and a rested heart, knowing that there are weights that should not be carried with oneself for too long.

Confucius said very correctly that before beginning the journey of revenge we must dig two graves.. Ours and our adversary’s. Philosophy has always provided us with frames of reference from which to reflect on the act of revenge and the moral consequences linked to this very popular and at the same time “attractive” practice.

We use this last term, that of attraction, for a very specific fact. We are facing a type of human behavior that has always caught our attention, we cannot deny it. In fact, something that writers and film producers know well is that revenge fascinates us greatly. There are many who say that it is almost like a medicine: prescribed in small doses it provides relief, but consumed in high quantities it can kill us.

There we have the great literary example of Edmón Dantés or the Count of Monte Cristo. This unforgettable character by Alexandre Dumas taught us that the best revenge is served cold, unhurried and perfectly calculated. Agatha Christie, for her part, made us participate in a complex and equally violent plot in “The 10 Little Blacks” to teach us that evil or bad acts had to be properly avenged.

Revenge attracts us and sometimes we even justify it. However What psychological processes exist behind this act?

Revenge, a very human desire

Most of us, at some point in our lives We have felt so aggrieved, hurt and offended that the shadow of that bitter and ashen figure, but almost always tempting, has passed through our minds: revenge.. Our moral compasses deviate a few degrees from their north and we imagine forms, ways and situations in which the pain that grips us is returned to the person who caused it.

Thus, something that should be clear from the beginning and that psychologist Gordon E. Finley, a great expert in criminal behavior, reminds us, is that revenge has little to do with morality. Revenge is an impulse, and it is the catharsis of rage and hatred. What’s more, and just as an example, as revealed by a work carried out by Professor Ernst Fehr, from the University of Zurich, more than 40% of the decisions made in the business world have a single objective ” take revenge” on a competitor.

The same happens with criminal acts, more than half of them are committed due to accumulated resentment towards someone and the express desire to carry out revenge. All of this forces us to assume that the best revenge does not exist, because beyond the results we obtain with it, something more disturbing, something more revealing happens: We become aggressors and acquire the same moral quality as the one who caused us the original harm.

The best revenge is no revenge

We could justify here that the best revenge is non-revenge, because that is what common and moral sense dictates, because that is what the religious, spiritual and even philosophical fabrics with which we so often tend to move tell us. However, let’s look at this recommendation from a purely psychological prism.

For example, Have we ever wondered what is behind people who use revenge almost constantly? Let’s see it below.

Traits of vengeful people

Behind a person – who reacts to any big or small offense in a vengeful way – there is poor emotional management and a poor capacity for self-knowledge (When someone offends me I let go of my anger and hatred). They are profiles that believe they have the absolute and universal truth. They are the law and justice, they are the clear example of what every person should be. They also present a dichotomous thought, either you are with me or you are not, things are done well or they are done badly. They usually have a very empathy low.They neither forgive nor forget, they live subject to their past and resentment.

As we see, from this psychological and emotional framework, revenge or the desire for it offers no benefit. This impulse, this need or however we want to define it, eats away at integrity and nullifies not only all good judgment, but also completely limits the opportunity to advance as a person to build a more optimal and, of course, happy reality.

We may be attracted to all those kinds of vigilantes from comics or novels in the style of Edmón Dantés. However, behind them there is nothing but suffering and loneliness. Therefore, the best revenge will always be non-revenge or even more, Living well and having others see us happy is without a doubt the best revenge of all.

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