“Mom, I’m dating”: how to deal with teenage children’s dating

Who would have thought that that beautiful baby you bore for nine months in your womb would grow so fast? In the blink of an eye, the children grow up and there comes a day when they want to lead an almost “adult” life: working, going out… dating!

Nowadays dating has started earlier and earlier. It is common to come across such young couples holding hands in line at the movies, on a stroll through the mall or exchanging caresses in public. The question that arises is: where does the stimulus for teenagers to want to start dating so early come from?

According to the psychologist Fabiane Moraes, the stimulus comes from the media – television, music, films that mostly address issues such as relationships, sex, betrayal, dating: “with the knowledge about these topics, curiosity and the desire to reproduce is great ”, he says.

What is the ideal age to start dating?

Psychologist Fabiane says that there is no ideal age to start dating, but some points should be observed by parents: “it is important for parents to be able to assess how prepared and mature the child is to date, since a relationship involves responsibilities . Is this teenager prepared to deal with relationships and conflicts?”

It should also be taken into account that adolescence is a phase of development of friendships, studies, bodily and behavioral changes; therefore, dating could be harmful: “if the teenager is not prepared, the chances of dating not working out, or being a hindrance to growth in other areas are great”, says Fabiane.

For the psychologist, some mature faster, others tend to take a little longer, so normally a more favorable age for starting a relationship would be after 15 or 16 years old.

The importance of dialogue and boundaries

Each family must decide at what age their children will be allowed to start dating. But it is important that the dialogue is always open, regardless of the decision. Parents should have a role in guiding their children on issues surrounding a relationship, such as:

• Maturity,
• conflicts,
• Prevention,
• sexually transmitted diseases,
• contraceptives,
• Teenage pregnancy.

If the relationship has the approval of the parents, it is still necessary to be careful: “some limits in the relationship must be established, such as: not going out alone, or arriving at home at a certain time. It is important that these limits are agreed upon before starting the relationship, because then it becomes much more difficult to control”, concludes the psychologist.