Manipulative victimhood

Manipulative victimhood is present in many personality types. Thus, it is common for it to appear, for example, among narcissists, among those who specialize in emotional blackmail and even among those who use this behavior to obtain some benefit.

The victim, in one way or another, is always protected from outside criticism.. Furthermore, he has the compassion and understanding of many, no matter what he does. In fact, anyone who dares to question the actions of an alleged victim is considered insensitive or heartless.

Victimhood is, therefore, in many cases, a strategy that represents more benefits than problems.

This condition allows us to have a kind of immunity by which everything they say is true, everything they do is well-intentioned, everything they think is legitimate. However, In more than one case, this calculated victimhood, consciously or unconsciously, conceals clear blackmail.

Authentic victims and justifiable attention

There are, of course, real situations of victimization like when someone has been abused, or abused, without having the opportunity to react.

For example, if a person is assaulted on the street or mistreated by another who holds power that he cannot confront: the power of a weapon, a uniform, a position, etc. These types of situations give rise to an objective condition of victimization. Now, this condition is not eternal, nor does it have to be a seal that the person carries wherever they go. After leaving the situation of specific helplessness, continuing in the role of victim is an option, not an unappealable reality.

One thing is true: the victim demands attention, care, support and affection. You need that dedication and understanding to get out of your state of shock and vulnerability. That has no discussion.

Victimhood as an existential position

What does lend itself to debate is victimhood as an existential position. That a traumatic event becomes the eternal letter of introduction. And not precisely to bear witness to an execrable fact, but to gain privileges that would not otherwise be obtained.

They are the type of people who they make their sufferings, carefully exposed, a living resume.

In other more serious cases, some believe that having been victims in a situation gives them a license to hate or harm others. In fact, Studies such as the one carried out by Dr. Richard J. McNally, from Swansea University, analyze what is called the “empire of trauma.”

That is to say, believe it or not, there are people who assume and chronicle the condition of victim because they have discovered that by feeding that state, they obtain many more profits.

Recognizing manipulative victimhood

There is some signs that show this circle of manipulation established by those who make victimhood their way of life. The main ones are:

The victim does not directly ask for what he wants, but rather it sends imprecise messages in the form of complaints or regrets.

For example, they suddenly tell you: “Nobody knows how much it cost me to get here.”. So you don’t know if he wants you to give him credit, if he’s complaining to you because it didn’t cost you the same, or if he wants you to help him with something in particular.

You feel more or less guilty when you are with that person. Every conversation you have with her leaves you with the impression of being responsible for something, but you can’t define it. There is a vague sadness or discomfort with yourself.The victimizer is also suspicious and distrustful.He frequently alerts you to bad intentions in others and justifies his bad actions in his past suffering. In fact, he may accuse you of insensitivity or laziness if you criticize him.He is capable of making great sacrifices for others, without them asking him to do so.. She will show it off.

When someone exhibits these traits, we are dealing with a person who has assumed the role of victim in life.

How to act in the face of manipulative victimhood?

Studies such as the one carried out by the University of Berkeley in 2008 reveal the clear need to delve deeper into the figure of the victim and victimhood. Thus, something that we must be clear about is that behind this profile is unhappiness. Even more, what there is in many cases is the clear difficulty in closing the cycle of their traumatic experience.

They therefore need our understanding, but also our sincerity. The best way to help someone like this is to tell them affectionately and directly what we think of their attitude.. You don’t have to fall into their game, you don’t have to give in. However, we cannot act with contempt or raise armor with which to intensify their behavior.

Victimhood is the mark of low self-esteem. It is the poorly healed wound that sometimes seeks to be the center of attention to disguise its loneliness and discomfort. The only way to end these dynamics is to get that person to seek professional help.

A victim will always deserve our respect, but the moment he uses victimization to obtain reinforcements and benefits What they demand is psychological assistance to adequately deal with their personal reality.

You might be interested…

Image courtesy of YoSeLin