Love or need, what are the limits in a relationship?

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Many times, it is difficult for us to define what love is due to the number of uses it has been given in all types of topics. Therefore, it would be more advisable to start by distinguishing what love is NOT.

At certain points in our lives, we may wonder if we really know how to distinguish love from need. Do we love or need? Do we really know what love is? Why is it different from a necessity?

Talking about “love”, in any of its expressions, becomes very complicated due to the excessive use that has been given to this word in topics that, in reality, are very different.

Being more than just a word, Perhaps we should emphasize what love is not, instead of looking for a possible definition.

Love is not…

The word “love” (if you define it, then it is not).Possession (what you own owns you, it cannot be locked up or trapped).Thought (don’t think “I love”, practice and feel “love”).Interest (where there is reason, there is no love, it is not listed on the stock exchange, it is only ES).Necessity (it is not there to cover gaps in the ego).Temporary (it is not in you, you are always in it “now”).

And the couple does NOT consist of…

“Being a couple”, but about being free.Making promises, but about both taking the helm.Sign nothing, but affirm freedoms.

Besides:

It does not require demonstrations, but communication.The masks or the image that one has of the other are not related.It’s not “falling in love”, that’s just neurochemistry that ends.

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Regarding “couple” love in its multiple manifestations, falling in love is the most confusing, since this transitory state involves an alteration of neurotransmitters (dopamine and norepinephrine increase and serotonin decreases) with an effect very similar to drug addiction. drugs. That’s why, It is advisable to let this state of love pass to make decisions.

According to psychologist John Bradshaw, lasting relationships must overcome falling in love or a transitional state to “companionship.”

There is a much-discussed study on how we change memories regarding this topic. Holmberg and Holmes (1994) interviewed 400 married couples who said they were doing very well and were in love.

Two years later, they were interviewed again and the couples who had separated or were in a worse situation stated that the relationship had been bad from the beginning. This allows us to see how we are able to build memories that justify our decisions.

Now, let’s see what a love relationship is.

The love relationship

It is expressing yourself in every sense.It’s total freedom (otherwise it’s not a relationship).It is playing without rules, because there are no rules if there is love.It is imagination, surprise and unconditional support.It is self-respect to respect both.It’s driving on bumps and checking the wheels between the two.A relationship is not commitment, but liberation.

As the years go by, freedoms are hidden and judgments, pride and egos increase. To all this, we add the problem of technology with the consequent increase in the superficial over the human.

Aesthetic operations as gifts are increasing, the obsession with obtaining recognition, and decadence is increasing, as well as physical exhibitionism through social and mobile networks; to the point that there are already treatments and therapies for this great problem.

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Institutionalization as an obstacle to love

Institutionalization

It cannot be enclosed in temples, sects, religions, fashions, rites or philosophies. Do you think you can label, classify or appropriate freedom? That’s why, love has no sanctuaries, because it is found when it is not looked for and appears when you remove the obstacles.

Was there no light when the room was with the curtains closed? You just have to put them aside, Freedom is not sought, it appears realizing your prison.

Results

A nightingale does not trill to be applauded and that naturalness gives it beauty in its melodies. Sometimes, love is considered a result, something very difficult. It consists of removing more than putting in, which is why we are talking about obstacles.

It also happens with hobbies and attitudes. We are not educated to love what we do, but to love the result and seek recognition. This distances us from the beauty of natural passion that is born from goalless behavior, from a reaction to harmony with the environment that surrounds us.

Conditioning

Break and question every condition that contains and hides this capacity to love that we carry within. What do you do for what is expected of you or what you yourself want?

There are people so caught up in identification that they love a symbol more than a person, a flag or an ideology as a priority to divide and feel special. They are shortcomings and emptiness due to fear of loving, because love destroys everything you thought was safe.

Attachment

Confusing love with need is a very common behavior. Many adolescents start a relationship because their friends already have a partner and they think that it is better to have a partner than to learn to manage loneliness, fear, avoidance, protection… This gives us an example of how attachment can make us mentally dependent on another person.

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Since love is freedom, attachment is an obstacle to love and you have to know how to work on this issue. Sharing freedoms makes us strong, dependence distances us from love.

The ego makes it disappear

In summary, Love appears when the ego with its need for attention disappears.

There are many trains that pass through your life; everyone reminds you and everyone grabs hold of them to throw it in your face. Take the train! This is your opportunity! And nobody, nobody, nobody… remembers that, sometimes, you first have to get off where you’re going.