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Fear of rejection: 5 keys so that it does not take over us

People may be afraid of losing comfort in our lives, of our health worsening, of our social status decreasing, of running out of money, of losing our loved ones, or even of giving up our youth. But also, Although it is not so easily recognized, we are afraid of rejection.

There is a kind of need to receive social approval from others. And it is that Most people like and need to fit in with others.
In fact, a study from the University of Michigan has discovered that your body releases the same substances when you suffer social rejection as when you get hit. This occurs because the body’s analgesic circuit is activated during rejection as it does when reacting to physical aggression.

Seeking security in other people is often a dead end. What you really need to find is security within yourself, not in others. Because if not, any look, word or action of other people can be distorted and misinterpreted as something very close to rejection, when perhaps it is not.

“What the public reproaches you for, cultivate it. That’s what you are.”

-Jean Cocteau-

How to deal with the fear of rejection

It is important to recognize that this fear of rejection is there, it exists. That is the first step – not at all easy – to start taking measures to be able to face it and overcome it. How to deal with it then?

1. Realize what is happening

Introspection can be useful to you. Look inside yourself and reflect on your belief about how possible rejection can influence your behavior and this in your actions. That is, if you go in thinking that they are going to reject you, it will end up happening.

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You can’t change behaviors if you really don’t want to or are not aware of what is happening. Look for signs, but not only of what is going wrong, but also of what is working.. You must be objective and see both sides of the scale.

2. Think about how you want to feel

The person who feels rejected constantly thinks about it, in that he does not want to feel that way, in the reasons why they reject him. But it is an unhelpful vision, because it biases the entirety of reality. It only lets you see a small part of what is really there.

Don’t think that you don’t want to be rejected, but that the less you do it, the more relaxed and confident you will appear and be. The confidence you have will make you see things differently and overcome that fear of rejection.

“Self-confidence is the first secret of success.”

-Emerson-

3. Reflect on how that fear of rejection began

It is likely that during your school years you have felt rejected, as if excluded from the entire group. If this is the case, close your eyes and think about everything you have learned since then. Imagine yourself as a calm child without fear of rejection. Visualize yourself as a calm persontelling that child not to worry, that everything will be fine.

Although it may seem strange, this simple exercise has a great impact on how you understand how you felt as a child and helps alleviate those moments. Knowing the origin of fear can be the first step to putting a stop to it..

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4. Above all, constructive imagination

Close your eyes and use your imagination to feel and visualize your behavior in situations in which you would normally feel insecure.

5. Don’t assume anything

Questioning is learning. Reflection is not bad. On the contrary, it can help you act as you are. Therefore, don’t be so sure about what is going to happen, or what you know. This way you can relax and take into account the possibility that there may be bad or good results. It should not always be assumed that there will be rejection.

Not knowing is the key to having confidence and enjoying life. Nobody knows what is going to happen, or what anyone else really thinks. We cannot predict the behavior of others, because everyone reacts differently in different situations and to different people. Therefore, he tries to keep you confident and learn to relax… Everything will be better.

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