Loyalty is more powerful than blood to become family

We usually give a lot of importance to blood relationship, but… is it more or less important than loyalty in a relationship? We explain it to you below.

We come into this world as if fallen from a chimney. Instantly, We see ourselves united with a series of people with whom we shareyes your blood, your genes. A family that will make us fit into their particular worlds, into their educational models, that will try to instill in us their values, more or less correct…

Everyone has a family. Having one is easy: we all have an origin and roots. Nevertheless, Maintaining a family and knowing how to build it, nurturing the bond day by day to keep it united, is more complicated.

We all have mothers, fathers, brothers, uncles… Sometimes large parental groups with members that, possibly, we have stopped seeing and dealing with. Should we feel guilty about it?

The truth is that sometimes we feel almost a “moral” obligation to get along with that cousin with whom we share so few interests, and who has done so much disdain towards us throughout our lives. We may be united by blood, but life doesn’t fit us into any pieces, so walking away or maintaining fair and punctual treatment should not cause us any trauma.

Now, what happens when we talk about that closest family? From our parents or siblings?…

The bond goes beyond blood

Sometimes we tend to think that be family It means sharing something more than blood or the same family tree. There are those who, almost unconsciously, believe that a child should have the same values as their parents, share the same ideology and have a similar pattern of behavior.

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There are fathers and mothers who are surprised at how different siblings are from each other… How can it be if they are all children of the same womb? It is as if within the family nucleus there had to be an explicit harmonywhere there are not excessive differences, where no one should deviate from the “pattern” and everything is controlled and in order.

However, Something that we must be clear about is that our personality is not 100% genetically transmitted, Some traits can be inherited, and without a doubt, living in a shared environment will make us share a series of dimensions. But children are not molds of their parents, nor will they ever ensure that their children are as their expectations desire.

Personality is dynamic, it is built day by day and does not address the barriers that fathers or mothers sometimes try to raise. Hence, sometimes the usual disappointments, clashes, disagreements appear…

To create a strong and secure bond at the family level, differences must be respected, independence as well as security must be promoted. We must respect the essence of each person in their wonderful individuality, without putting up barbed wire fences, without sanctioning every word and every behavior…

Keys to families that live in harmony

At times, many parents see how their children move away from home family without establishing further contact. There are siblings who stop talking to each other and families who see how many empty chairs lie silent in the living room of the home.

For what is this? It is clear that Each family is a world, a microworld with its patterns, its beliefs and, in turn, with those blinds drawn where only they themselves know what has happened. in the past, and how the present is lived. However, we can talk about some basic axes that should make us reflect.

The purpose of education is to give the world self-confident, capable and independent people so that they can achieve their happiness., and in turn know how to offer it to others. How is this achieved? Offering a sincere love that does not impose and does not control. A love that does not sanction for how one is, thinks or acts.We should not always hold others responsible for what happens to us.. We shouldn’t blame that mother or father that today, she still feels insecure and incapable of doing certain things. Or that brother who, perhaps, was always better served or cared for than us.

It is clear that when it comes to educating, mistakes are always made. But we must also take control of our lives, and know how to react, and have a voiceand knowing how to say no, and thinking that we are capable of safely and maturely undertaking new projects, new dreams without being slaves to the family memories of yesterday.

Being a family does NOT mean always sharing the same opinions and the same points of view. And that does not mean we should judge, sanction and even less despise. Behaviors like these create distances and mean that on a daily basis, we find greater loyalty in friends than in family.

Sometimes, we have the “moral obligation” to have to continue maintaining contact with those family members who hurt us, who make us uncomfortable, who punish us.

They are family, there is no doubt, but we must keep in mind that what really matters in this life is being happy and having internal balance. An inner peace. If that or those family members violate our rights, we must distance ourselves.