Learn about the myths and truths about dominatrix, an area of ​​BDSM

BDSM practices have become increasingly popular thanks to several movies and books that address the subject. The series “Painful Friendship”, for example, shows the saga of a dominatrix and how she overcomes prejudice in her daily life. But what about in real life, what is it like to be a dominatrix?

What is a dominatrix?

To better understand what it means to be a dominatrix and what this lifestyle is like, Lady Lilith and Senhora Évora comment a little on the subject. Lady Lilith explains that dominatrix is ​​a vocabulary “used to a woman who exerts psychological and physical control over a submissive partner”, that is, “refers to a woman who plays an active or dominant role in a BDSM relationship. ”. With variations of the term “domme” or “dominates”, she also explains that being a dominatrix is ​​releasing the submissive’s most unconscious desires.

Mrs Évora says that the dominatrix assists people who practice sadomasochism or who have difficulties in satisfying their desires and fantasies, precisely because these people are not understood by their partners in everyday life. In short, in addition to being a style of practice, being a dominatrix is ​​also a job.

What does a dominatrix do?

The dominatrix satisfies the hidden sexual desires that are often considered “weird” in a normal relationship. Lady Lilith explains that a domme’s “sadistic pleasure lies in providing obedience and control over a submissive.” She emphasizes that everything is consensual and that there are conversations before the sessions, as the boundaries of dominatrix and dominated must be respected. And of course, the session can be stopped at any time, using a safety word or signal.

Ms. Évora says that “through professional dominance, it is possible for these people to perform through sessions, with practices related to BDSM, as well as pre-agreed limits, ensuring customer satisfaction, security and privacy”.

She also says that if people did a self-analysis of their own sexuality, the question of desire almost always leaves the traditional. She still gives examples: “at a certain point during sexual intercourse, the partner pulls her hair and pats her partner’s butt and she feels more pleasure because of this action”, she says. In this case, the couple leaves outside traditional patterns and enters into a fetishistic practice, related to erotic sadomasochism, in which one feels pleasure in inflicting pain and the other feels pleasure in receiving pain, a very common scene among other practices in relationships. of couples.

5 Myths and Truths About Dominatrix

Unfortunately, dommes still suffer from many prejudices. There are many myths and stereotypes surrounding the practice, which makes it difficult and sometimes can make a dominatrix uncomfortable. At the same time it prevents other people from really understanding what the practice is. So, see myths and truths about this topic:

• MYTH – Submission sessions have sex as their objective: Ms. Évora explains that many people think that the sessions have sex as their main objective, which makes people confuse dominatrix with call girls. The practices do not have sex as an objective, even sex may be out of the question in some cases.
• TRUTH – A domme can have a normal life: A dominatrix has as ordinary a personal life as anyone else. Lady Lilith, for example, says she is married, a mother, a teacher and a student of psychology. She lives a normal life with the problems all women face.
• MYTH – Dominatrix has an aggressive personality: Just because the domme is in control during the session and uses aggression to arouse her partner’s pleasure doesn’t mean she has an aggressive personality. Her characters as a dominatrix are different from the women they are in everyday life.
• TRUTH- Everything has rule and control: That’s right! Everything is very serious, there are rules and nothing is forced. Everything has a balance and is done with consent. In conversations and even contracts, which explain what the sub would like and also what the domme would like. Everything is arranged and the session can be interrupted at any time. Lady Lilith also explains that the submissive is the one who has the true control of everything, because “it is he who says and shows how far we can go. The only difference is that we decide how and when”.
• MYTH – Partners are submissive in everything in life: Not quite. The profile of submissives is quite varied, but Lady Lilith says that a curiosity is that the partners are common people, but that “in their daily life they are imposing and very serious people, even dominant”.

Évora concludes, saying that “people need to continue allowing themselves more and more, giving vent to their repressed desires or kept under lock and key, because of prejudice”. Lady Lilith also comments that “the world of domination is complex and has as many nuances as life, with insecurities that over time turn into freedom and self-knowledge”. Interested in practice? See the 20 most common sexual fantasies among women and venture into this world of allowing yourself.