LAT couples: living apart as a solution?

Although the term was first used by a Dutch journalist in 1978, it was in 2000 that American academics and journalists appropriated the term LAT couples (Living-Apart-Together) to name those people who have an intimate relationship and live separatelyeven if they coexist sporadically (weekends, holidays, long weekends, etc.).

Currently, we consider that Models of interpersonal and family relationships are transforming. However, it is likely that this type of couple has been somewhat invisible throughout history. On the other hand, today models of relationships that do not respond to the traditional norm are coming to light.

This series of changes, and specifically the LAT pairs, It is one of the topics that is in the focus of the sociology of the family. Some authors consider that these couples are traditional models in which for various reasons (difficult access to housing, the labor market or degree of commitment, etc.) the circumstances have not been met to live together.

Others, however, think that it is a new couple model based on emotional, individual and intimate freedom. For them, being a LAT couple is a personal decision. In these couples, the commitment to the other is maintained despite not sharing a homewhile in traditional couples coexistence would come over time and hand in hand with commitment.

In what context do they arise?

Nevertheless, It is necessary to contextualize it in a society that is going through changes that affect relationship models.. These are the difficulties in fertility, difficulties in terms of the stability of the labor market, as well as a growth in the educational level and attention to gender equality.

We live in a time when even new technologies are redefining how we relate, how a relationship begins, the importance of distance. In this sense, it is evident that The concept of love and couple has a subjective character today more than ever..

Why choose to be LAT?

This type of couple has been observed in all age ranges. However, it seems that Reasons for maintaining a LAT relationship differ by age group.

Among young people between 18 and 24 years old, the profile is usually that of students who still live with their parents. So, Young people’s motives for maintaining this type of relationship are often beyond their control. (dependence on parents, care responsibilities, completion of studies, etc.). In fact, they usually indicate that they would live with their partner if conditions allowed it.

For adults from 30 years old, LAT couples are a way of sharing intimacy, while enjoying their own autonomy. Therefore, the intention to take the relationship to a more traditional point (wedding or cohabitation) decreases over the years. Furthermore, the duration of relationships is significantly longer than that of young people.

Can a relationship like this last?

There are few studies that have observed these relationships over time. However, members’ intentions regarding the future are often studied.

Some research indicates that between 20-30% of LAT couples remain or intend to remain so in the future.. Apparently, this intention is linked to age, with young people between 25 and 29 years old being the most likely to end up living together and getting married. On the other hand, those over 60 years of age are the ones who most want to maintain the relationship separately.

The length of the relationship also seems to have something to do with it. The intention to marry increases around one or three years into the relationshipwhile in relationships of more than 3 years the intention to continue in the same situation predominates.

In general, regardless of age, Social pressure plays an important role in intentions to continue being LAT or not.. That their family and friends think that they should live together and ask questions or comments about it, makes the members of the couple consider how to do it in future years.

It’s the solution?

In summary, LAT couples decide to maintain this type of relationship for two main reasons: lack of resources or voluntary choice for autonomy. It could also be that it was a choice to try to solve some problems or difficulties. that can arise in coexistence. For example, distribution of tasks or children from previous couples.

It is common that The main advantage found is the conservation of one’s own autonomy and privacy., as well as prevent possible losses (economic, other relationships, materials, etc.). This, clearly, will be determined by the attitude or ideas held towards relationships or marriage.

On the other hand, it can also pose a series of disadvantages, especially for those who have an ambivalent attitude towards LAT relationships. Then, The flexibility of these relationships can generate dissatisfaction or feelings of insecurity because the other has declined by living with one. Or, in general, cohabitation provides more opportunities for intimacy and instrumental and emotional support.

In short, let it be the solution to meet one’s needs or not depends solely on personal values ​​and preferences, and the reasons that led you to make that decision. As it is a phenomenon that is still being studied, there is a lack of data to provide a definitive answer.

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