Adults who have never had a partner

Since it is common in the West for the first romantic and sexual relationships to occur before the age of 20, many are surprised that there are adults who have never had a partner. However, This is a phenomenon that is not as strange as it may seem at first glance..

Unlike other species, in human beings sexuality has more complex connotations. It is not only a survival instinct, but is mediated by a whole set of psychic, cultural and symbolic aspects.. That is why there are adults who have never had a partner and, even so, cannot be called “abnormal.”

There are indications that cases of adults who have never had a partner, although They are not the most common, nor are they so uncommon. It is known that in various social networks there are groups that bring together those who have this condition. Likewise, the BBC newspaper made a publication about it and in return received several testimonies from people who were in this circumstance.

Adults who have never had a partner

Adults who have never had a partner may have a disorder, but this is not necessarily the case. The circumstances surrounding this condition are very varied and are not always due to a psychological problem. In restrictive cultures, for example, celibacy may be a highly valued option.

In addition, It is possible that in certain historical or cultural circumstances the desire to have a partner is inhibited. Something like this is what has happened in 21st century Japan, where it is estimated that around a quarter of people have never had a partner or sex. It is also a social trend.

That said, it must also be stated that In many cases there may be some type of individual limitation or difficulty in establishing romantic relationships. or live sexuality. Not all of them are serious, but they are not realities that should be ignored either.

To have or not to have a partner?

Neither having a partner is healthy one hundred percent of the time, nor does not having one imply a deficit in many cases. From a broad perspective, You can only talk about a difficulty when the person has wanted to have a partner and he has not achieved it. Likewise, also when you flatly refuse that possibility and don’t know why.

A behavior is automatically unhealthy just because most people exhibit it. It is also not automatically harmful when it is very unique. What defines a difficulty in these cases is the inconsistency between the desire and the act, as well as the radical inhibition of behavior without a reason.

There are adults who have never had a partner and feel comfortable with it. It is a conscious decision or one that, in any case, does not cause concern. Still, it must be said that Relationships are a dimension that provides valuable elements for personal evolution. Depriving yourself of them is also giving up enriching experiences.

When to worry?

There is cause for concern when adults who have never had a partner they experience pain about it or have confused feelings about it. This behavior may be the result of psychological circumstances that have not been adequately developed. Sometimes it is a trauma, a phobia or a very precarious relationship with oneself.

The problem is that these difficulties are not always so obvious. Sometimes, what there is is a kind of disinterest in everything related to sexuality., but this is only the facade of the problem. It is very common that behind all this there are deep fears, doubts about one’s own sexuality or traumatic experiences that have not been able to be overcome and manifest as rejection.

Asexuality and aromanticism

Part of destigmatizing the fact that an adult has never had a partner is the recognition of different orientations related to it. Therefore, asexuality and aromanticism should never be ruled out when imagining a reason for these cases. But what are they? Here is a brief description:

Asexuality: lack of sexual attraction towards others. These people show no (or very low) interest in sexual activity.​​​​​​​Aromanticism: They lack the need to attach themselves to other people romantically. They lack the sensations of what is known as falling in love.

Therefore, and given that both are natural conditions and present in the human population, it does not hurt to consider this before judging someone who has never had a partner. Many of them suffer because they believe they are “broken,” so it is important not to put social pressure on others sexually and romantically. Each individual must be free to define and know themselves.

Conclusions

In a relationship, multiple aspects of the human being come into play.. Insecurities, voids and unhealed wounds come to the surface. When a person falls in love, they enter a state of vulnerability that enriches, but at the same time frightens.

Whoever loves also suffers, in one way or another, because that is love, whatever type it may be. The normal thing is that this suffering is not excessive and becomes manageable.

Therefore, venturing into love also requires courage, both to see oneself, face to face, in the mirror, and to open oneself to another and expose oneself to getting hurt because, in the end, the other will not always do what we want them to do. Even so, The couple is also a space for unparalleled maturation.. It provides very great happiness and allows you to grow. Therein lies its magic.

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