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“It’s not about you. The problem is me…”

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Really, the problem is all with me. This cowardice of giving up what I could try again, again and not give up. The problem is with me when we argue and I always want to come out with reason. The problem is with me, when through any carelessness, I overlook details that would make all the difference in our relationship.

The problem is me, who doesn’t give up much because I can’t, can’t or simply don’t want to. The problem is me, who impose limits to make you smile. The problem is me, when you kindly treat me and I come home from work taking the stress out on you. The problem is me, who makes unpleasant and unnecessary comments in front of others.

The problem is completely with me, when you just want to have a nice night by my side and I spend hours on my phone without even looking at you. The problem is me, when you forget to grab the towel or the soap in the bath runs out, and I’m too busy choosing a movie and I pretend not to hear you talk to me.

The problem is me, when you call me in the middle of the afternoon, and I ignore it because I don’t feel like talking or don’t have the patience to listen to you. The problem is me, who doesn’t feel the same way as you do and, sooner or later, I’ve now decided to put an end to this story.

It has nothing to do with you. Maybe it’s my rude way of resolving crises and dealing with problems. The problem is me, who speaks nonsense without thinking, as if there were no language filters. The problem is me, when we’re traveling to some amazing place and I come up with reasons to retort.

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The problem is me, when after an argument, you come after me to solve it as soon as possible, but I still have pride oozing through my pores. The problem is me, when I quickly say goodbye to you saying I’m going to sleep, but actually, I’m getting ready to go out with friends. It’s all my problem when I spoil the moments out of jealousy. For brooding over you for nothing and out of the blue, as if you did me some harm.

The problem is me, when I take time to respond to your urgent messages, when I don’t help your needs. The problem is me, walking hand in hand with you, not knowing where I really want to go. The problem is me, and I swear I’m trying to work it out.

The problem is me, who do not value their qualities and attitudes. The problem is me, who will want someone like you by my side in a while, but you will already be too far from my reach. The problem is, I don’t really know what I want, but I don’t want you.

The problem is me, who doesn’t accept you and I end up holding you in this illusion. The problem is me, I’m not wanting to live a big love affair. The problem is me, I don’t have the passion blooming on my skin like it should be. The problem is me, who can’t make bigger plans with your company. The problem is me, who’s not willing to let go of being single and get into something serious.

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The problem is me, that at this point in the championship, I play defensively. The problem is me, who don’t know where I want to go, but I know that I don’t want to be here. The problem is me, who omit truths that you can’t even imagine. The problem is me, who is in the present, thinking about the past. The problem is me, who did not unlink old contacts. The problem is me, and there is nothing you can do to change this unfortunate reality.

If it’s all the same to me, please don’t ask me to stay where I want to go. You deserve the best, baby. And frankly, I’m not your best option. Learn that whoever wants to, doesn’t leave. insists. persists. What we feel is not reciprocal and I don’t want to blame you for not working out. You did everything in your power, even more than you should or I deserved. You tried. Embrace the cause. He entered the war, faced it and ended up bleeding out.

I didn’t participate in the battles, so I won’t downplay your fight.

In this transitional phase, I would not recommend myself to anyone.

Keep your distance!

Jessica Pellegrini

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