I’m not good at anything: what’s behind this idea?

“I’m not good at anything, no matter what I set my mind to, in the end I always fail at everything.” This type of self-perception is like a persistent shadow that inhabits the psychological universe of many people. It is the voice of low self-esteem, the whisper that annihilates life purposes, projects and even relationships.

The truth is that it would be glorious to always feel good, be 100% sure of ourselves, and perceive ourselves as competent 24/7. However, there are times like this, moments when we stop trusting in our worth, virtues and abilities. The cause? Actually There are many factors that orchestrate this weakening of self-confidence, from past experiences to hyperdemand.

We’ve all been in that territory at some point. In that sphere in which we feel weaker and the ground shakes under our feet. We do not dare to move forward because we are afraid of falling, failing, making a fool of ourselves and taking the wrong path. We know that living is assuming mistakes, but sometimes we label an error as the undeniable sign that we are of no use.

I am not good at anything: what is behind this thought?

Feeling useless, little or not at all skilled is a common experience in human beings. It is because We are our worst judges and juries, because we set very high standards for ourselves and we have been educated to be perfect, effective and talented. Likewise, if you take a look at your social networks, the only thing you will often see is an absolute universe of perfection.

For example, It is common for teenagers to feel early on that they are not good at anything. When they are still in the process of learning and development, some already assume that they will never be as competent, attractive and brilliant as those celebrities they follow on Instagram or TikTok. We live in a society in which those who do not excel in something perceive themselves as a failure.

This phenomenon is explained above all by the social comparison facilitated by media such as social networks. Thus, research work such as those carried out at the University of California affects this very thing. Media like Facebook They provide accessible and close scenarios to observe and compare ourselves with countless people.

This can have a big impact on self-esteem for some people., especially the younger ones. To the point of completely distorting the vision they have of themselves.

When you feel like you don’t stand out… Why is that?

The person who does not perceive himself as competent in anything reinforces a mental narrative mediated by low self-esteem.. We know that. However, what is the root of low self-esteem? That is the key that we must understand and those are the factors that should be taken into account to understand this very common psychological reality.

We have already talked about the first cause: social comparison. We have become accustomed to measuring our worth based on what others are, have and do. Another cause is our education. Authoritarianism, intolerance of error or the desire of some parents to have perfect and unhappy children often inoculates in some people the constant feeling of failure. Of not being good enough as others expect.Often, We look at all our past mistakes without appreciating anything else. We are stuck in that failed sphere. Every contempt from yesterday, fall, closed door or rejection can take its toll on us. Instead of processing these experiences as learning opportunities, we are completely blocked and with damaged self-esteem. Likewise, dealing with a psychological disorder such as depression or anxiety feeds negative thoughts. Also that critical and annihilating vision of oneself. Another factor is the social and relational one. There are people who can project onto us the idea that we are worthless. Sometimes, a harmful emotional relationship can destroy our self-concept.

How can we defuse the idea that we have no talent?

The idea that one is not good at anything is annihilating. We underestimate ourselves because we do not tolerate our failures. Also because we live in a society that deceives us, that makes us believe that there are those who are born perfect and talented…

When talent is actually worked on, when values ​​are not given to us, but are built through effort, self-confidence and self-esteem. Therefore, It’s time to stop feeding that degrading internal dialogue.

We are worth a lot just for being here, just for existing. We are perfect just the way we are, and we are good for more things than we think.

How to regain confidence in yourself when you think you are not good at anything

Avoid social comparison. You are you, others are others. Take control of your thoughts and your self-assessments. Replace some ideas with others (“I think I’m not good for this job” — “how about I try it and see what happens?”). Learn from your mistakes. One failure is not the end of the world. It is a step back to gain greater momentum. Rethink some of your relationships. Maybe there is someone in your life who is affecting your self-esteem.Make a list of everything you are good at and achievements from your past. That person is also you. Train your self-compassion. You are someone who deserves your respect and appreciation. It’s time to talk to yourself better and trust in your worth.Decide how you want to feel about yourself and what you would like to achieve. It’s time to work on it.

To conclude, while it is true that it is appropriate to be aware of those things that we are not good at, let’s avoid taking this idea to the extreme. We all have lights and shadows, we are all fallible and extraordinary at the same time. We are better than we think.

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