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I want to be a mother, but I’m afraid

The fear of becoming mothers can come between many women and their desire to have a child. If you want to know more about this fear and how to overcome it, keep reading!

Times have changed so much that they have even transformed the conception of motherhood, giving way to a good number of myths. and turning the feat into an intimidating process for some women. Even if they want to have a child, they refrain from doing so because the complexity of the challenge overwhelms them.

The good thing is that currently it is you and only you who decides if you want to be a mother or not. We are talking about a great conquest because until relatively recently there was a lot of social pressure on the issue.

The problem is that now some women have gone to the opposite extreme. For them, Having a child stopped being a natural event and became something too complex, which is better to avoid. It is not like this. The only really important thing in all this is that each woman is consistent with her desires.

Making the decision to have a baby is transcendental: it means deciding that from that moment on your heart will also begin to walk outside your body.”.

-Elizabeth Stone-

The fear of motherhood

Experiencing a certain fear of motherhood it is perfectly normal. This is a situation that involves structural changes, both in the body and in the life project. It is also an experience that involves accepting a share of physical and psychological pain.

Now, sometimes, this fear also arises from other different sources. You may have heard stories that had a big impact on you, especially from older women. Until not many decades ago, births occurred in very difficult conditions. There was no adequate preparation on the part of the mothers or they did not receive very complete assistance and attention from the medical staff.

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Some women also make the decision to stop being mothers because they don’t believe they are prepared for it. However, no one really is. One of the realities of life is that we are never sufficiently prepared for what happens to us. Neither to grow nor to separate ourselves from the people we love nor to grow old, etc.

In addition, They may abandon the idea of ​​being mothers because they think life is too difficult, or they feel that they will pass on their anxieties to their child. depressions, etc.. Perhaps they are seeing everything in a very rigid and absolutist way. There is no way that life does not include suffering, deprivation and mistakes. Even so, it also has wonderful paths to be traveled.

Don’t stop being a mother out of fear

Whatever the source of fear, the most important thing is that you do not go against your most genuine desires.. If you really want to have a child, the way to go is not to stop being a mother out of fear, but to introspect to analyze the situation and find possible resistance: material, social or personal.

Where does your fear come from? Is it reasonable or not? Do you really want to be a mother, or does the fear arise precisely from the fact that you don’t want it and you only consider the possibility because you feel pressured by something or someone? Introspection is just one of the actions you can take. You can also find out about the medical services you have access to if you decide to have a child.

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It is important that you know how far your health coverage extends, in what type of centers you will be treated and what professionals you have at your disposal. Also check if your health service offers you psychoprophylactic courses and psychosocial support during pregnancy.

How to overcome the fear of being a mother

The following tips can help you overcome the fear of being a mother.

Fear is normal, especially if you are a first-timer. In fact, fear in mothers is very common, the important thing is that you think more about the positive things and the life you will bring into the world.Share your fears. It is essential to share fears, doubts, anxieties and everything related to pregnancy, this will make you feel calmer.Maintain an optimistic attitude. It is important to maintain a positive mind and an optimistic attitude towards the future.Listen to advice from other mothers. Other mothers will have gone through the process that you are going through, talk to them, communicate your doubts and receive their advice. Be well informed. Many mothers fear that their child may come with an illness. To overcome this fear it is necessary that you inform yourself correctly and know what is good or bad for your baby.Follow the example of other parents. Take as a reference parents who have raised good children and make it your goal to teach your future child the best values.

The fear of being a mother is normal and can happen to any woman. The important thing is to be well informed, receive advice, have the support of other parents and maintain enthusiasm for the baby’s arrival.

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Clarify the desire

It is advisable that to all of the above you add a thorough evaluation of your situation. Do you have the support of your partner? Do you have the support of your family? These are factors to consider before making the decision. Neither will it make you happy to be a mother to please others nor will it make you stop being a mother because others do not see it favorably..

Likewise, evaluate your socioeconomic conditions. You don’t have to be a millionaire to bring a child into the world, but you do need to be able to offer them some stability. Also that you have enough time to dedicate to it.

Once you carry out those basic actions, you will probably feel more confident about what you really want to do. Whether a child is wanted or not usually has consequences beyond the moment. That desire is what often marks the deepest part of your being.. If you want to be a mother, fight to be one in the best way you can. Never ever forget.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Chand, S.P., & Marwaha, R. (2022). Anxiety. StatPearls. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK470361/Conversano, C., Rotondo, A., Lensi, E., Della Vista, O., Arpone, F., & Reda, M.A. (2010 ). Optimism and its impact on mental and physical well-being. Clinical practice and epidemiology in mental health: CP & EMH, 6, 25.

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