“I don’t want to get married?”: tips to tell your partner

“I do not want to get married?”. This is a difficult decision to communicate to the couple. Until just a few decades ago, marriage was seen as a universal goal toward which everyone should aim and as the only valid destiny for those in a relationship. Nowadays, some want to get married, but more and more people choose to remain in a free union.

There are several reasons why someone rejects the idea of ​​marriage. These could be related to personal ideology, such as a lack of religiosity or the desire to live together outside of institutions, for example; Other reasons pertain to the status of the relationship, i.e. consider that the time has not yet come or that the bond is not stable enough.

In any case, it is a necessary decision to share and that It can lead to a difficult and uncomfortable conversation. To address it, this article offers you some keys.

How do I tell my partner that I don’t want to get married?

Social trends regarding marriage have changed greatly in recent times. According to figures shared by macrodata, the marriage rate fell from more than 7% to 3% since the 1970s. Despite this, there is still that social pressure regarding the issue.

For this reason, you may have asked yourself the question: “How do I tell my partner that I don’t want to get married?” In reality, if you know that your romantic partner does want to get married, it is essential treat the matter with sincerity, tact and empathy. For this purpose, it is advisable to pay attention to the following tips.

The decision not to get married could cause uncertainty in your partner about how you feel about them.

Clarify your personal situation

Before telling your partner “I don’t want to get married”, it is essential that you organize your ideas and do an exercise in reflection and introspection. Ask yourself what you think about marriage: do you reject it completely or are you indifferent to the idea? What are the reasons why you don’t want to get married? Is it a temporary or permanent decision? Is this attitude related to your current bond?

Answering these questions will help better understand what you think, want and need, to communicate it clearly. And being completely resistant to marriage is not the same as wanting to wait a few more years. Nor is being convinced that you never want to get married, or having doubts about the state of your current relationship.

With this information you would understand if marriage is completely out of your plans or if there is some element or circumstance that needs to change for you to consider such a commitment. For example, the Journal of Marriage and Family refers to economic circumstances as an influential factor in shaping the decision to marry. Other elements in this aspect are satisfaction with the relationship and age.

Choose the appropriate time

If the other person wants to get married, letting them know that you don’t want to get married should not be taken lightly. It is possible that at the moment she feels disappointed, confused, sad or distressed; You have to find yourself in a safe and intimate space to express yourself. Therefore, wait until you are alone and choose a situation where it is quiet and you have time to talk.

Validate your emotions and desires

Even if your opinions are contrary on this point, it is essential not to see it as a confrontation or power struggle. Try to stay calm and not be defensive when you communicate the news; above all, Take care of your partner’s feelings at this very vulnerable moment.

You can achieve this if you validate their emotions during the process. That is to say, communicates that you understand how important it is for him or her to get married, that you understand and are aware of his motives and that you know that the news may be painful for him. The simple act of giving a name and space to what you feel and welcoming it with empathy will prevent a hurtful confrontation from triggering.

State your reasons and motives

Next, honestly explain why you reject the idea of ​​marriage. Make it clear if this is an irrevocable decision or if it is subject to certain circumstances. Depending on the case, it is possible to ask for time or talk about the need for certain changes before considering marriage. But either way, don’t offer false hope and be as honest as possible.

Reaffirm your feelings

Perhaps your partner takes this refusal as a rejection of him or her or as an indication that you are not happy in the relationship. For this reason, it is essential reaffirm your feelings and commitment to the bondregardless of your opinion regarding marriage.

Depending on your partner’s love language, offer words of affirmation or connect through physical touch. Besides, talks about different alternatives to advance the relationship that do not involve getting married. This is only if it is your desire to progress together and you are involved in the common project; Otherwise, communicate with affection and respect where you are and what you expect in the future.

It is necessary to be tactful and validate the other’s feelings when communicating that you do not want to get married.

I don’t want to get married, but I understand that you do want to.

Finally, understand that by communicating that you do not want to get married, you may establish a turning point in the relationship. Maybe your partner accepts it and is willing to continue the relationship in the same state or understands and is committed to working for the changes you need to modify your opinion.

But also You may decide to end the relationship., because for some people marriage has a strong symbolic meaning and great relevance. If this is the scenario, It is essential to have sufficient maturity to respect the decision of both parties.

Just by holding on to the relationship, the other person does not have to give up their desire to get married, nor do you have to accept an idea that you reject. For this reason, it is advisable to reflect alone, dialogue assertively and respectfully, and make the best decision for both of you.

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