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How to solve the 7 most common family conflicts?

Much of the most frequent family conflicts, and human conflicts in general, derive from the lack of dialogue skills.

The most frequent family conflicts They have to do with situations or processes of change that cannot be assimilated. Likewise, they have to do with negative habits that take root and become behavioral patterns that hinder or make dialogue and interpersonal relationships difficult.

Beyond the reasons why the most frequent family conflicts arise, it is good not to lose sight of the fact that These also constitute an opportunity. The family is the basic social cell and the learning that is derived from it has incalculable value for other dimensions of life.

The bond that unites you to your true family is not that of blood, but rather the respect and joy that you feel for their lives and they for yours.”.

-Richard Bach-

That there are contradictions, disagreements and disagreements is very normal. All human relationships have something of this and the family is no exception. However, It is important to develop and practice strategies to manage these problems and take advantage of the experience. The following are some of the most frequent family conflicts and also some tips to resolve them.

1. Derivatives of the life cycle

There are ages and times in life when people are more likely to have conflictive relationships. with those around them. One of them is adolescence, a stage in which changes happen at an overwhelming speed. In this phase, conflict goes hand in hand with reaffirmation and both are central themes all the time.

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Something similar happens when you pass middle age. to old age. It is a transition that is not always easy and that involves many changes in a person’s life. Sometimes we react to this with irritability and dissatisfaction.

In both cases, what is most needed from the family is understanding. Neither adolescents nor older adults will be right in many cases, but they do require people who are not pointing fingers at them for that, nor demand a balance that they cannot achieve, at least momentarily.

2. Losses

Losses are one of the most frequent sources of family conflict. The death of a family member or someone loved has a very strong impact on their loved ones. This usually generates anger and frustration.

Losses of something significant, such as an important job, a business, an opportunity, etc. also influence. You have to understand that no one can overcome this automatically and that need time to process what happened.

3. Unresolved past problems

Family problems that are not resolved do not simply remain in the past either.. It is very common for them to become latent tensions or resentments, which end up escaping in one way or another: hostility, bad mood, distrust, etc.

Although sometimes it is impossible to find a solution to a problem, at a given moment, it is not a good idea to just turn the page. The best thing to do is to reflect on what happened and find a suitable time to talk about it and make things clear.

4. Lack of definition of roles

This is one of the most frequent family conflicts and is due to There is no clear distinction regarding the role that each person must play within the social group.. It happens when parents end up asking their children for advice, or they are the ones who give the orders, or responsibilities are poorly assigned, etc.

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As a social structure that is, The ideal is for a family to have well-defined roles, particularly those of authority.. Otherwise, the ties will most likely flow amidst a certain anarchy that gives rise to misunderstandings, injustices or confusion.

5. Illness, one of the most frequent family conflicts

The illness of one of the family members is a situation that can generate many conflicts. This occurs particularly when it is a catastrophic or chronic illness and that implies the need for assistance.

These types of situations deserve an open and sincere dialogue. It is important to distribute tasks and assign responsibilities, in the most equitable way possible. In this way, quality care will be provided to the sick person and no one will be overworked.

6. Disparate attention

Disparate attention generates family conflicts because in many cases becomes the basis of an unjust and discriminatory structure. A home is a home because each of the members has an indisputable place in that human group.

It is true that there will never be total equity, but there must be a firm will to be fair to everyone. Some family members will be bright and successful; others, not so much. Even so, The basis of family ties is love and acceptance. This should never be questioned.

7. Aggression and lack of respect

Aggression is not only the root of the most frequent family conflicts, but of conflicts of all kinds. Abuse is unacceptableat least in the life of a person who is interested in preserving mental health.

That there are moments of aggression is perfectly normal. The problem appears when this becomes a pattern and becomes frequent. The result is usually a chain of wounds and ruptures that sometimes never heal.

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For a family, and any human group, to function constructively, You should never cross the border of disrespect. Doing this significantly deteriorates ties and causes very deep emotional effects. It is difficult for a relationship to be the same again after a disrespectful act.

The most frequent family conflicts, and the not so frequent ones, can be resolved by increasing the capacity for dialogue. This includes active listening, assertiveness and affection. Solving family problems enriches life and prepares us to have better relationships with the entire society.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Albuquerque, J.P. (2018). Family, family conflicts and mediation. Reus Editorial.

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