The importance of understanding teenage romance

Many jokes are made about teenage romance and its intensity through the prism of adulthood. However, it is important not to deceive ourselves: haven’t we all starred in some drama of throwing ourselves into bed crying, like in a cheap movie?

It is easy to look back and see how exaggerated the experiences of our teenage years were.. However, let’s think about the particularities of the brain in this era, so marked by facing for the first time the miseries of adult life, and helping those who go through it.

Possibly, one of the most particular areas at this time is the romantic one. Love is complex, but it is necessary to learn from experience so that it stops being complicated. Let’s look at this issue in detail.

Characteristics of teenage romance

Love, even with its universal and positive nature, is still a feeling that needs emotional management. Although it is present in the lives of almost all people, it begins as a family and among peers. It is in adolescence when romantic love becomes a reality and the forms and roles that constitute it are discovered.

The intensity of teenage romance is often unique.

1. Intensity regulated by hormones

Yes, during adolescence hormones begin to function that alter behavior and subjective perceptions of the world. However, this does not mean that what you feel is not real. In fact, romance takes on an intensity that is unlikely to be repeated in other stages of life, so it is normal for reactions and decisions to be more extreme.

2. The role of interoception

Interoception is the perception of the internal state of the organism, that is, feeling that your viscera are moving or that your heart is beating faster. In adolescence, new interoceptive sensations are added, cLike the classic butterfly in the belly when seeing the subject of romantic interest.

Teenagers also have to deal with these new sensations. Although it may not seem important, feeling blush for the first time is something that is disconcerting and requires introspection.

3. Confusing love with infatuation

There are few people who maintain a relationship with their first partner from adolescence, and manage to create a healthy relationship of companionate love. Having never felt the latter (and thanks to the constant bombardment of myths about romantic love), It is easy to call that intense feeling of attraction love..

This is not necessarily bad, since having several relationships during adolescence is a preparation to be able to play this role healthily.

4. The duel

Grieving after a breakup is the worst part of teenage romance. Just as falling in love can cloud the senses, the feeling of emptiness can be just as intense. Frequently, the teenager feels like he is drowning without that element that has been his oxygen to discover a lot of new sensations.

Done poorly, this grief produces intense emotional pain that is capable of even affecting health. of the adolescent. It is not uncommon to find that they lose their appetite, show depressive symptoms, become irritable, etc.

How to help manage teenage romance?

Maybe you want to help someone who is going through this life stage. On the one hand, you know that it is a turbulent time, but you are also sure that it will end and, hopefully, it will get better.. But how do you convey it to someone who believes that the pain of your breakup will last forever? We give you some ideas.

1. Validate your emotions

This is a fundamental point, perhaps the most fundamental. What that person feels is real and valid and they must learn to manage it. Trying to minimize or downplay that pain is building a communication barrier. and create feelings of rejection and loneliness in the adolescent.

The same also happens with positive emotions. You will see that the teenager is absorbed by his feelings, that he spends hours chatting and watching social networks, or that he goes out very often with that person. Constantly banning, mocking, or nagging him will only lead to rebellious opposition.

2. Help him protect his self-esteem

The adolescent’s self-esteem, at a time when they are discovering their own identity, is fragile and complex to keep afloat. Romance is one of the most destructive hammers to self-esteem at this time. Never forget that a breakup or a heartbreak does not mean that you have no value as a person.

Adolescent self-esteem is fragile, which is why it is one of the most important aspects to take care of.

3. Remind him of the permanence of certain reference points

As we said, teenage romance is absorbing and many people end up regretting certain decisions they made and with which the bond prevailed. They abandoned their studies, hobbies or missed opportunities.

That’s why, We adults often entrust ourselves with the task of putting a pause on that rollercoaster of emotions. that they are living and that invite almost everything except a global reflection on certain decisions and their future implications.

Accompanying a teenager during this period is not easy, especially if you are his or her father or mother and you have to do it from an asymmetrical position, unlike friends. The last general recommendation that we can make is that you continue applying affection, honesty and unconditionality to the quality of the company that you offer them at this time.

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