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Does positive jealousy exist?

Jealousy is part of our human condition. There are ancient references to them and they have always been considered one of the forces with the greatest destructive power. In biblical mythology, it is jealousy that breaks the brotherly relationship between Cain and Abel, the first brothers in religious history.

In Greek mythology, a germ of jealousy is what ends up unleashing the Trojan War. Likewise, in all cultures there is some myth or legend referring to jealousy in its multiple facets. Sometimes they manifest as envy sometimes as excessive suspicion and apprehension. In general, they have been considered a negative emotion that should therefore be avoided.

Jealousy is generated between those who love each other well, from the air that passes by, from the sun that touches and even from the ground that is stepped on.”.

-Miguel de Cervantes-

It’s hard to think of any human being who hasn’t felt jealous at some point. It is almost impossible to go through life without having experienced the sting of envy or the storm of romantic suspicions. Sometimes very intensely and other times not so much. They assume fear to lose what is loved or the fear of suffering a narcissistic wound. It’s not pleasant to feel them.

Couples are jealous. Siblings, friends and colleagues are jealous of each other. Despite the bad reputation of this emotional reaction, it is worth asking a question: Could jealousy have something positive or…. Where is the positive part that every negative emotion can have in this case? ? The truth is that there are times when jealousy is a manifestation of mental health. The ones we describe below could be good examples of this.

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Jealousy is positive as a warning

There are times when another person has one of their goals to conquer your partner. In theory, you shouldn’t feel insecure in those cases, since this only means that you distrust yourself and your relationship. However, in practice, it is very difficult not to feel some fear in these circumstances. In that case, jealousy acts as a warning signal..

There are those who take advantage of a bad moment in the couple or some weakness in the relationship. Sometimes they are motivated by a genuine attraction for the person who is already committed. At other times they simply want to prove themselves or others that they can take away something loved or take over a commitment that now belongs to you. Feeling jealous in these cases is perfectly understandable and healthy. Calls you to wake up your alerts to defend your ground and your affections.

We can all lose a person or an object due to carelessness, the fact is that jealousy would point out this possibility to us and give us the necessary energy to put in place the means to prevent this loss.

Think that it is not strange that you have something that others may want. Neither does that make you bad nor does it make you the victim of a plot. You could simply hold a position or have some kind of privilege that unleashes the greed of others.

The negative thing is that someone tries to take away what belongs to you.. If you have objective evidence that this happens, it is obvious that jealousy appears. In this case they reflect an attitude of care with what you consider your own and that is threatened in some circumstance. They are positive because they call you to defend what is yours.

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When you are not well and someone brags about their well-being

This is a situation that reflects immaturity, but it is still irritating. It happens when you’re going through a rough patch and someone decides to brag about their successes in front of you.. It is normal that in these circumstances it is difficult for you to rejoice in the triumphs of others.

There is a difference between sharing successes and bragging about them. That difference is what can make you uncomfortable.. Jealousy in this case is an obvious response to an attitude that you find offensive. No one has an obligation to stop feeling happy just because you are not well, but it is also not considered for someone to emphasize something that could make you uncomfortable. It is, in any case, a feeling that you should not give much importance to. Don’t feed it, it’s not worth it. Don’t feel bad about experiencing it either: it’s more than human.

When they intentionally ignore you

This can happen with your partner, with your family or with any space with which you interact frequently. This is a situation in which you perceive that they are ignoring your feelings or not giving them the value they deserve.. For example, when your partner mentions how attractive another person is. Or when in teamwork they only notice what your colleagues do, but not you.

In that case, jealousy is a discomfort that arises because you feel that you are undervalued. There is a conflict, because you need to be given your place, to claim your value. Don’t ignore that discomfort, but don’t magnify it either.. Simply jealousy can tell you why you don’t feel comfortable with that treatment.

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The important thing in all cases is Do not allow jealousy to grow unnecessarily, much less take control of your behavior.. This could hurt you a lot. Although they are a positive symptom in many circumstances, do not forget that they can also become your worst enemy if you do not know how to manage them.

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