I don’t want lies that console, I want the truth even if it hurts

I don’t like lies that comfort, neither half truths nor even complete falsehoods. I prefer the truth, even if it hurts. Even if it breaks my heart, because at least I will be free to take the path I want and heal my wounds with time.

As children, we are usually taught to always tell the truth. Now, in the end, there always comes a time when we make the first use of lies: to avoid punishment, to achieve a goal, to adapt to a situation…

It is clear that all of us have made use of these “half-truths” on some occasion. However, if there is one thing that is clear to us, it is that There are different degrees of lies and the nature of many depends on the situation in which we find ourselves.. It’s okay if when they ask us “how are we” we respond with a “superbly”. Although it is a lie and we are going through a bad time, we understand that it is a simple formalism with no major relevance.

Falsehood acquires its most negative nuance if with it we harm those around us. There are those who use lies because they fear that the truth will cause too much pain. or that the consequences affect you in an unwanted way.

Lies take prisoners and condemns us to maintain empty, false and inauthentic lives. All of us, without a doubt, are hurt by those behaviors, those attitudes of those who say they love us but put a veil in our eyes while they repeat to us that everything is fine. Nothing happens…

We invite you to reflect on it.

White lies will never be acceptable

A white lie or a lie that seeks to offer comfort will never be tolerable. None of us have the right to act so paternalistically as to think that the other person is not “valid” or not worthy of knowing the truth.

If you have ever been lied to What will have accumulated inside you is an uncomfortable amalgam of anger, incomprehension and sadness.

The disappointment caused does not always come from the fact that they have hidden a reality from us, what is sometimes frustrating is that they have thought that we did not “deserve” to know it.

White lies actually hide a lack of personal maturity on the part of the person who tells them, thereby manifesting a lack of empathy and social skills. Maintaining a relationship, a bond, whether family, friendship or as a couple, implies maintaining essential ethical codes: respect, understanding and emotional integrity with oneself and with the other person. .Lying disqualifies those who practice it and humiliates those who receive it.. It is a bond destined to cause suffering and disappointment because, believe it or not, falsehoods, like the morning sun, always end up appearing.

There are those who say that it is impossible to practice that “ultimate sincerity” that silences nothing and reveals everything.. We would be talking about that kind of “sincericide” that equates personal opinions with absolute truths. Thus, it manifests them without any type of filter and regardless of the damage they may cause.

It’s something simpler: that my truth sets you free, that my sincerity allows you to grow taking the direction you want, because in our relationship there is no room for lies or silences that hide realities.

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The truth hurts once, the lie always hurts when you remember it.

They say that the truth hurts, that lies kill and that doubt makes you desperate. They are all drives, human emotions that we have experienced firsthand. Nobody is immune to them.

We deserve to establish sincere relationships based on respect and recognition. While it is true that we also have the right to our personal spaces, our secrets or intimacies, Lying will never go hand in hand with a conscious and mature relationship.

Why do we lie?

At this point, you may well be wondering why we use it. These are the main explanations:

To avoid a result we do not want (a negative reaction from our environment when telling the truth, causing pain, being left alone…)To adapt to an environment that we consider threatening or complex (think, for example, of our teenagers and their need to lie in some way to integrate into a group)To achieve a goal (lying on your resume to get a job, lying to a potential partner to win her over…)

We have experienced all of these behaviors on some occasion, in the first or second person. However, the most important thing in all this lies not only in telling the truth, but also in knowing how to receive it:

There are people who prefer to live in ignorance. The maxims of: not knowing so as not to suffer, not seeing so as not to cry…Whoever prefers to live a lie is because they are afraid of assuming the truth and do not know how to manage a difficult situation. In these cases, “turning a deaf ear” emerges as a defense mechanism with which to avoid facing the problem.

Keep in mind that sincerity is the most important value if you want to undertake a life project with another person. So that, Always demand the truth because it will be the only way to build that relationship with firmness and integrity.

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Images courtesy of Amy Judd