If you can’t fall in love, you may be a victim of counterdependence.

Apparently, 20% of single people have never really been in love. The number may not seem high, but if you know five single people, you probably know at least one who has never found love. Some of these people “really don’t need romance,” as they often claim. But for others, the reason may go deeper than simply not having someone good enough around.

we, from awesome.club, we researched a little-known condition that prevents some individuals from falling in love and building strong intimate relationships. And everything we discovered is here in this post. Check out!

Psychologists cite several possible reasons for this picture. For example: the person may suffer from low self-esteem. In this case, she doesn’t believe that anyone is capable of loving her, which prevents her from loving someone too.

Another reason for this could be perfectionism.. Perhaps you have in your mind an ideal image of what your partner should be like, without giving anyone who doesn’t fit that projection a chance. High expectations can keep you from falling in love with someone who is “not good enough”.

But there’s something else that could be affecting you without you even realizing it: the fear of intimacy, often called “counterdependence”.

Signs of counterdependence often include:

Having difficulty approaching people; Push away those who try to get too close; Being anxious or wanting to run away from intimate relationships; Feeling a constant fear of making mistakes; Exaggerating in the pursuit of perfection; Stop asking others for help; Always keep yourself busy, with no time to do anything.

People like that are usually very reserved: they are people who demand a lot of personal space and who hate having it invaded by others. All for fear of showing vulnerability or weakness.

However, at first glance they seem “normal”. They pass the image of being confident, successful and independent, striving to convince everyone that they have these characteristics. We’re talking about those who show they don’t need anyone, although that’s not exactly true. Inside, they are often insecure, needy, and often fail in relationships.

Like most psychological problems, this one also has its origins in childhood. These people may have, in the past, revealed their weaknesses, but they were ignored or even ridiculed. In such cases, children learn that they must always appear strong and independent. The most common cause of counterdependent behavior is lack of emotional attachment to parents or child abuse (whether physical or emotional).

Therefore, we can say that children in such situations learn to associate closeness with rejection and pain. Trauma teaches them that it’s not safe to trust anyone. As they grow up, they develop a fear of approaching others and opening up. Romantic relationships are all about intimacy, and counterdependent people avoid them to prevent attachment, always pushing away those who “overdo it” in closeness.

There are those who feel good even if they don’t allow themselves to live relationships, preferring to focus on their career or other aspects of life. However, there are many people who would like to live love stories, but cannot fight their own counterdependence. Here are some tips that may be helpful in combating the problem.

Learn more about yourself. Read books, psychology articles, reflect on questions, memories and feelings. The first step is to understand and accept the problem. Then you can work on solving it.

Look for a support group. You can try to overcome the problem on your own. Try talking honestly about your feelings and opening up to others. This task will be easier if you are among those who have the same problem. A good idea might be to find a support group so you can feel more secure and test your limits.

Go for professional help. If you have difficulty handling the situation on your own, look for an expert. Talk about your problem so the professional can get to the heart of the matter. Get rid of the emotions you are repressing and open your heart!

Do you find it easy to talk about your own feelings? Leave a comment with your opinion on the subject covered in this post, we would love to hear more from you!