My partner has asked me for time to think, what should I do?

“My partner has asked me for time… Is it the end? What I can do?”. Few phrases are more feared than the classic I need time or I need space. Almost in the second we glimpse in our minds the inevitable: be careful! We have reached a delicate moment. Then we can panic and all the alarms go off in our brain. However… are these types of turning points really the end?

First thing: each couple and each person is a world. We all have circumstances that, at a given moment, can lead us to act in a certain way. Thus, when someone expresses a need or a certain decision we must respect it, but it is also important to understand the background, something that is often not expressed in words. Communication and good interpretation of signals will have a lot to say.

Needing time to rethink your relationship often means longing for your own space to see in perspective where your relationship stands. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes, valuable decisions can be made that serve to improve that emotional bond.

My partner has asked me for time to think about what could be the cause?

When my partner has asked me for time to think, it is common for me—after my heart to sink—to ask him what’s going on.. «Have you stopped loving me? Are you thinking about leaving the relationship? Are you overwhelmed?… These are usually the questions that most often arise in the midst of these distressing contexts.

There are those who think that, in fact, asking for time is little more than a euphemism, an unskillful resource to end that emotional bond without saying it openly and sincerely. However, we insist. There may be other motivators that we should consider. Likewise, there is another fact. If we are really facing a breakup, there is prior evidence that should have put us on notice.

Research work such as those carried out at Princeton University tells us that Before these time-space demands arise, the person always gives clues up to 3 months before that the relationship is not going well. That is to say, there are reactions that do not always have to take us by surprise. Let’s analyze, therefore, those causes that may be behind the fact that they ask us for time to think.

Time for yourself, when everything surpasses us

There are complicated times when almost any area of ​​our life overwhelms us: work, economy, relationship… In reality, what is needed at such moments is to clarify one’s own situation in the world. Where am I at? Am I happy with what I have? What should I do to feel better?

When the relationship has gone too fast

When my partner has asked me for time to think, perhaps it is because we have moved too quickly in our relationship.. This is another aspect that we must consider. You may have made hasty decisions and the other person may need to take a step back.. That doesn’t mean I want to end that bond, but yes, don’t burn through stages in such a hurry.

Fear of compromise

Insecurity when it comes to maintaining a serious and responsible commitment to someone is another variable to consider. Not everyone is ready or wants a stable relationship.. Perhaps your partner has reached that halfway point where he is forced to make a firm decision. Do I commit 100% or do I return to my comfort zone and regain my autonomy again?

My partner has asked me for time: heartbreak and fear of telling the truth

It is unavoidable. We lack studies to know what percentage of cases end in a breakup when one person asks the other for time. However, it is evident that One factor that we must consider is that our partner has lost enthusiasm, love and the desire to continue fighting for that relationship.

What should we do in these cases?

What should I do if my partner has asked me for time to think? How to act when the other person needs to get away for a certain amount of time? It is evident that, in these cases, the most important thing is to know what the other person feels and what has mediated that decision. Good communication is the best tool in these cases.

Research work, such as those carried out at the University of Georgia, reminds us that knowing how to communicate, knowing how to dialogue, understanding and promoting this competence mediates the couple’s satisfaction. It is advisable, therefore, to find the right moment and speak in an empathetic as well as assertive manner..

Likewise, it is also advisable to take into account the following.

Let’s respect our partner’s decision

Let’s avoid becoming pursuers and pursued, figures who long to retain the couple while they are there, claiming time and space.. Let’s maintain dignity. Accepting the other’s decision after having had that previous conversation is always the best decision.

Clarify how long that distance will last (we cannot wait infinitely)

If my partner has asked me for time to think, it is good to draw up a management plan for this request that will awaken so many ghosts.. Doing so is the starting point to better manage the situation, knowing that there will come a time when we will know what the other person has decided: whether or not to continue with the relationship.

We cannot wait infinitely. If weeks, months pass and he simply moves away, we have the right to try to find a final resolution to that waiting situation..

Also take the opportunity to think about your relationship.

Last, but not least, there is another aspect that is good to take into account. If our partner asks us for time and space to think, we can do the same. Let’s reflect on that bond, assess how we see ourselves in that emotional scenario and what we want to be new or maintained in a possible new scenario.

Moments of crisis are good opportunities to meditate on things that perhaps we had not taken into account until that moment. Maybe we will come out stronger as a couple or maybe it is time to make other decisions..

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