10 practical couples therapy exercises that you can also apply

Just as as individuals we go through different stages, something similar also happens to most couples. The situations experienced with the other person are not always easy; What’s more, frequently occur in marital crises. In such a situation, going to couples therapy can be an excellent way to find a solution.

The difficulties treated in couples therapy are multiple, but we could group them into two main axes. On the one hand, there are couples who have become estranged.. Their problems are usually related to having few interests in common.

They also do not spend much time together and their intimacy is reduced or non-existent. It is true that they do not usually have big arguments, but far from it being because of the harmony that the two may have between them, it is because there are very few fields in which they can potentially collide.

On the other hand, they are couples in which the conflict is very close to the surface. His problems have more to do with frequent arguments in a very destructive tone. There are many personal attacks, put-downs and a defensive attitude towards any accusation.

The reasons for disagreement can be about very deep topics, but on many occasions it is also argued over trifles. Understandably, not all couples follow the same pattern. Depending on the life stage you are experiencing as individuals and as a couple, relationship problems will manifest in one way or another.

When conflicts in a couple are continuous, couples therapy can help.

Practical exercises in couples therapy

In this article, we want to show you some of the exercises that are most prescribed to couples when they go to therapy to improve their relationship. They are in no way a substitute for therapy, but knowing them can help you improve your relationship if you are going through a crisis situation. Let’s look at some of them.

1. Positive radars

This first exercise consists of understanding that there are two types of radars, positive and negative. The important thing is that we focus on the positive ones, which are the ones that capture the most pleasant and pleasant situations.

The objective is for the couple to activate it and detect details that in many cases go unnoticed: a positive comment, a detail from the other person or how good the new hairstyle suits them.

This exercise is very useful because it changes our point of view and We go from focusing on everything that bothers us about others to seeing what we do like.

2. The first fifteen minutes

This task can be related to the previous one or practiced independently. It consists of the couple spending the first fifteen minutes they are together after returning home to observe every positive aspect of the other.

It can be, for example, something that the other person says and we like or an action for which we feel grateful. The second part of the exercise involves reacting positively to itin this way we increase positive interactions.

3. The album of good times

This activity is very suitable for couples who have been together for a long time. It consists of collecting photographs of the most special moments shared and creating a photo album with them.

To improve the experience, you can write next to each photograph a phrase that reflects the emotion that that memory provokes. This will encourage keeping positive aspects of the other member of the couple in mind.

4. The surprise

In this case, Each member of the couple has to prepare a surprise for the other once a week or as often as agreed. The surprise has to be something that we know the other person especially enjoys, otherwise it can be counterproductive.

This exercise is very suitable for couples who are very immersed in routine. It allows you to increase empathy towards others and brings creativity into play, since the idea is to change surprises each time.

5. The post-it task

This task consists of leave a post-it with a positive message addressed to the other person in some inconspicuous place, but that the other person can find. For example, in a nightstand drawer, under your pillow, next to your breakfast cereal, or inside your purse.

Several post-its a week are more than enough, it is not necessary to overdo it. It is interesting that the messages change and are positive but at the same time realistic.

6. The day of love

This exercise consists of one day a week the members of the couple behave in a loving, respectful and kind manner with your spouse, regardless of what happens. It is especially suitable for couples who argue excessively.

One or both partners may not feel like showing that kindness, but it is enough to behave more kindly, you don’t have to force the emotion if you don’t feel it. The couple can agree whether they will behave that way on the same day of the week or do it on a surprise day.

7. Two praises for every criticism

Every time one of the members of the couple is going to criticize an attitude of the other member, they must first make two positive comments about that person. As time progresses, those two praises can become three, four or five for every criticism issued.

This activity is especially Aimed at couples who constantly blame each other. It is a way to stop the disqualifications and to focus on positive aspects of the other person.

8. One percent right

This exercise consists of every time the couple disagrees, each member has to look at the part of the other that is right. That percentage must be at least one percent.

A task of this type helps to make the perspective of each member of the couple more flexible. In addition, it helps to empathize better with the other person.

9. Time out in couples therapy

This action is very useful when couples argue regularly. It consists of when one of the two members of the couple detects that the argument is getting worse, Make the T sign with your hands and immediately leave the room where they are.

When both partners are calmer, they can talk again, but first they have to recognize at least one percent of the other member of the couple’s right. If the conversation escalates again, the procedure is repeated.

10. The celebration within couples therapy

This act may be a form of celebrate progress in the relationship or celebrate some important goal achieved together. It can be done by going to dinner, spending a weekend away, or returning to the place where the couple met.

If the couple has gone through bad times and they have been overcome in part thanks to the help of other people, they can also be included in the celebration. You can have, for example, a family meal or a celebration with those closest to you.

Celebrating a success together or overcoming a difficulty helps strengthen the bond.

Commitment and perseverance

As we have mentioned, these exercises are not a substitute for any couples therapy, but they do They can help improve your interaction with your spouse if you are experiencing a crisis. Of course, keep in mind that practicing one of these exercises occasionally will not have a great impact on your relationship.

The key, as on so many other occasions, is not only to find ways to think and act differently, but especially to know how to reproduce them over time. We are what we do repeatedly, not a sporadic day.

In case you try these or other exercises as a couple and don’t get results, It is best to consult with a therapist specializing in couples therapy.. You may have some reluctance to explain your difficulties and intimacies to another person, it is common. However, a point of view outside your own from a specialized professional is often what can help resolve the situation.

You might be interested…