Deflection in the avoidance defense mechanism

Emotions accompany us from birth, they are our guide and compass in the world, they indicate what to do and how to proceed. However, many times they are so uncomfortable and intolerable that all kinds of mechanisms are put in place to avoid coming into contact with them. This is the case of deflection.

Not tolerating silence in a social gathering, avoiding eye contact or talking incessantly when you are with others are evidence of this mechanism. All these actions that seem to have no reason or purpose, in reality They are the shield that you put between you and reality, with the aim of diverting the unpleasant sensations that confront you.

So that you better understand why these situations occur and what consequences this defense method has, continue reading.

Deflection: a defense mechanism from Gestalt therapy

From Gestalt, a theory that Dr. Fritz Perls refers to in his book The Gestalt Approach and Therapy Witnessesit is assumed that People have a healthy balance between contact and withdrawal from the environment.. That is, being able to connect (to satisfy our needs) and return to the point of origin (when they are already satisfied).

From a “primitive” point of view, it is natural to go out into the middle to look for food if one is hungry, as well as to retreat once satisfied. But given that human beings are much more complex, it is possible that this dynamic can be seen as knowing how to approach others in search of support or socialization and knowing how to withdraw to enjoy solitude.

Unfortunately, many people have difficulties in some of these points and this is when defense mechanisms arise. If it is difficult to connect or withdraw, certain strategies are developed that make situations more bearable. And, although at the time we learned them they were useful, today they are no longer useful, they only limit us and keep us from a full life.

So, what is deflection as a defense mechanism?

Deflection is a mechanism implemented by those people who find it difficult to come into contact with others, with the environment or with their own emotions. What they do is avoid or evade discomfort in different ways. The goal is to cool the experience, so that such contact is not so direct or intense.

It is understandable that, for many, emotions such as sadness, fear, shame, anger or vulnerability are quite uncomfortable and unpleasant. So, By not knowing how to face or manage reality, the option is to divert it.

What does deflection look like on a day-to-day basis?

It is likely that you activated this defense mechanism on more than one occasion. To check this, pay attention to the following examples and see if you are deflecting:

In uncomfortable situations you get a nervous laugh which helps you not to get in touch with what you really feel. When someone asks you about a topic that is painful for you, you respond with “fine, everything is fine” and You change the subject quickly.You opt for speak very abstractly instead of being concrete. Or talking about the past when what is relevant at the moment is the present.You avoid eye contact with a person because this makes you uncomfortable, whether it is someone unknown or intimidating, whether it is a tense situation or you feel nervous. When telling or sharing experiences that are painful for you, you do so with a smile, in a tone of humor or using irony or sarcasm. You pretend that the situation does not affect you.You can’t stand silences in a conversation and, without realizing it, you begin a tireless verbosity on any topic. Speaking so quickly and intensely helps prevent you from being authentic in what you say and how you behave. Sometimes, you find it difficult to listen to others and you don’t know how to do it. If someone shares an intimate experience with you or confronts you with a request that you don’t like, you save the scene with a “no big deal” or “don’t worry”, preventing the other from going deeper and the conversation continuing along those lines.

What other behaviors is deflection related to?

It is important to understand that Defense mechanisms are not negative in themselves. In fact, they fulfill a function and are present in all human beings; We use them on many occasions. The problem arises when abusing them, because this limits or harms.

Those who resort to this mechanism most frequently reach the point of making it part of their personality. And perhaps it is because, at the time of acquiring or developing it, they did not have other strategies.

No person likes to connect with negative emotions, but in childhood – review SAGEOpen– they have emotional support and education, if they are taught to deal with such emotions, if they are offered more adaptive strategies, they will not need to “defend themselves” with this avoidance method.

Besides, deflection is not the only defense mechanism. Perls, creator of Gestalt therapy, proposed up to five types, including:

Projection.Confluence.Retroflexion.Introjection.

How to treat a person who deflects?

In reality, deflection is not always negative nor does it have to be eradicated. The truth is that it helps people to be diplomatic, to reconcile and maintain harmony in the environment when required. However, if used excessively or rigidly it leads to disconnection from the present, from sensations and from others; preventing us from being authentic and living reality as it is.

To treat a person who deflects and help him, it is pertinent offer you the emotional support that you did not receive at the time, which prompted him to evade. Perhaps in childhood, when expressing his emotions, being vulnerable or authentic, he did not obtain the expected response from the environment and this was the beginning of his deflection.

Now offering a safe space that promotes and encourages reconnection with the present, reality, sensations and emotions, We allow you to resume and heal that process that was interrupted. And this is the main objective pursued in psychotherapy.

Deflecting should not become a habit

In short, deflection is one of the different ways used without being conscious, to manage a reality that surpasses us and avoid connecting with unpleasant sensations, stimuli or impulses. Although it is sometimes normal and useful, it is important that it does not become the usual way of proceeding, as it will lead to dissatisfaction, frustration and burnout.

If you feel reflected in all of the above, consider seeking professional support to acquire tools that help manage your emotional world in a better way.

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