I am me, my circumstance and my decisions define me

Our circumstances, those external factors that determine our social settings, also shape our identity. However, we are obliged to make appropriate decisions to never lose our feeling of control.

The title of this article is a nod to the famous quote by the Spanish philosopher, José Ortega y Gasset. In a very summary way, he thought that the union of “I” and circumstance was indissoluble, that it was impossible to understand one without the other.

Thus, to a large extent The product of our decisions is conditioned by us and our decisions, but also by the particularities of the time and place.

For this reason, when the philosopher stated that ” I am me and my circumstance; If I don’t save her, I won’t save myself.” It referred to the strength of said union. The one that exists between who we are and what surrounds us. That is to say, Each of us is, whether we like it or not, conditioned by the limitations and freedoms that the environment provides us.

We must therefore learn to move between these paths with their barbed wire to build our life.to extract an adequate opportunity from each circumstance.

“I don’t compete with anyone. I run my own race. I have no desire to play at being better than anyone else, in any way, shape or form. I only aspire to improve, to be better than I was before. That’s how I am. And I am free”

-Mónica Fuentes Postigo-

Circumstance: ‘what is around’

The word circumstance It includes a much broader framework than we think: the family, society, culture, a specific body with its physical and psychological characteristics, personality and character, etc. The “I”, in fact, is formed by understanding its own circumstance and giving it an explanation linked to that of others.

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Our identity, therefore, as revealed by a study by the State University of New York at Cortland, It is erected by that interaction between our cognitive processes and the external factors to which we give meaning and that, in one way or another, always influence us.

The circumstance, that environment that contains us, is flexible and moldable in many aspects: Once we accept what is around us, we are given the freedom to focus decisions towards a present that fulfills us and a future that enriches us.

In this way, our experiences are shaped and our actions turn towards the interests, desires and dreams we have. At that moment, Circumstances and decisions define us and place us before the world and with respect to others..

The positive and negative of the circumstance

The circumstances, we know, are not perfect and the right environment does not always surround us for everything to go as we would like. Often, we have to decide with millions of adversities against us, and other times it seems that everything flows and that the decision is clear.

However, In either case, we will end up deciding and saving the circumstance itself. After all, as Viktor Frankl, father of logotherapy, pointed out to us, happiness must be followed and built with firm purposes. Even beyond the context itself.

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is nothing more than tenacity. Fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.”

-Amelia Earhart-

In this sense, We know that we have good and bad moments and that they are equally necessary for us to feel stability.: It is beneficial to remember that joy and sadness travel on the same train. Even when fear or sadness blocks us and makes it difficult for us to move, we are obliged to continue: even not deciding is making a decision.

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Decision is also not to take it

Any situation, stage or moment that we live involves decisions and as such, we are its product.. From having a coffee in the middle of the afternoon to the time we set the alarm to get up. These seem like insignificant actions and yet they can mark the rest of our day.

The same thing happens with the decisions that we believe are important: it is not good to prolong the moment of making them, but It is appropriate to ask the right questions, give yourself the necessary answers and be brave to face them.: Accepting responsibilities and knowing how to listen to yourself are two important keys.

Only When we have clear goals and break them down into daily objectives, we will be sure that no one will make the decision in our place. We may make mistakes and it is okay to do so, but we will undoubtedly have the satisfaction of being the owners of those mistakes. In a way, beauty has to do with the absence of a script that points the right direction.

Let’s reflect on it. Let us not limit ourselves to being mere victims of our own circumstances. Let’s take control to the extent possible and build our paths, our future, happiness.