Do you know what the Proust Questionnaire is?

The Proust Questionnaire is an old parlor game. A kind of test to know the way a person thinks and feelsthrough ingenious questions for which there may also be answers full of imagination.

It became popular in the world thanks to The famous writer Marcel Proust was very fond of this instrument. He answered it several times throughout his life and always showed off his creativity in doing so.. That is why it took its name and that is how it is known in the world today. It has been applied to great people, but anyone can answer it. An instrument that is halfway between play and personal analysis.

It is typically made up of thirty questions and has several versions. Next we present the one applied by Roberto Bolaño, the great Chilean writer who surprised with his unexpected responses.

What is your own defect that you most deplore?
I am a person full of defects and they are all deplorable.

What is the defect that you most deplore in others?
Intransigence, arrogance, intolerance.

What is your most common mental state?
On the borders of idiocy, like almost all human beings.

How would you like to die?
Making love. (Actually, anyone would like to die like this.)

If after death you must return to Earth, what person or thing would you return as?
A hummingbird, which is the smallest of birds and whose weight, sometimes, does not reach two grams. The table of a Swiss writer. A reptile from the Sonoran Desert.

And if you could choose a fictional character, which one would you choose?
Super Mouse. Bugs Bunny. Speedy González.

What is your greatest extravagance?
My large collection of tabletop wargames and my small collection of computer wargames.

On what occasions does he lie?
When I talk about abstract painting. When I talk about metaphysical poetry.

What living person inspires you most contempt?
There are many and I am too old to establish a ranking.

What living person do you admire?
I admire the mothers and grandmothers of the Plaza de Mayo. To people like them.

What words or phrases do you use the most?
“Fuck” and “cunt.”

What is your idea of ​​perfect happiness?
My imperfect happiness: being with my son and that he is well. Perfect happiness, or its pursuit, engenders immobility or concentration camps.

What is your biggest fear?
Anything that could harm my son.

What is your biggest regret?
There are many of them and they go to bed and get up with me and write with me because my regrets know how to write.

What is the most socially overrated virtue?
Success, but success is not a virtue, it is just an accident.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
At 46 years old, if I disliked anything about my appearance I would be an asshole. I dislike everything, but I accept it with resignation.

What are your favorite names?
As a man, Lautaro. As a woman, Carolina, Lola, María. As a dog, Laika, Duke, Popi.

What talent would you like to have?
Know how to play the guitar. Know how to play soccer. Be a good pool player.

What do you dislike most?
Bad Education.

When and where have you been happiest?
I have always been happy. At least reasonably happy. And in places and dates where happiness was not exactly what was most abundant.

If you could, what would you change about your family?
Nothing. First because I can’t. Second because it is impossible.

What is your greatest achievement?
My greatest achievement would be that my son will remember me fondly. And my friends, from time to time, too. But that is a future battle.

What is your most treasured possession?
My books.

What is the clearest manifestation of misery?
Children who die of hunger, those who die from diseases that are easy to combat, children who suffer sexual abuse, children who have to work, those who are mistreated by their parents. The clearest manifestation of our misery and our failure as human beings is that and it is Auschwitz.

Where would you like to live?
If I had a lot of money, in Andalusia, without writing or doing anything, I would spend the day in bars and talking.

What’s your favorite hobbie?
Watch videos until five in the morning.

What quality do you appreciate most in a woman?
Intelligence and kindness, just like in men. Thirdly, humor, although if there is intelligence and kindness, humor is added.

What quality do you appreciate most in a man?
Wow, I think this question is already answered. Let’s add a fourth quality, desirable but not required: courage.

What is your favorite fictional hero?
Julien Sorel. El Pijoaparte by Marsé. Horacio Oliveira de Cortázar. The Superman of my childhood. The tormented Spiderman. Dracula. Sherlock Holmes. Father Brown. Don Isidro Parodi. The Christ of Elqui.

Who are your real life heroes?
The same ones that I have already mentioned. I would add Misael Escuti and Honorino Landa. I would add Baudelaire and Oscar Wilde.

Image courtesy of Federico Novaro.