9 characteristics of a narcissistic person

Over the years, psychology has studied personality and has discovered and classified different disorders associated with it. One of the best known is narcissistic personality disorder.

Understanding this problem is key to delving into the complexity of who we are. In this article we will delve into the characteristics of narcissism, its causes, treatment and how to relate to a person who has it.

The myth of Narcissus

The influence of Greek mythology on psychology, as we know, is immense. One of these best-known references is undoubtedly that of the myth of Narcissus, which gave name to this personality profile and the clinical label that describes it.

Let’s remember the story. Narcissus was a young man of unmatched beauty who rejected all the maidens who fell in love with him. In the end, he was punished by the gods to fall in love with his own image. Unable to stop observing his reflection, he threw himself into the water and died, turning into the beautiful flower that bears his name.

In some way, something that the original source of this myth gives us to understand is that the disproportionate love towards oneself cannot have a good ending. Narcissistic personality disorder makes up a psychological category that describes a series of dysfunctional behaviors that need to be known. Traits, behaviors and dynamics that we do not always perceive so obviously.

What is narcissistic personality

According to him Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), narcissistic personality disorder is a pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy.

Pathological narcissism is a mental health condition where The individual disdains others by detracting from them. He is someone who trusts a lot in himself and feels superior to the rest.

This disorder generates difficulties in different interpersonal relationships: family, social, work, romantic, etc. Consequently, the narcissist feels that his relationships are conflictive and unsatisfying, but he does not accept his part of the responsibility in this, but instead blames others.

Characteristics of narcissistic people

We all have our way of being. What’s more, if we consulted a psychiatry manual we would see that we have some characteristics in common with certain personality disorders.

So much so, that it is common to overuse the term narcissistic to describe difficult relatives, politicians, awkward neighbors and even Millennials. Now, how do we know if we are dealing with a narcissistic person?

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) establishes several diagnostic criteria that allow this type of individuals to be characterized.

1. Feelings of greatness

Narcissists overestimate their importance and have an exaggerated sense of grandeur. They magnify their successes and present them with arrogance; In that process, they devalue the contribution that others could have made. Furthermore, they tend to be very pretentious and believe that others attribute to them the same value that they give themselves.

2. Success fantasies

They spend most of their time dreaming of success, power and brilliance. They immerse themselves in fantasies where they are admired and receive multiple privileges. They tend to compare themselves positively to famous people and lucky people.

3. Belief of being special

They think they are unique and exceptional. Therefore, they expect others to see and treat them as superior individuals. They feel that their needs come before those of others and believe that only equally special people can understand them.

4. Excessive need for admiration

Deep down, they have a fragile self-esteem, therefore, They demand constant attention and admiration. They expect others to idolize them, covet their possessions, and stand in awe of them. They look for compliments and compliments.

5. Feelings of privilege

They have the expectation to be treated with privilege. They expect to be served exclusively and get angry when this does not happen. They believe that their demands are a priority and that they are above those of other people.

6. Interpersonal exploitation

The demands of privilege, coupled with insensitivity to the wants and needs of others, can cause them to end up exploiting others. They want and demand to be given what they want, no matter what that means.

7. Lack of empathy

Narcissists generally They lack empathy and have trouble identifying people’s desires, experiences, and feelings. They assume that others are concerned about their well-being, they talk a lot about themselves and do not recognize that others also have their interests and needs.

8. Envy

They tend to envy other people’s achievements or think that others envy them. They believe they deserve the successes, possessions, privileges and admiration that others have.

9. Arrogance

They have arrogant attitudes and behaviors. This is because they have an inflated view of themselves. Because they consider themselves special, they assume they are superior to the rest of the world.

Differences between narcissistic disorder and narcissistic personality style

Because narcissism has characteristics that all people have to a greater or lesser extent, it is necessary to differentiate between narcissistic personality disorder and non-pathological narcissism, which can be understood as a personality style.

Non-pathological narcissism does not considerably affect the person’s life and It allows you to function adaptively in your interpersonal relationships. Although it has common features with the disorder, these are not as exacerbated.

On the other hand, when narcissism becomes a disorder, It significantly affects the life of those who suffer from it. According to the DSM-5, personality problems are considered disorders when:

They deviate from cultural expectations.They are persistent, inflexible and extend to different personal and social situations.They cause clinically significant discomfort.They are stable and long lasting.They cannot be attributed to the effects of a substance.

Taking these criteria into account, a clear difference can be drawn between a disorder and a personality style, between pathological narcissism and that which is not. The key is in the degree of impact, duration and stability.

Causes of narcissism

The origin of narcissistic personality disorder is complex and has multiple causes, as indicated by experts in a StatPearls article. We cannot speak of a single cause, but apparently, the factors that most influence its appearance are environmental.

Traumatic experiences, rejection, and vulnerable self-esteem can be precursors to the development of this disorder in adulthood. However, receiving excessive praise or believing that a child has exceptional abilities It can also be a triggering factor.

in his book Personality and its disorders, Theodore Millon and George Everly (1994) describe three potential environmental factors for the development of narcissism: parental indulgence and overvaluation, learned exploitative behavior, and being an only child.

1. Parental indulgence and overvaluation

Some parents consider their children to be God’s gift to the world, which leads them to spoil and please them in everything. In this context, Theodore Millon and George Everly maintain that it is very possible for the child to learn that:

You deserve to be treated with distinction. You are special and superior. You can expect others to submit to your will. You will receive praise for anything you do.

Overindulged and overrated children expect everything to revolve around them. Therefore, it is not strange that they become selfish and narcissistic adults.

2. Learned exploitative behavior

The narcissistic person becomes accustomed from a young age to receiving special treatment from his family.. This means that when you go out into the world you carry with you the idea that you will be treated the same. Learning that others are subservient to him, that they are weak and inferior, he tends to exploit them to satisfy his needs and fulfill his desires.

3. Being an only child

Although it cannot be generalized, the parental perception that the child is special is a factor that can be taken into account. For example, parents try to take more care of him, indulge him in his whims and overvalue him.

Treatment

Some therapeutic interventions that can be applied are:

Cognitive-behavioral therapy. Helps narcissists recognize and challenge their thoughts and behaviors. You can restructure the belief that you are special and manage the constant need for admiration. In addition, it teaches people new ways of acting, thinking and relating.Metacognitive therapy. It allows the narcissist to be more aware of their thoughts and helps them develop the ability to monitor and control their beliefs, actions and motivations.Group therapy. Provides an environment to share experiences, listen and learn from others. It can be very helpful for the narcissist to change and improve the way they interact with people.Family or systemic therapy. Since narcissists have difficulty relating in healthy ways, the systemic approach can help them understand their interaction patterns and teach them social skills to connect with others.

There is no standard treatment for all narcissists.. The most convenient thing is for the person to go to a health professional to evaluate their case and design an intervention plan according to their disorder.

How to deal with a narcissist

Living or relating to a narcissistic person is a challenge for anyone. In order to help you deal with it, we leave you some useful suggestions to deal with it.

Learn about narcissism: You need to know the characteristics of this disorder to better understand the person you are dealing with.Increase your self-esteem: Strengthening the value you give yourself is crucial when interacting with a narcissist. By cultivating healthy self-esteem, you can resist harmful behaviors and maintain your well-being.Set clear boundaries: It is essential that you delineate and communicate what you are not willing to accept when interacting with a narcissist. These boundaries should be consistent and clear, and they are essential to protecting your happiness.Express what you feel: If you perceive that your boundaries have been violated, you must express it. Communicate your feelings and concerns calmly and specifically.Practice relaxation exercises: Yoga, meditation, diaphragmatic breathing can help you stay calm and react more assertively. Seek social support: Surround yourself with people you trust and with whom you can vent. These healthy relationships will give you energy and help you find new ways to deal with what you are experiencing.Emphasize the immediate: People with narcissistic tendencies often make promises. It is vital that you emphasize the importance of…