How to use reverse psychology?

Reverse psychology is a method of suggestion based on leading a person in a direction by showing the opposite attitude to that direction.

Surely you have used reverse psychology at some point, although you may not have realized or been aware of the power it has. Basically, it is about adopting a position so that the other adopts the opposite.

Teenagers are usually the experts at being contrary. In the process of establishing their identity, if there is one thing they hate, it is when someone tries to direct or condition them. Thus, in order to avoid this feeling, they often choose not to do what they are suggested, even though deep down they know that it is the best option.

However, this is not just a thing for teenagers. Although with less intensity and frequency, vestiges of this inclination – that of being contrary – usually remain in adult life.

What is reverse psychology?

This concept is attributed to the Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl and bases its effectiveness on reactance. What does this process consist of? It is a motivational process through which we defend our freedom and rebel against those who we believe are trying to repress us..

On many occasions, just because we feel that we have control of our lives, we cling to a decision contrary to what we are told. We are not willing to lose our power or our autonomy.

It is enough for a small child to be told not to touch an object to awaken his curiosity. It is enough for any of us to be told not to open a closet door to feel the tremendous curiosity to open it.. Reverse psychology is that if we want someone to carry out an action, we will tell them to carry out the opposite action so that they choose the one we really want.

How do we implement reverse psychology?

Let’s imagine that a 5-year-old child refuses to eat vegetables. You insist on making him finish everything on his plate, but there seems to be no way: he is not going to eat the carrots or zucchini. If you keep telling him to eat, everything will end badly. You will lower your arms and he will happily go play.

The thing is not as simple as telling the child not to eat them. She’s going to run away and we’re going to be left with the vegetables. First we have to do some preliminary work, we have to give the vegetables an attractive shape: so that they do not look like a bland and boring dish, but quite the opposite.

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Then we can put reverse psychology into action to further increase the appeal of the dish. The truth is If something arouses our curiosity, it increases even more if it is prohibited. This in childhood is especially true because parents often prohibit things to their children that they have at some point experienced as fun. As we grow older, we add the need for independence to the association we have acquired in childhood.

Other reasons why reverse psychology works

Other reasons for being contrary may have to do with the security we feel in a certain situation. If we feel insecure and someone encourages us to take a risk, we will probably opt for the most common behavior or the least divergent from that of the majority.

On the contrary, accompanied by a feeling of security, we will lean towards the risky option with more determination if someone tries to incite us to take the safe route. Thus, being contrary in these cases does not usually determine the side towards which the balance tips, but it does make it tilt definitively or do so more strongly, towards one side or the other.

As said before, reverse psychology is based on reactance, that is, on the perception of a threat to freedom. Therefore, to awaken reactance, certain conditions are needed:

The person must feel that they have the right to do something. The threat to that freedom to do something must be strong. The threatened freedom must be important to the individual. If there are several freedoms or rights that are threatened, reactance increases. .That the person who tries to make the prohibition does not have authority.

Reverse psychology is a paradox: for it to work we have to increase the other person’s reactance, in this way we will push them to “disobey.”

Reverse psychology in adults

Perhaps the example of the child who did not want to eat vegetables is something basic and we understand it because “this is a child who can be handled more easily.” However, You should know that reverse psychology is widely used in companies.

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For example: a company offers optional training courses for its employees. But since they are after working hours, no one signs up. Then, managers report that, starting next month, course hours will be cut in half and those resources will be lost.

With this strategic move, the company does not actually want to eliminate the courses, but rather the worker realizes that he has something that has value and that if he does not use it he will dedicate himself to something else. Nobody likes to lose something that has objective value even if that person has not given it to them until that moment..

If the company manages to make the worker perceive this, they will begin to attend the courses, even if it is simply so that they do not take them away.

How to apply reverse psychology?

As you have seen, this technique is not as simple as saying “no” for the other to answer “yes”. Reverse psychology is subtle and only works with some people. Therefore, here are some tips to apply it and make it work:

Make sure the subject is susceptible to this type of suggestion. Wait for the right moment: it works best with intense and immediate emotional responses. It is useful in discussions in which the other person wants to be right rather than finding a solution to a problem. Say the opposite of what you think, but without changing your tone. If you’re speaking softly, keep it up. Once you’ve said the opposite, press in that direction to convince the other person that that’s your true position.

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Be careful not to fall into toxic

Now, it is not about going through life “denying things” so that others can do them the way we want. There are some conditions (so to speak) so that the habit of manipulating does not become a habit:

Who will you apply it to and why? Answer this question before using the reverse psychology technique. If it is so that your child gets dressed for school or stops watching so much television, welcome, but if you want to convince your customers to buy a new product, you may have to think better.What are the effects you can achieve? If you deny your child from doing his homework and he ends up doing it, perfect. However, sometimes your play won’t go your way and he will reply, happiest in the world, “perfect, I can turn on the video games then.”How free does that person want to feel? The greater your need for self-affirmation (need to feel that you make the decisions you make of your own free will), the more likely you are to follow a path other than the one we indicate. For example, a person who does not like taking orders at all will be a good candidate for reverse psychology to work with.

Have you ever put reverse psychology into practice? On what occasions have you not been able to avoid it? Keep in mind that you have to do it carefully, because sometimes our idea can be truncated and not work as expected. Keep everything mentioned above in mind!