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What to do when he doesn’t want sex anymore?

Of the problems between couples, the lack of sex can be one of the most dangerous. Sex isn’t everything, but it certainly is an extremely important part of a relationship. The absence or poor quality of sexual relationships, among other problems in this regard, is an important and very influential point in the health and satisfaction of a relationship. Therefore, the lack of interest in sex by either party is configured as a serious problem that must receive attention and care at the height of adversity.

In these situations, some men feel guilty, because of erectile dysfunction or other problems with pleasuring their partner. Another part of women blame themselves for their partner’s lack of sexual interest. The fact is that this is a common problem that many couples go through, whether they are in recent or long-term relationships.

The psychologist specialist in relationships, Pâmela Magalhães, said that she frequently receives in her office, complaints about the cooling of the relationship: “Some report how the partner’s individualistic behavior increasingly reflects on the couple’s distancing, impairing their affective life, which makes love and sexual encounters increasingly scarce. Others say, with considerable regret and hurt, how the partner avoids intimate moments, opting for other activities or even creating any excuse not to have sex. I usually propose to the patient to reflect on the couple’s life, how the routine goes together, the daily activities of each one and what they usually do together. By surveying the couple’s relational history, we can understand how the admiration, the enchantment and the lust of the relationship are going”.

The subject is complicated and sometimes difficult to discuss, as it brings fear and shame to the couple. The fact is that pushing this kind of problem with the belly, or creating answers that don’t make sense just to convince ourselves or pass the responsibility to the other or to factors that are out of our control is the worst move to make at a time like this.

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Any conflict between a couple must be thought of together, as a failure of the bond between two people and never be simplified as a defect to be corrected by the other, individually. Try not to point “blame” on anyone and never blame yourself for it. The problem may have been generated by several associated causes and must be worked on together by the couple.

8 reasons why they lose interest in sex

Be aware of the signs and some of the most common reasons that can lead to this problem and how to solve them:

1. Accommodation and routine

The day to day of any couple, the relationship time and the inevitable routine can result in the relentless relational wear and tear and mercilessly extinguish the flame of passion, giving space only to companionship, friendship, common responsibilities and in many cases, not even that. .

The best way to resolve this situation is to lift the dust and break the boring routine. “Find some time a week for a dinner for two, a more intimate date at a motel, buy some new lingerie, anyway! Try to warm up the relationship so that it doesn’t get lost in the numerous activities of everyday life. We must always surprise our partner and also be surprised, so that the flame of passion is maintained”, suggests Pâmela Magalhães.

2. Excessive arguments and fights

Fights without reason and constant disagreements generate hurts and some wounds that can be difficult to heal. With so much wear and tear, it is natural to reduce libido and, instead of sex, there is an exchange of barbs, complaints and emotional torture. Make an effort to make living together less burdensome. An exercise in constant tolerance is fundamental to any relationship.

3. Physical issues

Erectile dysfunction and / or loss of male libido can be caused by several reasons such as smoking, stress, hormonal imbalance, among others. For problems of this order, many treatments are available and with more and more scientific and technological evolution. In this case, treatment and the support of the woman is essential. For this, she needs to be aware of what is happening so that she can support and play her part in the process, understanding the limitations and needs of the moment. Even when the diagnosis is purely physical, psychological follow-up may be important, as both will be experiencing the situation.

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4. Stress at work

We often take home our dissatisfactions at work, over-activity, and irritations. Angry, disgusted, we take out our dissatisfactions on the other, which wears down the relationship and ends its enchantment. In these cases, the climate for sex is difficult. According to psychologist Pâmela Magalhães, it is important that you avoid taking home all the martyrdom of routine and routine. “Take the opportunity to enjoy your partner at home, have fun and feel at peace. In this way, sexuality has more space to happen, in a pleasant way, being an excellent fuel for good humor and self-esteem”.

5. Carelessness with appearance

Intimacy and carelessness should not be confused. It’s not because we’ve been with our partner for a long time that we can feel entitled not to dress up anymore, we don’t care about personal hygiene and attitudes that might surprise him. This can be one of the great villains of sexuality. For libido to exist, we need to show the other that we care about our appearance and pleasing them. It is worth remembering that he must also take care of himself and keep his appearance up to date. For the relationship to work, both must be equally dedicated. This care should not be exclusive to women.

6. Excessive individuality

We all have our preferences, tastes and quirks. The point is that these particularities are common, but must be well measured. Sometimes we can immerse ourselves in our personal universe and forget that a relationship needs partnership and exchange. The relationship is not just a physical interaction, but also company, partnership and attention to the other. A relationship needs conversations, exchanges and trusts. For a relationship to work, we need to preserve the private world of each one, but also the universe as a whole. If not, why are they together?

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7. Drug reaction

Some medications can get in the way of achieving and maintaining an erection. Antidepressants, antibiotics, antacids and even nasal decongestants can influence libido and erection. In this case, if you imagine that the problem is physical, it is good to research well, preferably with medical help, what could be causing this dysfunction.

8. Lack of dialogue

There are so many couples who share the same house, they have so much in common, including children! But still they don’t know how to talk, and so at the first problem or discontent they argue or else, they shut up. The relationship starts to fall into indifference, which can be fatal to the quality of living. Talk, encourage your partner to communicate with you, count your day when you get home, ask about his, comment on a fun topic, show interest in your life and your achievements, all this will serve to bring you closer. What do you think about exercising more dialogue? Haven’t you guys talked in a while? Listening to the other, taking an interest in their day, plans and sensations, will gradually restore intimacy.

And don’t forget: you can’t solve the problem alone. Both you and he must be willing to work together to look for the causes of the sexual estrangement and to work to resolve the problem. A relationship should be supported by both sides, not just one. Dedicate yourselves together.

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