How to recover the illusion with your partner

Being in love is a magical and indescribable feeling, but it is also fleeting and changing. All relationships suffer ups and downs, times in which you are a total team and others in which you must put all your effort into being able to face crises and overcome them together. Love is always there and affection even more so, but sometimes it is not enough, sometimes something important has been lost: the illusion. To understand why this happens, it is essential to know the different phases or stages a relationship goes throughgenerally cyclically.

Fall in love

It is the stage in which reigns the illusion. During the falling in love phase we become irrational beings who idealize the person they love. We are extremely happy, although we can go to tears in a heartbeat. It’s a state of euphoria constant and at the same time an extreme fear of losing the loved one. It is a stage in which both generally feel good, energetic, vital, dependent, eager… almost obsessive. All of this is the result of the chemical alterations that the brain experiences during this fiery, beautiful and unforgettable phase of falling in love.

In this other unCOMO article we explain how the body reacts when we like someone.

Serene knowledge or stabilization

When the euphoria of falling in love subsides, it gives way to a vital stage in any relationship, so much so that if it is not carried out in a good way it can be the first step towards a breakup. We talk about stabilization or also known as the phase of serene knowledge. Little by little the madness gives way to reality. We are more aware of what the other person is like in all their facets, leaving aside idealization and beliefs. Sometimes, this phase can give rise to disappointment or disillusionment, but in many others it can give way to sincere, unconditional love, true love with all the virtues and all the defects. To love for being as it is.

However, it is a time in which other external factors begin to appear that can affect the relationship, from your own previous experiences, to the in-laws, the future project that each one has… It is a stage where there are You have to learn to efficiently manage emotions. Fight for both our individual and common happiness, to assume roles and establish priorities. Although it can be a beautiful, positive and fascinating stage, on many occasions it can lead to a breakup in the couple, if they do not work as a team, since this phase is when the illusion is lost in a relationship or when it can start to happen.

Relationship restart or breakup

During the stabilization phase is where you generally lose or the illusion goes out. It is a phase that precedes this last stage that has two aspects: the reboot of the relationship or the rupture. Generally it is a moment in which either both come together to overcome the crisis or the loss of hope, recover well-being and joy as a couple, or doubts arise about leaving the relationship. All of these approaches arise from resentment, frustration and estrangement within the couple. But if you can recover the magic and the illusion that led you to be together, it can be the beginning of a re-falling in love, a beautiful and loving phase that will definitively strengthen your relationship.

There are multiple factors that influence the loss of hope in the couple. All of them can lead to the loss of the quality of the relationship and although they can be reversed, they require patience, time and dedication if you want to regain the hope in a loving relationship.

Personal factors

Sometimes we insist on blaming or looking for the reason for the loss of the illusion, although the answer only lies within us. I have what I want? Do I work on what I like? What is my real future project? Are we on the same path? All these doubts that come to mind are personal existential doubts that can affect the couple. Any approach you make on an individual level will have an impact on the other person, which is why, sometimes, crises originate from the existential dimensions of one of the two, generating coldness and distance between them.

heartbreak

Closely linked to personal factors is heartbreak. Sometimes, letting ourselves get carried away by routine makes the relationship become flat. Emotion no longer exists, the unexpected no longer exists and in this transit feelings may also change. Do you feel like it’s not the same anymore? That your feelings have lost strength, intensity…? The loss of hope is the first step on the road to breaking up, which is why it is important to stop and think and reflect if you feel that you have fallen out of love with your partner. Only then will you be aware of whether it is possible to recover it or not.

Routine and time

If there is a common reason that causes a couple to lose hope, it is the high pace of life and everyday life. Work, family responsibilities, hobbies, friends… Our whole world needs dedication and time and sometimes that can take its toll on a relationship, taking away its quality and contributing to taking less care of it. It is true that many couples see little of each other, but they spend good quality time. The problem arises when your partner stops being one of your priorities and the moments you share are not full, satisfying, or positive… Little by little, this camouflaged disinterest can affect our relationship, making us lose hope in the relationship. couple.

Now that you know why the illusion is lost in the couple, it is time to know the keys that will help you recover it, in order to save your relationship, to fall in love again, to regain the trust, complicity and satisfaction that being with your loved one gives you. So, take note of the following tips to regain hope in the couple:

What do I want?

That is the main question that you should ask yourself before deciding whether or not you want to recover the illusion with your partner. It is important that you listen to yourself and pay attention to your own emotions. Generally, we tend to blame the other person, because they are boring, because they don’t think about you, because they don’t do what you want… The question is: what about you, do you do it for your partner? Observe yourself and learn to see where you fail and do not continue justifying the lack of enthusiasm because of your partner. Do you still love her? Do you want to continue with her? What would make you feel better? What can you change to get the spark back in your relationship? Ask yourself all these questions, look for the answers and pay attention to your personal emotions, only you will be able to know. how to recover the illusion with your partner knowing what you need, desire and want yourself.

Changes

Knowing your own goals and feelings, it is time to start making changes to regain the couple’s enthusiasm. It’s time to get out of the routine a little, improvise, surprise… Find something that you both like, that gives you pleasure, entertainment or fun. Weekend outings, intimacy, communication, romantic dinners, adventure plans… Recovering the small details will make the couple stronger, thanks to the show of interest. To recover the illusion you must recover time with your partner. Make him feel special and important by your side. Fall in love again.

Time, moments and details

Changes in your relationship must be introduced little by little, but above all you must dedicate time to yourself, it is the most important thing to recover the enthusiasm. Value the small moments and live them to the fullest. Only then will you be able to see if it works again, if you feel alive again being together. Time, moments and details are what will keep you away from the split.

New challenges and plans together

Thinking about the future and moving forward in your relationship together is a good method to regain hope in the couple. Find a common goal: from starting a cohabitation, to changing your home, redesigning it, perhaps a wedding, perhaps increasing your family or planning a dream trip. Project your concerns together to build a solid relationship.

Communication

Don’t forget that communication is one of the most important pillars of a couple, along with trust, respect and affection. Talk about what is happening and look for solutions together. There is no better way than to be honest to overcome this situation. Talk about your shortcomings, your desires and what you expect from your partner. Add more spice, more love, more time… Whatever it takes to fill the void left by disappointment. With effort, time and patience you will be able to rekindle your love story.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to recover the illusion with your partnerwe recommend that you enter our Sentimental Relationships category.