How to overcome jealousy in relationships

Jealousy does nothing but erode the relationship. That is why, below, we present some tips to overcome them.

Many people feel jealous at times, especially when there are strong feelings of attraction and love towards their partner.. Even, on occasion and in moderation, jealousy can help add spark to a relationship. But uncontrolled jealousy can lead to situations of tension between the couple and can end up deteriorating or even destroying the relationship.

It is normal to feel jealous, as long as it does not lead to situations of control, suffocation in the relationship and harming one’s partner. Many people who abuse suffer unhealthy jealousy, jealousy that controls the person and causes them to commit acts that indicate anything but love.

“Jealousy is possession, no matter how you want to paint it. “It is suffocating the other in the name of an unhealthy love.”

-Walter Riso-

11 tips to overcome jealousy

If you care about your relationship and you admit that you are compulsively jealous, it is interesting that you take note of the ideas. Overcoming jealousy is possible, although it is not always easy. We recommend that you always go to a professional who will undoubtedly help you. Although, the first step is to recognize and be self-critical with yourself to say “yes, I am very jealous”.

1. Trust each other

It is essential to trust the other, who will surely feel offended by the lack of trust. Even if there are reasons to distrust due to some mistake or infidelity in the past, It is essential to regain trust and clarify the terms of forgiveness.

And, if you are not able to leave these past mistakes behind, the most convenient thing would be to settle the breakup. Well, There is no point in continuing with that person if you harbor resentment or mistrust..

“The person who is best for you is the one who, having the freedom to do what he wants, chooses you at all times”

-Anonymous-

2. Stop comparing yourself to others

Comparing yourself to others can be an easy way to lose self-esteem.. If your partner chose you it will be for something, virtues, skills, attitudes, etc. valued together. It makes no sense to consider qualities in isolation from others, especially those related to physical appearance or social status. If you can’t help it, look for what you have that others don’t, especially what your partner likes, and exploit it.

Read Also: Reconciling with your partner, how do you know if it's worth it?

3. Prepare to lose

It sounds harsh, but it is a good exercise to find solutions. Imagining what it would mean to lose the other person is a good way to deal with the problem.to see beyond, to put an end to the destructive thought of “without you I am nothing” and things like that.

At the root of jealousy is the fear of loss and insecurity about what will happen in the future. Overcoming that fear is vital to confront them.

4. Don’t play the game of making others jealous

Trying to make someone jealous won’t make you feel better.. Taking it as a game will distort the situation. It may give a spark to the relationship in some situations, but when jealousy is a problem it can get worse.

Jealousy is an irrational reaction to a situation that is assumed from a specific perspective. If you play you risk losing.

“If jealousy is a sign of love, it is like a fever in a sick man, for having it is a sign of having life, but a sick and ill-disposed life.”

-Miguel de Cervantes-

5. Don’t distort reality

Jealousy is driven by the destructive use of imaginationwhich plays very bad tricks, bringing very negative images to mind.

Therefore, if we want to overcome jealousy, it is necessary to pay attention to what is happening and not always imagine the worst. If you can’t help it, think just the opposite and imagine how he rejects the other person, how he overcomes the insinuations or whatever you want, so as not to lose out.

6. Avoid prohibitions and limitations

They say that he who avoids the occasion avoids the danger. But this is a really destructive sign of distrust for a relationship. It is essential to leave the other person freedom to act as they wish., go wherever you want, talk and relate to whoever you want. Once again, trust is vital.

7. Strengthen your self-esteem to overcome jealousy

The main reason for jealousy is low self-esteem. In this case, Jealous people believe they are not good enough for their partner.; Therefore, they believe that at any moment they will be left for someone better.

When someone loves themselves and accepts themselves as they are, doubts and mistrust towards their partner disappear.. Well, they feel sufficient and trust that their partner is there because they want him to be. And, if they were to become a victim of infidelity, they would get over it faster; Well, they don’t go around blaming themselves or wondering where they went wrong.

8. Think positive

Jealousy feeds on fear. Therefore, if you waste your time worrying about something that has not happened, you will fall into a vicious circle from which it is very difficult to get out. So, When faced with any negative thoughts about your relationship, replace them with those positive things you have together. and be thankful for them.

9. Get rid of myths about love

Eliminate that false belief that states: whoever is not jealous of you does not love you. True love is born from respect, acceptance and freedom. Likewise, it is important to discard the certainty that our partner belongs to us, since no one owns anyone. And he who believes that this is so, then he does not really love, but rather presents a type of dependence on the other.

Read Also: Assertive indifference, what it is and how it works

10. Work on communication within the couple

The secret of happy couples is good communication, based on honest, respectful and understanding dialogue. Therefore, It is important to communicate our insecurities to our partner without falling into reproaches or manipulation.. The ideal is for both to overcome difficulties as a team, where they support each other and build a relationship with solid foundations and mutual trust.

11. Cultivate your individual space

A fairly common mistake couples make is doing everything together and not leaving room to cultivate individuality.. In fact, jealous people hardly want to do activities where their partner is not and vice versa: they don’t like their partner doing things without them. In the long run, this behavior will end up suffocating one, or both of you.

Therefore, Keep in mind that happiness depends on yourself and it is essential to cultivate it from within. So don’t give up the need to have your own space, to enjoy alone with your friends, invest time in your personal development, do activities that you enjoy, etc. Likewise, it is important that you allow these things to your partner.

Addressing dysfunctional jealousy in psychotherapy

For some couples, overcoming pathological jealousy can be quite a challenge. Especially when both members base their relationship on a dynamic of mistrust, personal insecurities and dependency.

Therefore, In some cases, the most recommended will be a psychotherapeutic approach, specifically couples therapy.. Therefore, if you have tried everything to solve your situation, and have not obtained positive results, it is best to have the assistance of a professional.

Although, it is pertinent to keep in mind that couples therapy does not always guarantee that the relationship will continue. Well, in some cases, the incompatibility between the members is such that the best thing would be separation. However, this should not be assumed as something negative, since forcing the maintenance of toxic relationships only compromises the well-being of those involved.