Reconciling with your partner, how do you know if it’s worth it?

After a big upset, a considerable disagreement or a major mistake, sometimes the storm passes and calm comes.. Other times not. What happened left a significant mark, and that is when you wonder if it is worth reconciling with your partner or rather if it is time to end the relationship.

The question is very valid, especially if the two of you have had recurring difficulties or something has happened that calls into question the relevance of the relationship. Either way, the most important thing is to ask yourself if reconciling with your partner represents a solution or, instead, a way to perpetuate the problems.

Likewise, it is necessary that you take into account the way in which you are going to reconcile with your partner. Is everything solved with a bouquet of flowers or a romantic dinner or should you go further and dot the missing i’s over the available i’s? We will talk about this.

Reconciling with a partner is possible, as long as a solution, a change in the relationship, is viable.

Reconcile with your partner, when is it possible?

Problems in a relationship are normal and, in fact, are an excellent opportunity to improve. Many difficulties do not reach the point of generating distance, but others do. Not only do they cause estrangements, but they cause discomfort and leave significant marks on both of them. There are also many small problems that become repetitive and deteriorate the relationship.

It is in these cases that the question arises as to whether it is advisable to reconcile with your partner or not. The first thing you should take into consideration is your own feelings.. In particular, the emotions that this dislike generates in you and whether the love you feel for the other person is still very strong.

Is it worth reconciling? Not so fast, if it applies to any of these situations:

The main motivation for reconciling with your partner is the fear that the relationship will end. You have already had the same problem over and over again. It ends in reconciliation, and then comes back again. You harbor resentments and just want to reconcile, waiting for an opportunity to get revenge. You feel guilty because you believe that the other person suffers a lot if you don’t reconcile with them. You believe that with a little patience you can change the other person. .You think that reconciling is a duty, for the well-being of your children. You have some economic interest that you can only save if you reconcile. You are worried about what others may think if there is no reconciliation.

In all those cases, you must think very carefully about what you do. It corresponds to situations in which in reality You are not seeking to reconcile with your partner, but rather to prolong a reality that is uncomfortable for you., but that for one reason or another you don’t want to leave behind. In the end, this doesn’t work. Sooner or later you will realize that you are hurting yourself and the other person.

When reconciliation has more to do with prolonging a reality that does not work, it is advisable to reflect on why do it.

How to reconcile?

If you are looking to reconcile with your partner out of love and because you want everything to work better, for you to grow together and achieve more balance and harmony, you are on the right path. Now, this is not enough. Just as important as this is choosing the appropriate way to resolve the core of the conflict.. First of all, take your time, you don’t need to rush.

The indicated thing is that you examine very well what you feel. In particular, ask yourself what is bothering you, what feelings it provokes and why it causes you discomfort. Put your hand on your heart and, without beating yourself up, but honestly, Try to identify how you participate or contribute to the conflict. By action or omission. Focus on yourself, not the other person.

When you think you have everything clear, tell your partner that you want to talk. Ideally, you should find a time and space in which you both feel comfortable and are not in a hurry. The best way to reconcile with your partner is to explain what you have found with your reflection.. How you feel, how the situation affects you and what you want for the future. Also, of course, it is important that you are able to listen respectfully to others.

Reconciliation is consolidated when a new agreement is reached. If it is not possible to solve everything, at least there must be a commitment to change, to readapt, to improve. Something that is not simple; getting it right deserves a reconciliation. Reconciling is not turning the page, but preparing to write a better page than the previous one.

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