Assertive indifference, what it is and how it works

Assertive indifference is a new expression that began to be used in the field of relationships. However, little by little the concept has been used in other fields, proving to be an interesting idea to manage various situations.

It is defined as assertive indifference to a behavior that voluntarily blocks any type of external reaction to a specific stimulus. As if it didn’t matter or didn’t affect in any way. This is simulated behavior. The purpose is not to reveal to another what you are feeling.

What is sought with assertive indifference, ultimately, is not to expose real emotions to another. At first it might seem like a form of pretense or manipulation. However, it is quite the opposite. The idea is to avoid showing weaknesses or weaknesses so as not to be manipulated. by others, in conditions in which there is a power play. That is why this form of indifference is called “assertive.”

Assertive indifference in the field of love

The couple’s land Sometimes it’s a rose garden, but sometimes it’s also a battlefield. There are many elements of power at play in it. We are not just referring to the proverbial machismo that prevails in almost the entire world. Women also act as a figure of power on many occasions.

One of the moments where this becomes palpable is in what many call the “groping.”. That is, when one of the members of the couple wants to test how much influence they have over the other. This happens especially at the beginning of the relationship. It also happens when the couple breaks up, without much conviction, and one of the two wants to measure what possibilities she has to try again.

It is a kind of pulse of forces. In that case, assertive indifference may be a good response.. Pretend that you don’t feel anything, either to prevent the manipulation from taking place, or to prevent a relationship that we have already terminated from being restarted. It is not a deception as such, but a tactic to achieve a greater good.

Assertive indifference and conflictive ties

Assertive indifference is also an appropriate response when there are persistent conflictual ties.. For example, when you have a co-worker with whom you systematically have differences that lead to discomfort. You already know there is no case. For some reason, it is necessary for that person to generate contradictions with you.

If you see that dialogue is impossible, the best option is assertive indifference. It involves not giving in to provocations, ignoring offensive comments and, ultimately, giving up a genuine bond with that person. The objective is not to offer a response to the stimuli that are proposed to you and that in the end only lead you to acidic and useless situations.

Over time, assertive indifference becomes a way to defuse the other’s harmful behavior.. Seeing that he does not find an answer in the unhealthy game he intends to pose, sooner or later he abandons that type of behavior. They become inefficient.

A tool to overcome situations

Assertive indifference is also applicable to everyday conflict situations. Differences with others are part of the routine. Most of the time such differences are really insignificant. However, they sometimes lead to larger confrontations. One way or another, we constantly have to decide whether to take a difference to another level or not.

Deciding appropriately what is given importance and what is not is something that is part of assertiveness.. Such assertiveness is precisely that social skill that allows you to defend your rights effectively. Put a limit on abuse. But for it to become effective, you also have to learn to distinguish when the essence of your rights is at risk and when it is not.

Not every conflictive situation warrants a reaction on our part. This “letting go” is part of assertive indifference. It involves an assessment in which we weigh what brings us more benefits and fewer negative consequences.. Responding to the aggression of a drunk person, for example, is only valid if it really endangers some fundamental good.

Assertive indifference, then, is a tool to manage different conflict situations, intelligently.. Sometimes the best thing we can do is do nothing. In fact, being able to do nothing, when appropriate, is what this valuable concept points to.

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