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How to modify your self-concept

A negative self-concept is a burden that causes painful emotions and stops you from achieving your goals. Find out how to modify it.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

We all know the term “self-esteem,” but we are not as familiar with other related terms, such as self-concept. However, this one is as important and as key in our daily lives as the first one is. Know and know how to modify your self-concept It can totally transform the way you look, how you relate to others, and what happens in your life.. Therefore, today we want to explain how to achieve it.

Self-concept refers to the opinion, idea or concept that a person has about themselves. Are the set of definitions that we make about ourselves and with which we function. What we like and what we don’t, our virtues and defects, how we usually do in each area of ​​life… To make a simile, it would be everything we would tell if we were telling someone what a person they want to meet is like.

Now, having a positive or negative self-concept can totally make a difference. This can limit you or boost you, be a burden to achieving your goals and objectives or, on the contrary, be your best tool for personal evolution. Below we will tell you why.

Self-concept is the image we have about ourselves.

Why modify your self-concept?

As we said, the self-concept is formed by the set of definitions you make about yourself and the notions you have regarding who you are. Now this determines how you feel about yourself, others, and the world.

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To give an example, if you think you are a lazy person, you will not trust yourself to be persistent when starting a project. If you define yourself as someone with bad luck in love, it will cause you conflict to look for or have a partner. And if you feel that everything has always gone wrong for you, you will have a rather pessimistic perspective on the future.

Of course, modifying your self-concept will not magically transform your reality, but it will bring great changes for several reasons:

A positive self-concept will help you identify opportunities more easily. It will allow you to interpret situations in a more adjusted, useful and functional way for you. You will act in a different way and it will bring you closer to your goals.

Identify the concept you have about yourself

The idea we have about ourselves has been formed in such a natural and gradual way that many times we are not even aware of it. There are probably a lot of things you think about yourself that you didn’t even know were on your mind; and yet they direct you from the shadows.

Therefore, first of all we propose an exercise to clarify and bring to light what this concept is that you have about yourself. To do this, take a piece of paper and a pen and start describing yourself in writing. Express who you are as if you were writing a cover letter for a stranger.

Try not to control this process and write what comes to your mind of natural form. There is no time or word limit, and the structure of the text does not matter. Just try to be sincere, don’t make up the words or write what you would like, but what it is, what you truly think about yourself and your life.

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To make it easier for you, You can do this exercise first by talking about another person.. What would you say about your mother or your best friend if you wanted someone to know them? Write it down and then use that text as a reference to talk about yourself.

Once you have it, read it and underline some specific areas:

All definitions, adjectives and labels in the text (for example: “lazy”, “introverted”, “brave”.) Phrases that begin with “always”, “never” or similar (for example: “always they reject me” or “I have been afraid all my life”.) Those words or phrases that stand out or draw your attention due to their strong emotional charge (for example: “abandonment”, “mistakes”, “I am trapped”, “I am not moving forward”. ”…).

A positive self-concept helps to achieve goals and interpret situations in an adaptive way.

Modify your self-concept to achieve your goals

Now that you have identified your self-concept, it is time to question whether those beliefs and definitions are positive and useful, or if it is time to change them. In this second case, it is construct sentences that turn that negative definition around. For example:

Instead of “I’m lazy,” you can write “I’m a persevering person, I’m committed to my goals.” Instead of “I’ve always had a bad time in love,” do a more positive reading like “I’m clear about what I want in life.” a relationship.” Instead of “I feel stuck,” say “I see opportunities easily and take them without fear.”

These are the new definitions and new concepts by which we want to guide ourselves. And, for this, it can be very useful repeat them every morning in front of a mirror, as positive affirmations. And the internal dialogue is modified based on repetition and perseverance.

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But the most important thing is that start acting according to these new guidelines. So, when you are in a relevant situation, remember the new self-concept and behave accordingly. For example, if you previously postponed your intention to exercise every morning because you considered yourself lazy, remind yourself that you now define yourself as persevering and take action about it. Over time, these new concepts will transform into the real image you have of yourself because they have been accompanied by real facts and changes.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Díaz, NC (2017). Development of the value of self-esteem, through three programming techniques. Education in Values ​​Magazine, (27), 47-60.Esnaola, I., Goñi, A., & Madariaga, JM (2008). Self-concept: research perspectives. Journal of Psychodidactics, 13(1), 69-96.

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