How to learn to identify if you love yourself?

Lack of self-esteem can manifest itself in very diverse ways and not always easy to recognize. Discovering it is the first step to modifying it.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Most people are not aware of the enormous importance of having healthy self-esteem. Even those who know its importance often do not understand the entire term. Discovering that you don’t love yourself as much as you thought can be difficult to accept, but it is the first step to working on it.

The problem often originates in the limited definition we have of the concept of self-esteem.. We all know how to recognize that a person who is insecure about their body or who is excessively shy in front of others probably needs to improve their self-esteem. However, we forget that a lack of self-esteem manifests itself in many other ways that are not always so clear.

Do you really love yourself?

Inability to set limits

This is probably the concept of low self-esteem most widely known to everyone. It portrays those people who are insecure and fearful in their personal relationships. Those who clearly do not have a good concept of themselves feel inferior and insufficient and fear being abandoned.

To avoid it They are capable of sacrificing their own well-being and ignoring their needs to put themselves at the service of others.. Their need to please can lead them to tolerate disrespect and even mistreatment. They do not consider themselves worthy of love simply for being who they are, which is why they are excessively available and helpful to others.

Read Also: What does respect mean in a relationship?

Excessive self-demand

Some people seem to have good self-esteem because they appear confident and successful to others. Their rigidity and excessive self-demand are generally not related to a lack of self-love as they appear to be individuals with great confidence.

Nevertheless, Their entire self-esteem is based on a specific area of their life to which they dedicate all their energy.. Thus, there are people who obsessively work on their physique or their success at work until they achieve a good position in these areas. The result is an imbalance, a self-concept that is only partially positive because it truly hides an insecurity in the rest of the areas of your life.

The excessive effort put into the successful area helps the person obtain a feeling of security, but those who truly love and accept themselves as they are, do so completely. There is no point in standing out in one area of your life if you really consider that you are not valuable for yourself, for your personality.and you need this partial success to consider yourself valid.

Bad habits

Some people consider their self-love to be totally adequate, but at the same time They lead a completely harmful lifestyle. Bad eating habits, sedentary lifestyle, alcohol or tobacco consumption and even other types of more severe addictions.

When you love yourself, you take care of yourself on all levels. When we have a child we try to provide them with the healthiest lifestyle possible, since we love them and want to take care of them. Why don’t we love ourselves enough to take care of ourselves equally?

defensive attitude

It is common to find people who seem to have great self-confidence, even appearing dominant and leaders in front of others. However, they are excessively sensitive to criticism. Their reaction to any slightest comment that they consider negative from those around them is explosive and disproportionate.. This, far from being a healthy attitude, denotes that that person does not accept himself.

Self-esteem consists of knowing oneself in depth and accepting oneself, loving oneself with virtues and defects. When you jump like a spring in the face of external criticism, you are making it clear that they have not been able to look your defects in the face., integrate them into your personality and work on them. Defensiveness is the shield that these people use to not feel vulnerable, to not see the mask of false self-esteem they wear fall.

When you love yourself, you live in peace

As we see, it is not always easy to detect a lack of self-esteem since it takes on very diverse manifestations. If you really want to work on your self-love, you need to carry out a deep introspective analysis, question your attitudes.. It is necessary that you discover yourself in depth, that you accept and love yourself with everything you are. Only in this way will you be free from the fear of rejection, abandonment and the opinions of others.