How to increase self-confidence

There are millions of people in the world with immense potential to be happy and successful who, however, do not achieve either. We have all known someone who, despite being intelligent, valid, and full of virtues, sabotaged their own opportunities out of fear. Lack of self-confidence prevents us from living the life we ​​want and for which we have everything we need.

As Henry Ford said: “Whether you think you can do it or not, in both cases you are right.” . And the beliefs we hold about ourselves can lift us up or bring us down.. Therefore, it is essential to become aware of self-sabotage and work on our self-esteem so that we stop being our most critical judge and become our biggest admirer.

How to increase self-confidence?

We are tired of hearing hackneyed phrases that invite us to love and accept ourselves, to fight for our dreams and believe in ourselves, without ever being told how to do that. How am I going to love myself from one day to the next after years of hating my flaws? How can I do it if deep down inside I don’t feel that I am a valuable person?

Well, there is no magic wand that can make your self-confidence increase in a second. The only one who has the key to open that door is yourself and to achieve this you have to generate several changes. However, with motivation and perseverance you can increase your security and you will see how your life changes radically. Below we share some guidelines to achieve this.

Change your internal dialogue

Through our thoughts, people send messages to themselves. We reproach ourselves or congratulate ourselves, we judge ourselves, we comment on our actions. This internal dialogue is often automatic and we do not realize the amount of negative communications we send to ourselves throughout the day.

If you want to increase your self-confidence you have to change the way you talk to yourself. Be forgiving, understanding and loving with yourself. Start talking to yourself about what you do well and focus on your mistakes as opportunities for growth. If you constantly beat yourself up and mentally punish yourself, it is impossible for you to believe in yourself.

Think about a child whose parents continually point out his faults and assign negative labels. The little one will grow up feeling insecure and not very valid. On the contrary, if you reinforce his successes and support and guide him through his failures, the infant will feel safe and loved. The same happens with our thoughts.

Additionally, you can create a list of affirmations and repeat them in front of the mirror every day. Capture in them what you want to achieve, in first person and present tense. For example: I am a confident person, I trust my abilities and I live without fear. The brain believes what we tell it, repeating these sentences every day will help strengthen your new way of thinking about yourself.

Act as if

One of the most effective tools to generate change is to start acting as if what we want was already a reality. Start behaving as a person with high self-esteem and confidence would:

Walk upright and look straight ahead when you go down the street.Accept challenges and carry them out as if you fully trust your abilities. If you continue to stay stuck in insecurity, you will never give yourself the opportunity to develop your potential. Instead, every time you try you will discover that you are much more capable than you think and your self-confidence will increase.Start setting limits even if you feel afraid. You may fear that others will reject you if you refuse their requests or express your opinion. Likewise, do it and tell yourself that it doesn’t matter if the other person gets angry, it is your right to take care of yourself.

Reinterpret your fears

Believe it or not, fear and excitement are caused by the same substance: adrenaline; and although psychologically both emotions are experienced differently, they both have a similarity on a biological level.

This means that, theoretically, It is possible to psychologically reevaluate our anxiety responses and transform them into enthusiasm.. This was confirmed by a study published in the Journal Experimental Psychology, where Dr. Alison Brooks separated a group of students into three subgroups and subjected each member to a typically anxiety-inducing activity (an individual presentation while a jury evaluated them).

However, prior to the activity, each participant was given a different instruction. In this case, the members of the first group were not told anything; while The second and third groups were asked to repeat out loud “I’m quiet” and “I am enthusiastic“, respectively.

The results show that the third group, those who tried to interpret their nerves as excitement rather than fear performed significantly better on the task.

In this sense, it can be stated that people can reevaluate anxiety as enthusiasm, using minimal strategies such as internal dialogue (e.g. saying “I’m excited” out loud) or simple messages.

In other words, Adopting an opportunity perspective, rather than a threat mindset, can make the difference in subsequent performance.

Self-confidence is built

Finally, be constant and persevering with these actions. Any change requires time and you will need a period of adaptation until these actions emerge naturally from you. Remember that the path is made by walking and security is built by practicing it. Talk to yourself in a positive and constructive way, give yourself the necessary opportunities to develop your potential and always put yourself at the top of your list of priorities.

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