How to have a strong character?

Having a strong character is not synonymous with stubbornness, aggressiveness or bad temper. In this article we tell you what it really involves and how to develop it.

Surely, you have ever encountered people who do not recognize where they have been wrong and say that famous phrase “that’s just who I am, I have a strong character.” Come on, “strong character” as a justification for mistakes, and bad forms, is not actually having character.

Maybe at some point in your life you have found yourself saying these words. It is not bad to have this type of character, what is harmful is to hide behind it to justify explosions of anger, or shouting and bad words directed at another person.

Below we will clear up the doubts around this concept and show you how you can develop a strong character in your daily life, through simple and easy-to-perform exercises. Let’s dig deeper.

What is character?

Character is a concept that has been subject to much confusion, at least in popular parlance. Well, within psychology, it is a clear notion that refers to the usual way that people react to a situation. According to an article from the Universidad de la Sabana, for the Viennese psychologist Allers, character is the mark that each person has on others, thanks to their personality.

In addition, Character refers to the psychological traits that guide and define personality. This manifests itself in a way of thinking, feeling and acting that shapes the profile and inclinations of an individual..

However, in popular language, character is usually attributed to those who give a lecture with absolute arguments. Subjects that do not give rise to dialogue or negotiation; and they believe that by becoming big they manage to make others small. Therefore, We could confuse the character with these narcissistic traits or with the well-known “bad temper.”

People with strong character are people of integrity

However, People who have “strong character”, far from what it may seem, are assertive people. They have well-defined boundaries in which they protect themselves against manipulation, and the voluntary harm that other people may try to inflict on them.

Having character does not imply being someone aggressive, being someone who seeks to intimidate with his voice and his absolute arguments. Having character means being a person of integrity, who respects and is respected.. That he does not bow down to the other out of fear, but that he does not hesitate to recognize doubts when they assail him: he knows how to recognize the reason when the other is the one who has it.

During grief accompaniment, the person should not be forced to come out of the darkness, they are accompanied with empathy and respect.

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They don’t change their height. They neither make themselves smaller in the face of blackmail and other people’s manipulations, nor do they try to make themselves bigger to intimidate and get seen and respected. Character has more to do with the congruence between what one thinks and what one does.

It is necessary to clarify that people with character are not immune to fear, as is often believed. It is not bravery that defines them, but their resilience and ability to continue despite adversity and fear.

9 keys to having a strong character

Strengthening character is often a challenging experience that requires patience and perseverance. However, below we show some tips that will help make this process easier.

1. Know yourself

An important part of knowing yourself is identifying your values. Knowing them is central for your strong character to develop, since They will allow you to make decisions aligned with your principles and convictions.

To recognize them and commit to them, you need to, first of all, think about your life and make a list of the most relevant values. Then, distribute them in order of importance and act accordingly. Check on them regularly and adjust their behavior if necessary.

2. Improve your leadership

Every leader has a strong character. Therefore, Developing your leadership skills will allow you to shape your character. Some characteristics of the leader: willpower, practical wisdom, loyalty, ethical behavior, emotional intelligence, integrity, and resilience. All of these traits are related to strong character.

To develop leadership, take the following actions:

Learn from other leaders.Practice discipline.Speak assertively.Take initiatives.Be a role model.Identify weaknesses and work on them.Be empathetic.Learn to delegate.Make decisions.Solve problems.

3. Develop empathy

Having empathy is key to having a strong character. This is because it facilitates connection with others, which fosters your social and emotional skills. Remember that people with strong characters are respectful, assertive and integrated, that is, they know how to relate to others. According to an article published in The Permanente Journal, the steps to be empathetic are:

Recognize the other person’s feelings. Imagine how the other person might feel. Express understanding of the emotions (“I see that you are sad”). Legitimize the experience and emotions (“I know this is very hard for you,” ” “What you feel is valid.” Respect the other person. Offer support.

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These steps will help you build more positive and meaningful relationships, and deal with adverse situations you experience with someone else. In other words, they will develop your character.

4. Strengthen your self-esteem

Having high self-esteem makes you feel secure and valuable, which is important to have a strong character that does not give in to problems. Furthermore, self-esteem and resilience are closely related. This means that By boosting self-esteem, your ability to recover from adversity will improve.

To improve your self-esteem practice self-compassion: treat yourself kindly and speak kindly to yourself. Also, identify your strengths, take care of your body and mind. Exercise, as it improves self-esteem levels. Avoid comparisons and share time with your friends.

5. Cultivate emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence makes you capable of identifying and regulating your emotions, which will allow you to make decisions consistent with your values. Remember that Acting based on what is important is essential to having a strong character.

To develop emotional intelligence, it is necessary to exercise your emotional self-awareness and self-control, empathy and assertive communication. Additionally, it is essential that you ask for feedback so that you know if you are making progress. Boost your conflict resolution skills and increase your tolerance for frustration.

6. Overcome your fear of deciding

People with strong character make decisions, despite their fears. By choosing they reaffirm their values, what they believe and what they are. Therefore, if you want to have a good character, start by taking charge of your life and choosing for yourself.

To overcome this type of fear we recommend the following:

Take the risk of making small decisions in your daily life.Before choosing, educate yourself about the different options you have.Consider the alternatives you have in front of you and identify their advantages and disadvantages.Imagine the worst scenario as a result of your choice. Then, think about how you could deal with it.Accept responsibility for your choice.Allow other people to support you when you consider it necessary, but without delegating responsibility.

The best strategy to overcome fears is to expose yourself to them gradually. Therefore, as the American Psychological Association (APA) points out, exposure therapy is a useful intervention to confront phobias, a type of irrational and disproportionate fear.

To have a strong character, it is crucial to learn to make decisions to reaffirm one’s own values.

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7. Learn from mistakes

Making mistakes and learning is essential to having a strong character because it makes you grow and improve. Mistakes are, then, the perfect opportunity to shape who you are and adjust the way you respond to unfavorable situations. To take advantage of your mistakes, keep in mind:

Acknowledge the mistake and accept responsibility.Try to understand why you made a mistake.Think about what you could do differently next time.Write down three or more lessons that the mistake taught you.Write down things you could improve.Reflect on how to prevent Let it be repeated. Persevere and don’t give up.

Practice these suggestions that will allow you to improve and learn. Instead of making you feel like a failure, it will help you create new opportunities. to grow and develop strong character for life.

8. Use a sense of humor

A sense of humor is a useful resource for having a strong character because it strengthens you to face challenges and get out of bad times. Furthermore, as an article in Frontiers in behavioral neuroscience states, “humor has been identified as a form of active coping that contributes to resilience.”

To improve your sense of humor, have fun, laugh, look for the funny side in difficult situations and don’t take too much.. This way you can have a better mood that strengthens your character when experiencing difficult moments.

9. Be optimistic

Optimism fosters strong character by maintaining a positive outlook and an attitude of growth. Thanks to it you can increase your ability to tolerate adversity and fight to achieve your personal and professional goals. To be optimistic:

Focus on the good things, but without denying the bad. Be grateful for what you have and are. Stay away from negative people. Visualize what you want and your achievements. Take care of your body and your mind.

Conclusion

Despite popular confusion, having a strong character does not imply being aggressive or narcissistic, but rather be upright and respectful, with clear boundaries and an ability to recognize and manage emotions.

To develop it, it is important to know yourself, have empathy, strengthen self-esteem, practice emotional intelligence, learn from mistakes, etc. The process of strengthening character is challenging, however, with perseverance and patience you can achieve it.

That said, do you dare to look for that integrity and character (healthy for yourself and your relationship with others) that you can harbor in yourself?