How to get over when a man disappoints you: 10 practical tips

Disappointment is born when someone we trust does not meet our expectations.

But when a man disappoints you and he is your partner, it is especially painful.

Because?

Because everything you’ve built with it falls apart instantly.

And we are faced with the challenge of deciding whether or not we should continue the relationship.

Although it is an uncomfortable topic, you should know that it has a solution.

Here I will share 10 tips to overcome if your man has let you down.

And how to know if your relationship with him will survive. Let us begin!

When a man disappoints you, does nothing go back to the way it was before?

There is a saying that goes,

“When a person disappoints you, even if you forgive them, nothing goes back to the way it was before.”

This phrase rounds in the unconscious of many.

And it makes it hard for us to see clearly if our partner’s disappointment means the relationship is over.

And while there are many couples who end up breaking up, not all of them do.

Disappointment in relationships can be a major emotional challenge.

Although the physicist Albert Einstein once said: “crisis brings progress.”

So while it’s painful, it’s also an opportunity to grow and learn.

And, good news! there are strategies that can help you manage it.

I’m not going to lie to you, it’s true that, after a disappointment, nothing goes back to the way it was before.

But what is not true is that it should be a reason for rupture.

If there is love and commitment, you can achieve strength in the bond and even improve it.

How to overcome disappointment: 10 practical tips

1) Your emotions are a guide

It’s normal to feel hurt, sad, frustrated, and angry after a disappointment.

And there is nothing wrong with exploring those sensations to better understand what this disappointment arouses in you.

During a couple crisis, feelings must be passed through to make decisions.

Your emotions are the guide to understand what happens to you and how to solve it.

And transiting them is a healthy way to get everything that generates you out of your system.

According to a study from the University of Texas, it is not advisable to avoid emotions.

Since, by doing so, we strengthen its negative aspect, which can increase our aggressiveness.

This can generate diseases in the body and mind, causing health problems.

By suppressing our emotions, we confuse and damage our body.

Since our body fights for our survival and works to keep us safe.

Think of it like this, if you are under a negative emotion, your body is constantly trying to manage it.

And that can lead to fatigue and chronic problems. Since your body is exhausted.

So knowing how we react and how we handle them can protect us from physical and mental danger.

2) Do not hide it from your partner

It’s important to understand that you don’t need to hide your emotions from your partner.

Of course it is recommended that there is a context for you to understand them.

I mean, you should propose an explanation for your behavior.

If you keep crying without explanation in front of him, he probably doesn’t understand why.

In that sense, it is necessary for him to know of your disappointment in order to understand your emotions.

Let him know how this makes you feel, it helps to experience disappointment.

And to understand the magnitude of whatever happened between you.

If there is love in the couple, this will help generate commitment to solve it.

You already know, feelings are a part of you that will help you. Don’t suppress them.

3) Talk to your partner and set limits

Talking to your partner about how you feel and what you need from the relationship is key.

In addition to helping him contextualize how you’re feeling, he’ll understand why you’re feeling it.

And, at the same time, it will clarify what it is you need to feel good again.

A conversation about a complicated topic with your partner is not easy.

But effective communication between you can help rebuild trust.

And it is an essential part of any healthy relationship.

To achieve this, it is necessary to set clear goals as a couple.

And set individual limits so that everyone is fine.

To take the first step in this conversation, you must have clear ideas beforehand.

To do this, try to keep the following in mind:

What has disappointed you? Why and how does this situation make you feel? What is essential for your partner to take into account for your well-being. What agreement can they reach to avoid a repeat?

And both must speak honestly and without recriminating each other.

Remember: the goal of this conversation is to start rebuilding.

It is not a reason for discussion.

If you speak from respect and premeditating the words from the love you feel for your partner, anything is possible.

4) Self-control

Self-control is the ability to regulate our emotions and behaviors.

A study published in the journal “Social Psychological and Personality Science” mentions that,

“The way people handle disappointment in relationships is influenced by their level of self-control.”

That is, those who regulate themselves are more likely to deal well with disappointment.

As I mentioned before, this does not mean that you should suppress your emotions.

It’s just that you don’t need to be dominated.

That is, if it makes you sad, don’t cover it up, but don’t allow it to take over your life completely either.

Accompany yourself while you feel it, moving forward in your life where you can.

5) Take care of yourself

Spend time taking care of yourself, doing things you enjoy and feel good about.

It can be something artistic or creative. Or maybe start that hobby you wanted so much.

Exercise can also help you release tension and improve your mood.

The important thing is that this situation does not make you lose focus on yourself.

Continue taking care of your body and mind, and prioritizing your well-being.

6) Neither victim nor drama

Haven’t you talked about it with him yet?

I recommend you stay calm and avoid assumptions about what may be happening.

Regretting and putting yourself in the victim’s place takes away your power to solve things.

To end a problem or make a decision, it is necessary to ACCEPT.

Whatever is happening between the two is a product of the relationship.

And, if there is love, they can work on forgiveness and seek to solve it together.

7) Question your expectations

Reflect on whether your expectations in the relationship are realistic and whether you clearly communicated your needs.

It is also a good time to share the expectations that each one has.

And understand if both can move forward with them.

Here they must forget the “shoulds…”, it is time to rethink what they need.

Maybe it’s time to set new goals that are achievable for both of you.

8) Dedication to the relationship

Most couple crises occur when they don’t spend time with each other.

This disappointment can be the opportunity to review if they have lost focus on the link.

And if they are giving each other the place and importance that each one deserves in the life of the other.

9) Talk to someone

Seek support from friends or family you trust.

Sharing your feelings and experiences can help you process them and feel better.

You can even write about how you feel.

Writing can be a powerful tool for understanding emotions.

And, in addition, it will help you express yourself better when talking to him.

If you can’t process all this well or what you feel is very painful and you can’t find a way out, go to a professional.

It never hurts to ask for help.

10) Learn from the experience and take your time

This is a great opportunity to strengthen the couple.

Use the experience to learn and grow in the relationship.

If necessary, talk about it more than once.

Remember that overcoming disappointment is a process and it doesn’t happen overnight.

Take the time you need to heal. Do not give up!

With proper time and care, you can get over the disappointment and move on.

If you consider that what happened has no solution, you can also take advantage.

Reflect on what you will do differently in the future to avoid similar situations.

What is disappointment in the couple and why does it happen?

When a man disappoints you, it may be due to a communication problem.

Or also because he has failed to meet an important expectation for you in your relationship.

Usually, men and women have different ways of communicating.

And this generates that they interpret the behavior of the other in a different way.

And even, sometimes the woman takes for granted something in the couple that the man did not even know.

And this ends up being a problem, because it means that it was never previously talked about.

In addition, the expectations that they have of the other or of the couple itself, may vary.

And these differences can also cause problems in the relationship.

An article on “Beliefs that Contribute to Dissatisfaction in Relationships” published in the Sage Journals indicates that,

“An issue that affects the level of satisfaction in a love relationship are the expectations of what is normal, normative and desirable in a relationship.”

This means that there are pre-established beliefs, objectives and norms that each one brings with them.

That is, our life story guides what we expect from our partner.

And the beliefs in relationships and what should be done in them, sets our expectations.

But that does not necessarily indicate that the rules are the same for everyone.

It could be that what is an obvious relationship expectation for you is not for him.

And vice versa.

The biggest problem occurs when these expectations or objectives that each one brings are not shared.

And when he does something outside of your norm, trust is broken.

Although the most traditional disappointment of couples is infidelity or double life.

There are also other behaviors or attitudes that can affect the relationship.

Types of couple disappointment and how to identify it

We all go through a couple disappointment from time to time.

Although, there are disappointments that are generated by accumulating day-to-day behaviors.

And this is not as easy to identify as a disappointment due to a concrete fact.

To know how to deal with disappointment, it is necessary to understand what generates it.

General disappointment of the couple

They are emotions that appear when the relationship is not as you would like or expect it to be.

That is, how things are happening in the relationship do not go with you.

And you start to say to yourself, “This wasn’t like this before” or “I didn’t expect this from the relationship.”

And you may even question yourself saying “Should I tolerate this?”

behavioral disappointment

When he has behaviors that do not match what you want or desire.

For example, when he doesn’t pay attention to you when you speak, or when he doesn’t collaborate as you need at home.

Unexpected or surprise disappointment

When you discover something about your partner that you did not know or hide from you.

An infidelity or a traumatic impediment that does not allow you to move forward in the relationship.

For example: fear of commitment.

Or maybe an addiction.

This type of disappointment has to do with the ideal construction you had of him in your head.

Because he’s showing you a…